All hail the reality show gods, the skanky bitches are back! Yay! I for one am going to reserve judgment of these fine young ladies until I have seen evidence that will allow me to shred them. Welcome to Bad Girls Club!
Exhibit A. Before the credits even roll we are treated to 3 of the girls arguing in a car going down Sunset Blvd at 1:51am. I have no clue who they are yet as the show has barely begun but they are pissed.
Skank #1 is yelling at skank #2 that "if that's what you want to do, you want to start throwing fists in here we'll fight". Skank #2 say's "Let her drive". Driver Skank(that would be skank #3) looks bored to tears and keeps driving.
Skanks 1 & 2 keep yelling back and forth until Skank #2 reaches forward and smacks Skank #1 on the shoulder. And then it's on! Smacks all around causing Driver Skank to scream bloody murder. Seriously that girl has some lungs! I haven't heard a scream like that since I pulled up outside the local Krispy Kreme and it was CLOSED! I mean why? Why on earth would you be closed when you are clearly supposed to open? People have needs. So there was a shooting? What the hell does that have to do with me? Clean up the blood and give me my damn donuts!
Sorry about that. Anyway the Skanks keep fighting causing Driver Skank to pull over. Skank #2 is a tall black girl and Skank #1 is a short blonde chick.
Bend down so I can smack ya!
If I was shorty I'd run like hell about now but then again I have sense. Mostly. Lots of kicking and slapping ensue while Driver Skank yells for them to stop. And suddenly across the screen we see 17 Days Earlier. Oh hell no. This better not turn into one of those shows like Lost where they go back in time then forward in time. My brain can't take it.
And the first chick up is Sarah from Milwaukee, WI, age 23. They tag her as a Party Girl.
Sarah
First thing she tells us is that she's so excited to be a part of BGC that her nipples are hard. I bet she teaches Sunday school. She tells us that she's a bad girl because she's a very sexual person and if she's attracted to someone she will fuck the hell out of them. See she's a very generous person. I'm impressed.
The limo pulls up to the house and Sarah walks up to the door. Locked! Bitch actually grunts like a pig trying to pull the door open and then starts pushing the call button. Over and over. You know those people who come to your house and press the doorbell 900 times even though you are clearly telling them you are coming? They should be shot. Repeatedly.
The limo guy dumps her luggage and leaves. After a little cursing and stomping, Sarah makes her way to the back where she finds a beverage and lets out a huge burp. Classy.
And now begins the Bad Girls Club music. Bad girls, buh buh buh buh bad girls......That's the only words I know and it will be playing in my head for days now. I hope you people are happy.
To the airport we go. Second up is Tiffany, from Chicago, age 24. They call her The Warden.
Tiffany
She can stand in the hot kitchen and keep on cooking! Yes but can you bang pans together while singing a catchy tune? Tiffany tells us that she has anger issues. NO! Why on earth would the producers allow a person with anger issues to live in a house with such delicate flowers as the other girls surely are?
Next at the airport we see Whitney, from Boston, age 21. She has been labeled The Straight Shooter.
Whitney
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Comments (9)
Dang, I missed it, but feel like I saw it after reading your recap. I too am exhausted. Looking forward to this one.
1 of 9 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on December 5, 2008 12:44 PM
I don't need to watch the show either, just read the recaps. LOL! You are a natural Mon.
2 of 9 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on December 5, 2008 10:32 PM
These girls are unreal. I probably left stuff out because they did so much crazy shit. I am LOVING this show!
3 of 9 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on December 6, 2008 6:49 PM
Great recap! These girls are so stupid. But I gotta give a shoutout to Milwaukee! Whoo! We have great breasts here :)
4 of 9 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on December 8, 2008 10:13 AM
I stumbled on this episode yesterday and was floored. I never watched the past seasons but people have told me to start watching, but I don't know if I can handle it. Plus, I can't remember what channel Oxygen is. However, your recap alone was enough to make me want to gouge my eyes out...hopefully I can find the channel because it sounds awesome haha.
5 of 9 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on December 8, 2008 11:39 AM
Rubinia, Yay for Milwaukee boobies!
MrsBojangles, I too wanted to poke my own eyes out but I couldn't type too so I restrained myself lol.
Thanks guys!
6 of 9 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on December 8, 2008 3:40 PM
Actually I think Ailea's really cute, not homely at all. Just not slutted out like most of the girls you see on reality t.v.
Favorite girls so far: Tiffany, Ailea, and Whitney. (Yes Whitney's lesbian comments in the limo were annoying but otherwise I kinda like her for her "straight-shooter"-ness. We'll see if the honeymoon lasts though.)
Least favorite so far: Amber #2 (ughh, a voice like nails on a chalkboard).
Kayla needs psychological help. How many times in one night can someone fly off the handle? I feel bad for her.
7 of 9 | Posted by MaryBelle01 | Posted on December 8, 2008 6:19 PM
Never would have watched this show until I read your recap. You're a natural at this.
8 of 9 | Posted by dr.birdie | Posted on December 9, 2008 3:30 PM
As you can see by my username I loathe all things Boston. So needless to say, I can not listen to anything Whitney says just for the sheer fact that I HATE her accent. Other than that should be a good season. I am liking Amber #1 and Tiffany. Sarah was pretty cool until she let her saggy boobs flop all over the place. Her and Nene from RHOA need to get together and shop for supportive bras.
9 of 9 | Posted by Yanksfan24 | Posted on December 10, 2008 6:45 AM