In a wise move, all the men take off to the grocery store to get what the kids need instead of staying back with the babies. They bitch about the cost of Gerber...because they are paying for this with their allowance? Man up and get the name brand stuff!
Back at the houses, it's naptime, which is my favorite part of the workday, but this one is for the babies. Morgan complains she's so bored because her baby is asleep and she has nothing to do. Is there no TV in this house? No phone? No books? Oh, she doesn't really strike me as much of a reader. Or how about taking a nap yourself since let me assure you, you are going to be UP ALL NIGHT LONG.
Alicea is "struggling" without Cory. Yes, because only combined can they function as one brain. "I never had a baby that squirmed so much." Because you've never had a baby, I'm guessing? "Karson was just a grouch," she complains. "He didn't want to eat because he's teething, he didn't want to play with his toys..." while his parents watch on the monitor. "How am I supposed to feed him if I can't F(BEEP)ing figure this out?" she says while fussing with the seatbelt on his high chair (smart one, Alicea is). The mom says, "She just said the F word." Yes, she did. But Karson is teething so he's probably saying it with every whine. No worries.
Karson seriously won't eat, and she says, "Where is Cory with that Origel?" And condoms, she's probably thinking. Cory pulls up in a minivan (it's own kind of birth control) and walks into the house saying, "Honey, I'm home."
"What the hell? Where have you all been?" Alicea says. Yeah, that won't make him want to come home anymore. "You haven't done anything today." How long were those guys gone?
"I was at the grocery store," he says back.
"Oooh-oooh," she snots. He sighs.
At Morgan & Daton's house, Morgan does not look pleased (get used to that sentence). Daton wants to know if she knows how to sterilize bottles. She doesn't look like she knows how to wash her hands. "In hot water, right?" Science major?
Morgan washes the bottles out the same way she probably rinses a Mountain Dew can, then asks, "What do you want me to do with these bottles?"
Daton answers her slowly, "You-have-to-wash-them-out." Tool.
"I did!"
"You have to wash them then put them in the dishwasher."
"I know!" Then why did you ask? He smarts off that she doesn't know what she's doing and she says, "Then you do it!" and storms off. This is why you shouldn't have a baby right now. Because you ARE one.
"You didn't do anything today," he says to her, "except for hang out with the baby." Oh, man, even I know better than to say something that insensitive, and I'm insensitive!
"It's confusing," Morgan says off camera, "one minute we're getting along and the next we're not." Maybe that's why you've been on-again/off-again, because you are dumb ass teenagers with raging hormones with no knowledge of interpersonal communication skills.
Back to house of teething, Alicea is trying to shove food down Karson's gullet and he's freaking out. No wonder, look at her nails! He probably fears for his eyes. Damn! Kiss those goodbye if you have a baby, not to mention that anvil-sized ring. Are you trying to maim the poor kid? "Open," she demands. He doesn't. "Fine. Starve." Karson's mom is watching on the monitor and she is pissed.
Please! I love my new eyes! Don't gouge them with your gels!
"She's just giving up, she's not even feeding him," she says. No, she's feeding him, he's just not eating. Subtle difference, but difference nonetheless. Is it weird I feel for both of them? Because I don't. So mom decides to step in. She goes to the house and when she knocks Alicea says, "Who the hell is knocking at the door?" I bet she hates knock-knock jokes.
Oh, bitch, you did not just suggest my baby starve.
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Comments (10)
Thank you, oh Dearest Crabby, for recapping this horrible show. I want to run screaming out of the room just from reading this, so I know I couldn't bear to watch it. And what is it with a baby suddenly being a hot accessory item like a pair of Prada shoes?
Honestly, I thought the whole thing was ridiculous back on "Friends" when Rachel got pregnant. You saw her by herself a lot more than with the baby... yeah, 'cause that's what single mothers do. Sheesh.
Babies = loud, need diaper changes, have to be fed, puke often. Cats = quiet, poop in a box, eat for themselves, puke only hairballs.
Hmmmmm...... I'll take the cat option please! :)
(No insult meant to any parents out there - I'm sure your kids are great.)
1 of 10 | Posted by teri00 | Posted on June 30, 2008 9:43 PM
That recap was hilarious.
2 of 10 | Posted by cuzimbtyful | Posted on June 30, 2008 11:56 PM
Okay, so I must say I love this show seeing as how I have a 13-month-old, and I KNEW this was going to be drama.
I love it, because at the end, those kids are going to appreciate their parents and all the hard work they put in (hopefully) and have an understanding of what parenthood is really like..not three days at a time, but FOREVER.
