Boise is very pretty and is apparently built in sandstone. Like the castles on the beach? How does it not blow away? Sean interviews, "This is the kind of things parents do with their kids," which should immediately clue him in that this is not cool. "Kelsey's dad does this to her every time she goes to a different state, and she was telling me how boring it is." Nothing like turning into your parents to make you want to blow your head off! One of these teens surely must have brought a gun.
They pass Pioneer Village which has a two-headed calf. Oh, people, please. I hope they don't show that poor thing.
Yes, have your wedding here and
let the two-headed calf be the ring bearer!
Eddie interviews that he gave Morgan her space on the train because she needed it and because she was crying the whole time. Maybe she was thinking of the two-headed calf.
Jordan and Sasha and Kelly and Asshat take their charges to the Historic Boise Museum which is going to be loads of fun, I can tell by their hang-dog entrance. The kids hate it and Sasha and Jordan hate it, and we know how much Snowy likes complainers! She says she's the more mature of the group and feels more like their parents. "There definitely could have been less complaining." Amen.
Kelly grills the docent non-stop, which you know this woman loves after all the dead-eyes she must get from the elementary school kids who can't afford to go to DC on their class trip. They pass a case of guns and Kelly says, "Asshat, you like guns." Of course he does, he's the traditional southern man. Now get back in the kitchen and bake him a turkey pot pie, bitch. Oh, Breakfast Club! J'adore you!
David says, "I have a shotgun and I'm getting a 9mm for my birthday." Boise High School, you are officially on notice.
Cory and Alicea waste no time in their family out, and waterboard I am Sam for an afternoon. Oh, wait - they are going water rafting. Sorry, wishful thinking. It would have been awesome to see Alicea kick Sam out of the raft and not pick him up. This seems to make Sam start acting more human and as Alicia says, makes him "chill." So would locking him in a meat cooler!
If it works on Frankie Carbone, it will work on I am Sam.
Back in the hood, Kelly comes up to Morgan to see if she's okay, and Morgan desperate-housewives that Daton left and broke up with her. "He says all I do is sit around and eat on my fat ass," she says, to which Kelly smiles because she knows it's true (see "Birthday Party, Morgan and her inability to help out...").
"Wow, he's really bitter," Kelly says.
"On this experiment," Morgan says, "I realized you don't need a man to make you happy." Uh, you probably do. "If Asshat said he was over it right now, like, how would you, like, feel?" she asks Kelly. Kelly begins to admit that things have not been great with Asshat and that she's beginning to have that conversation with him. Oh, this is going to get good, I can tell you right now.
Kelly interviews, "I needed to say something to Asshat, and I just let it out." Yes, in the driveway, in front of Morgan and your "kid" David. Smooth. "I've learned that people are going to be who they are going to be and they aren't going to change...I'm just sick of putting up a front, for you...Asshat." We went from general conversation to specific jabs very quickly. You can see Morgan is sort of relieved someone else is having troubles, too. Misery/company, you do the math.
"I haven't said all I want to say," Kelly continues. "I have a f#&%^% list in my brain," she says. Morgan tells David they should leave to give them time to talk. David takes off on his skate board. Maybe Morgan can start dating him over Daton? Same maturity level and all.
And we're off..."If you're not happy, and apparently you're not," Asshat begins. Is it me, or does he look exhausted?
That's her prettiest face ever, immortalized on TVgasm.com.
This will appear in every search a future employer does on you, Kelly.
"I don't want to be bored anymore, and I'm bored with you," she says and throws some kind of rock at him while making a bitch-ass face. "You're always so serious. You need to be a kid for awhile." And you know what? If he were acting like a kid, she'd be all, "You need to grow up." There's no pleasing women. As one of them, I know that firsthand.
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Comments (4)
Crap! The whole teen parenting thing started getting less and less hilarious once the borrowed kids hit their tweens! How much fun can old people be???
1 of 4 | Posted by mandymax | Posted on July 30, 2008 6:08 AM
Great recap, Crabby! I laughed all over again. I LOOOOVE Breakfast Club. When I first saw that Penney's commercial, I thought they were remaking it and salivated a little bit, but a remake with today's crop of young actors would probably just piss me off anyway so its for the best.
It was great seeing Alicia and Cory vindicated with that Mom. That Sam kid is such a douche.
As much as I dislike Morgan and Daton, it was seriously uncomfortable listening to them and I felt really bad for their great kid being left alone to play servant with Morgan while she yammered on about how she was being a single parent and working and yada yada. Please bitch, its been a DAY. You've got a house you could never afford in the real world, you're being paid $100 for work that would normally pay half that for an 8 hr day, you're coming home to a kid that cleans of his own accord AND you don't have anyone telling you what a complete f*&%-up you really are. THIS IS NOT WHAT BEING A SINGLE PARENT IS REALLY LIKE.
Not that Austin is any great catch, but he is so much closer to being one than Kelly that I give him extra points. That girl is a complete nutcase and ruuude to boot. I'm pretty sure she hit him when they were on the bed and he said look what you're doing to me and the next shot had him holding her hands. Methinks the abuse comes from her, not him. And then she tries snuggling up to him like nothing had happened and obviously thought he was just going to melt all over her. When he didn't she just walks away. That is one cold bitch, right there. Austin should be VERY thankful that this happened because his life would be absolutely miserable with her. 'Course he'll probably change his mind and go back with her, poor kid.
2 of 4 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on July 30, 2008 8:12 AM
Enjoyed the punking of Sam's mom.
Kelly is so my first wife. Part of it is her diet - way too much sugar and not enough anything else. For sure, Austin was holding her hands to keep her from slapping, punching and/or stabbing him (trust me).
Eddie - would you like to be adopted? I have a pool and an automatic dish waher.
I'm sure the teens were all coached to act up - at least at first.
I don't get the point of the old folks part, either. It isn't like the teens will ever have a choice about their parents getting older (unless you consider parentacide a "choice").
Great recap!
3 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 30, 2008 9:45 AM
DC,
Your recaps crack me up! I've laughed so much on every single "kid-stages" episode (can't say that happened last night). I can relate to what you're saying on so many levels and have to compliment your excellent writing, comments & photo captions, etc...
Well Done! :)
4 of 4 | Posted by lijjy | Posted on July 31, 2008 10:40 AM