Alicea says, "You all should have dealt differently with how he reacts to certain things."
Eva very angrily says, "No. It's-how-you-reacted-to-it." No, I don't think so. Your kid is a tool shed. "He obviously didn't respect you." Why don't you show us how he respects you? "Because you didn't demand it." Do you? I think we're going to need to go to the tape on this call.
"Why are you getting upset about it? If you were in our place, you'd feel the exact same way."
"You're coming into this saying I have attitude," Eva says. You kinda do, Eva! Roll tape!
"I'm just getting annoyed with your little attitude and your," and she makes this face like Eva's been making. Seriously, it does look like her smug countenance (vocab word, 11th grade). She and Cory go on to say he needs better respect for people and Eva says he does have respect for people. Production crew, I said, "LET'S GO TO TAPE!"
And we do...as soon as I am Sam turns the corner, his mother says, "Hey baby." There's your problem right there. He IS a baby. And Eva's about to school Alicea in demanding respect...or so she thinks.
Condom hats are going to be ALL the rage, dude.
"So how come you trashed the house when you first got here?" She asks.
"Because I felt like it," he says.
"Give me a better answer than that," she says.
"Because I FELT like it," he snots.
"Sam."
"I'm serious. I felt like it," he says. Eva blinks because like the Devil in Georgia, she knew that she'd been beat. Alicea's face is priceless as she smiles the "in your face beyotch" smile; I think she even sneaks in a "bag of chips" head bob. I'm with you, Alicea, and we all know how hard it is for me to admit that.
"Do you go into my room and do that?" Eva asks.
"Sometimes," he snots.
"No, you have never trashed my room," she says, attempting to slow down how quickly she's circling the drain.
"Yeah I have, actually," he says, scouring the kitchen for that last sip of nectar from the Pepsi can.
Cory and Alicea cannot believe their luck at being teens vindicated in front of an adult on national television. Savor this sweet, sweet moment, kids, it may never happen again. Eva finally has the nerve to look back at them and you can see she is embarrassed, mortified, and planning on a huge ass-whipping when they get home. She may not wait that long, she may smack him upside the head as soon as her broom takes flight.
Giving someone the "told ya so" face on national TV...priceless.
"There you go," Cory says in a reasonable tone, "that's what he was giving us."
"Well, he's done if for a couple of days," Eva says, "He's going to have to get out of that habit." She does this weird thing where she enunciates each word but barely says the last words audibly, like she's showing them who's boss. But it's too late, no one is buying it no matter how big she is. She has no power and everyone there - including all of America - knows it. Sweet.
Cory interviews that he is going to raise his kids to have more respect than I am Sam had with them. And you know what? I believe him. Back in the house, Cory says to Alicea, "She got her ass punked." No telling what's happening to I am Sam's ass right now, but I'm guessing he won't be sitting down for awhile.
Outside Eva interviews that I am Sam is not a perfect kid, he does things he's not supposed to, and he pushes the limits with her, "But I push right back." That sounds...healthy? "That's the point Alicea and Cory did not get to." Did you not hear my verdict? Nothing you can say now is going to make you or your tard look any better. Just take him home and pray to God almighty this never, ever goes into syndicated reruns or shows up on Netflix.
This was better than I thought it would be. Yay teens! Oh God, I just threw up a little in my mouth.
After that exchange, the other parents are boring. Morgan had to explain to Eddie's mom why she's a single mom in a string of sentences that were borderline incomprehensible. Luckily, Eddie didn't pick up those habits. He's a good kid.
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Comments (4)
Crap! The whole teen parenting thing started getting less and less hilarious once the borrowed kids hit their tweens! How much fun can old people be???
1 of 4 | Posted by mandymax | Posted on July 30, 2008 6:08 AM
Great recap, Crabby! I laughed all over again. I LOOOOVE Breakfast Club. When I first saw that Penney's commercial, I thought they were remaking it and salivated a little bit, but a remake with today's crop of young actors would probably just piss me off anyway so its for the best.
It was great seeing Alicia and Cory vindicated with that Mom. That Sam kid is such a douche.
As much as I dislike Morgan and Daton, it was seriously uncomfortable listening to them and I felt really bad for their great kid being left alone to play servant with Morgan while she yammered on about how she was being a single parent and working and yada yada. Please bitch, its been a DAY. You've got a house you could never afford in the real world, you're being paid $100 for work that would normally pay half that for an 8 hr day, you're coming home to a kid that cleans of his own accord AND you don't have anyone telling you what a complete f*&%-up you really are. THIS IS NOT WHAT BEING A SINGLE PARENT IS REALLY LIKE.
Not that Austin is any great catch, but he is so much closer to being one than Kelly that I give him extra points. That girl is a complete nutcase and ruuude to boot. I'm pretty sure she hit him when they were on the bed and he said look what you're doing to me and the next shot had him holding her hands. Methinks the abuse comes from her, not him. And then she tries snuggling up to him like nothing had happened and obviously thought he was just going to melt all over her. When he didn't she just walks away. That is one cold bitch, right there. Austin should be VERY thankful that this happened because his life would be absolutely miserable with her. 'Course he'll probably change his mind and go back with her, poor kid.
2 of 4 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on July 30, 2008 8:12 AM
Enjoyed the punking of Sam's mom.
Kelly is so my first wife. Part of it is her diet - way too much sugar and not enough anything else. For sure, Austin was holding her hands to keep her from slapping, punching and/or stabbing him (trust me).
Eddie - would you like to be adopted? I have a pool and an automatic dish waher.
I'm sure the teens were all coached to act up - at least at first.
I don't get the point of the old folks part, either. It isn't like the teens will ever have a choice about their parents getting older (unless you consider parentacide a "choice").
Great recap!
3 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 30, 2008 9:45 AM
DC,
Your recaps crack me up! I've laughed so much on every single "kid-stages" episode (can't say that happened last night). I can relate to what you're saying on so many levels and have to compliment your excellent writing, comments & photo captions, etc...
Well Done! :)
4 of 4 | Posted by lijjy | Posted on July 31, 2008 10:40 AM