However, I want to punch Alicea and Sean both in the face every time their faces come up onscreen. Alicea wasn't even really trying to feed him. Maybe Karson's different from my son, but my son is picky with eating, and I'm sure with his teething, he's not going to lunge for the spoon. It actually needs to be INSERTED into his mouth, not waved in front of his face. And I hate that Sean was trying to exacerbate the problem and make the baby scream more and cause more issues to turn his girlfriend off. Do you not realize you're screwing with a human life to prove a point? Not nice, and the baby will do it all on her own, thankyouverymuch.
However, I'd like to whack all the parents upside the head too. I don't care if I'm across the street. There is no way I would leave complete teenage STRANGERS to take care of my son. No emotional attachment, so they don't really care. Maybe it's because my son had a heart defect that needed to be repaired at five months, but I'm worried about leaving my son alone with my husband, much less teenagers we don't know.
I need a break, but not THAT bad.
3 of 10 | Posted by narcissistic | Posted on July 1, 2008 5:07 AM
DC, I was so excited to see that someone was recapping this show!!! No one at work is watching it and I had to talk about it with somebody. God, that Alicea is one selfish B. And whatsherface who wouldn't wear the pregnancy belly, it was going to be for what, 18 hours?? I think her paycheck should be docked for that.
4 of 10 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on July 1, 2008 6:11 AM
I thought the show (and your recap) was great. Of course, most of the (selfish) people that most SHOULD watch it (potential parents; those who have parents but don't respect them; blind/deaf people) probably WON'T.
My youngest is in college, but I well remember the day my wife left me alone all day with our first baby. I thought I could watch both the baby and all the football on TV. I was a Marine sergeant, what's so complicated, right? What a quick course in mom appreciation THAT was! I never again resented her "getting" to stay home with the baby while I "had" to go to work with my buddies.
I agree that there is NO WAY I'd leave my child with these genetic mistakes.
I wish I'd had a wise, patient mentor like Miley's dad back then.
5 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 1, 2008 8:26 AM
fire@will:
"most of the (selfish) people that most SHOULD watch it (...; blind/deaf people) probably WON'T" What, blind/deaf people are selfish and don't make responsible parents? Surely that came out wrong.
Crabby, great recap! I wanted to string up Alicea for checking out after a the mom held herself in check as well as she did. And Kelly...How desperate must that Austin be to put up with that sort of childish narcissim. She can't possibly be that good in bed [much too selfish] so what could possibly lead to such pussywhippedness.
And don't even get me started on Sean. What a prick. He sees how much the baby likes him then trashs her while rubbing his hands together crowing about how his evil plan of manipulation against Kelsey is working superbly. She deserves better than being saddled with him for the father of her child, that's for sure. She doesn't need a baby right now, but she never needs one with him. Maybe this show will teach her that at the very least.
6 of 10 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on July 2, 2008 2:33 PM
Not that it matters, but Daton seems a little gay to me. Maybe that's why there relationship is in the crapper.
Alicea is a dumb, selfish c*nt plain and simple. Her mom had her early and now she wants to have a kid early? To quote Julie Roberts in PRETTY WOMAN: "Big mistake. Huge!" Someone give that girl a hysterectomy pronto. Okay? Okay.
7 of 10 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on July 3, 2008 8:25 AM
Well this was just hilarious. I haven't seen the show, but maybe I don't really want to...?
I'm pretty sure that teens aren't the only ones who can be persuaded that child rearing is awful. I'm afraid one episode of this and I will never want to have babies.
8 of 10 | Posted by hollywood sucker | Posted on July 3, 2008 9:51 AM
Crabby:
EXCELLENT recap. For a non-parent, you really seem to "get" it!
I've taped every epi so far for my three teenage sons, but then after watching them, I can't see the "reality" in this reality show. Teens with cul-de-sac homes, stainless appliances, granite countertops, jobs that start at 9 am, make-up, decent hair, AND a maid service? (The teen twits aren't cleaning that house, folks. No way.) Puh-leeze. No one with a crying baby, a job, and a spotless house has time to flat-iron her hair. No one.
9 of 10 | Posted by TheVoiceOfReason | Posted on July 11, 2008 7:23 AM
I keep forgetting to watch this show and after reading the recap, I programed the DVR.
Mama broke her foot when I was six. My sister was 3 and my brother wasn't even walking yet. Daddy took a few days off and he called the phone company before lunch the first day to put the phone on the wall. He couldn't keep my brother from playing with the phone beside the couch. :>)
He also told Mama that he would never again ask what she had been doing all day.
He kept that promise.
10 of 10 | Posted by Gertrude | Posted on July 16, 2008 10:13 AM