Eddie, 15, is at Daton and Morgan's house, probably hoping he doesn't bring their cockroaches back to his parents' house at the end of his time there. He actually showed up with clothes on hangers, probably for church, and he is totally adorable. He wants to help with the "experiment" to teach these teens about raising kids. You can totally tell he's a good kid. Dang! No, wait, he totally just drank out of the milk container. I thought that only happened in the movies. "I look forward to taking over this house." Oh, honey, you are too good of a kid. Too late to try to badass your way out of this one.
David, 15, is at Asshat and Kelly's house, and interviews that if they try to control him, "it will probably not happen, cause even my mom can't control me." What if they fight like raging parents who hate each other? Something tells me that's going to shut you up, and not just because I've seen the rest of the show. And comb your hair, young man. He rails on his guitar and tells us his parents got a divorce this summer. Probably because of his hair. He plays heavy metal, which apparently is just "noise."
At Cory and Alicea's house, some jerkoff who looks a lot like Dumb Donald from Fat Albert is all excited about them having Pepsi in the house. I hope it's Pepsi Plus so he can get his vitamins too! Sam is 13 and interviews, "If I want something, I want it, and I usually don't stop until I get it." You are 13. What could you possibly want besides and Xbox and nudie magazines that confuse you?
We're teens and by definition, assholes!
Hey, hey hey...The likeness is uncanny!
He finds a key to their bedroom (so they don't lock the house but they lock their bedroom? Interesting strategy) and goes into the closet where he systematically knocks all of Alicea's camis onto the floor. What an ass. Then he jumps down the stairs and all over the furniture. Because he should have been with the pre-teen group instead?
First the home closet, next, The Limited. Stop the madness!
The teen parents come home and realize they've been infiltrated. Call Orkin. Kelly is in no mood for heavy metal, but plays the good cop by going upstairs and introducing herself to David who immediately understands Oedipus once he sees her, and wishes he would have paid more attention in English class so he knows what to do. She says, "Your hair is really long," to which he says, "Thanks." It was a statement, not a compliment. Try to pay attention.
Cory and Alicea walk in and ask Fantastic Sam when he got there, and he's trying to play it all cool. "An hour ago," he says, suddenly realizing how big Cory is.
"What have you been doing?" Cory asks.
"Messing around," he answers. Thanks, I am Sam.
Daton walks into his house and finds a teenager...doing dishes? Told you Eddie was a good kid. Daton introduces himself and then Morgan says, "Are you our little teenager?" which considering he's taller than both of you, you probably should have re-thought. He was doing the dishes because he's cooking something, and when he pulled out a spatula, it had lettuce and crap all over it. Don't they have a dishwasher?
The offending spatula. Just because it's dirty
doesn't mean I can't beat you with it, teen!
"Morgan is in charge of the dishes, so the lettuce and stuff is all her fault," Daton says. Okay, true, but damn. Lay off already. Morgan mouth-breathes again. Watch out for flies!
Sean and Kelsey get a note about their teen, Renee. She's at volleyball tryouts and needs to be picked up at noon.
Back at Cory and Alicea's house, I am Sam is running around on the roof. I hope he falls. Because Alicea pushes him. "He seems like a troublemaker, big-time," she says. I would have gone with ass, but you know, that's me. I am Sam says Alicea must be scared, and she says, "No, I just don't want you to fall, but if you want to, go for it." Heh. "He's definitely testing us." And then Cory finds the mess in the closet.
"Did you come in here and throw all the hangers down?" Cory asks I am Sam. Alicea sees it, and goes into mom mode in 2.3 seconds.
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Comments (4)
Crap! The whole teen parenting thing started getting less and less hilarious once the borrowed kids hit their tweens! How much fun can old people be???
1 of 4 | Posted by mandymax | Posted on July 30, 2008 6:08 AM
Great recap, Crabby! I laughed all over again. I LOOOOVE Breakfast Club. When I first saw that Penney's commercial, I thought they were remaking it and salivated a little bit, but a remake with today's crop of young actors would probably just piss me off anyway so its for the best.
It was great seeing Alicia and Cory vindicated with that Mom. That Sam kid is such a douche.
As much as I dislike Morgan and Daton, it was seriously uncomfortable listening to them and I felt really bad for their great kid being left alone to play servant with Morgan while she yammered on about how she was being a single parent and working and yada yada. Please bitch, its been a DAY. You've got a house you could never afford in the real world, you're being paid $100 for work that would normally pay half that for an 8 hr day, you're coming home to a kid that cleans of his own accord AND you don't have anyone telling you what a complete f*&%-up you really are. THIS IS NOT WHAT BEING A SINGLE PARENT IS REALLY LIKE.
Not that Austin is any great catch, but he is so much closer to being one than Kelly that I give him extra points. That girl is a complete nutcase and ruuude to boot. I'm pretty sure she hit him when they were on the bed and he said look what you're doing to me and the next shot had him holding her hands. Methinks the abuse comes from her, not him. And then she tries snuggling up to him like nothing had happened and obviously thought he was just going to melt all over her. When he didn't she just walks away. That is one cold bitch, right there. Austin should be VERY thankful that this happened because his life would be absolutely miserable with her. 'Course he'll probably change his mind and go back with her, poor kid.
2 of 4 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on July 30, 2008 8:12 AM
Enjoyed the punking of Sam's mom.
Kelly is so my first wife. Part of it is her diet - way too much sugar and not enough anything else. For sure, Austin was holding her hands to keep her from slapping, punching and/or stabbing him (trust me).
Eddie - would you like to be adopted? I have a pool and an automatic dish waher.
I'm sure the teens were all coached to act up - at least at first.
I don't get the point of the old folks part, either. It isn't like the teens will ever have a choice about their parents getting older (unless you consider parentacide a "choice").
Great recap!
3 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 30, 2008 9:45 AM
DC,
Your recaps crack me up! I've laughed so much on every single "kid-stages" episode (can't say that happened last night). I can relate to what you're saying on so many levels and have to compliment your excellent writing, comments & photo captions, etc...
Well Done! :)
4 of 4 | Posted by lijjy | Posted on July 31, 2008 10:40 AM