Tiff tells us that she has tried to talk to Midget but its like talking to a brick wall. She says she doesn't know how many more times she can try to make Midget understand especially since she doesn't want to understand. I DON'T UNDERSTAND! Shut up and go away I am running out of shit to throw at the tv.
You should both hide. Now.
Back at the house the Amber's are tickled shitless because of the way the other girls reacted. Midget says they can't tell them who they can and cannot talk to. She tells us that they confuse her. Yeah me too. Midget says she just wants to get some sleep. Ruh roh. That means somethings gonna happen.
If they had any sense they'd tape a bar of soap to Sarah's hand.
Sure enough, we see 3 of the skanks sneaking up the stairs and Tiff tells us that everyone is tired of the Amber's and they can't take it anymore. So as the Amber's are sleeping the Flatulent Five sneak into their closets with tape and tape up their drawers and shoes and clothes and write "whore bite" on the tape. They stick gummi bears on the tape and write "The Amber Show has been canceled".
Geezer Bait tells us that she just knows that Midget is gonna lose it when she finds tape all over her clothes and she just loves it! Then they take their clothes and throw them off the balcony and some land on a wire. They are giggling dementedly the whole time.
Uh oh Amber's awake! She tells us its 4am and she hears them and goes to see whats up. As she comes down the stairs Tiff runs out the front door and holds the door so she can't open it. She finally gets outside and see's all her shit all over the place and the idiots are laughing and pissing themselves. Amber is not amused and tells them they are going to have to get her stuff down. And she cries.
Wah wah you are all meanies!
The coven do a confessional with a barbie doll screaming for them to get her stuff down and I kinda giggle. It's the Nyquil.
It's a little funny.
Then Amber starts crying and saying that those are her good clothes and wah wah wah. She's tired and doesn't feel well and blah blah blah. Tiff just laughs in her face and tells us she doesn't care about the Amber's anymore and they have been taught a lesson that when ya lay down with dogs ya get fleas and thats what happens. Hey I already said that!
The next morning Midget discovers all her shit taped up. She goes and asks Boston who did it. Bostons just shakes her head. Then laughs as Midget walks away. Midget asks Amber if they did the same to her. Yep. Midget is pissed because someone taped her leather shoes. Midget tells us she's not impressed.
Later they go out. And Geezer Bait is chatting up some tattooed skinny dude. She says he's Irish and she wants to taste some Irish right now. BRB. Have you ever barfed up Nyquil? Not pleasant.
Even Bait could do better than that.
Anyhoodle, as she tells Skinny Irish Dude about her psychic saying there would be a number 3, Fazil and Noah show up. Fazil walks right past her and she says "How are you feeling?" He doesn't respond but goes to the bar to stare at her.
Thats not creepy at all.
Geezer Bait asks Skinny Dude to come to the bathroom with her. He asks why. She says "Because I want to do dirty things to you." He mumbles some shit about her boyfriend and she denies he is her boyfriend and they start swapping slober. Ewww!
Spreading disease one tongue at a time.
Boston is impressed with Geezer Baits ability to juggle all her men and says "her pimp hand is strong." Shut up Boston. As Geezer Bait tries to exchange tongues with Skinny Irish Dude Fazil leaves.
Trashley has sniffed out some nasty dude also. She tells us that Sean's not her type but she's always willing to try something new. That means he'll do for the night.
Not her type. But she'll screw him.
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Comments (22)
Hey Cherie Bear,
Loved the recap this week, it's my favorite by far. I wait all week to see whatcha gotta say about these f*ckwits. I am kinda skeerd for next week though. I don't want my Midget to get a beat down. Her's is mah fave!
I am mad about Tiff. Now she really has earned the title Tiffmonster. I am bummed out about that. You are right about Sarah, she does look like she puts out a foul odor. I grimmace every time I see her. *gags*
Hope you feel better soon, and keep up the good work. You are the best!
-WG
1 of 22 | Posted by Wonder Girl | Posted on February 28, 2009 4:36 AM
Cherie great job! I think your recaps may be the only reason i am still watching this show! I swear its a good thing i don't have heart problems because i know this show makes my blood pressure go up. i would throw stuff at my tv if i didn't just buy a new one. these girls are so ridiculous. the flatulent five seriously got mad at the ambers for talking to someone they didn't aprove of. And when did whitney start hating on kayla after telling her over and over "I gotcha backbone, I gotcha backbone"? Grrr i really hate these bitches. if midget wasn't on this show i would have given up a long time ago.
2 of 22 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on February 28, 2009 7:57 AM
yeah I was waiting for more with Kayla. Yelling. Kicking. Attacking. Scratching. Something. And I wanted her to come back to the house. We need something that isn't fab 5 related.
3 of 22 | Posted by badboysclub | Posted on February 28, 2009 8:40 AM
I see you won't talk shit about the Amber M. any more !!! Since she has become your personal friend!!!
4 of 22 | Posted by ceecee | Posted on February 28, 2009 9:40 AM
Oh Tiff, I mean ceecee, don't get your boxers in a wad. As soon as Midget does something stupid I'll be glad to point it out. Until then I have my hands full with the Flatulent Five. Does this mean you love me no longer?
5 of 22 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on February 28, 2009 9:44 AM
Cherie write some more details about Kayla! lol good ones! Cuz I love kayla. Anyway are you going to recap the reunion and other reunions or talk shows or whatever they'll be on? Please say you will! You are just too funny! Man you have to recap some other shows! You made my day!
6 of 22 | Posted by badboysclub | Posted on February 28, 2009 12:39 PM
I am flattered you think I am Tiffany but sorry I am not!! However,I am fan of the show have read you blog for quite a while !! Anyone who reads everything you write and your comments can tell who you favor. I just point it out! Can I not do that!!!
7 of 22 | Posted by ceecee | Posted on February 28, 2009 5:51 PM
Ceecee you can point out anything you want to. Thats what the comment sections for. I've said over and over that Midget is my favorite. What I'm wondering is why that bothers you so much? Why don't we just agree to disagree? Come on, group hug!
8 of 22 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on February 28, 2009 6:21 PM
As you see i keep coming back to read you! so I think I've hugged you awhile ago! I just like when you wrote picked on everyone that is all! Sorry that my picking that out bothers you so much. Plus I have the biggest lesbo crush on Tiffany!!!
9 of 22 | Posted by ceecee | Posted on February 28, 2009 6:54 PM
LOL I'm coming back to read if anyone has responded to me and here you people are just plain ignoring me! How rude! Just kidding. Wow for a moment I thought there would be fights in this comment section.
10 of 22 | Posted by badboysclub | Posted on February 28, 2009 9:08 PM
FIGHT! FIGHT! CeeCee & Cherie are having a Fight!!!
11 of 22 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on February 28, 2009 10:11 PM
Can't we all just get along? :)
12 of 22 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 1, 2009 4:26 AM
Cherie, love the reviews, and I can forgive that Amber is your favorite... LOL, she is a riot in the confessionals (save for that vapid Amber show), but Tiffany has a point when she says that Midget pretends to be dumb and has no response when confronted.... I am a little bored with the Flatulent Five and the Ambers. Something has got to give and prove why this is the BGC.
As far as Ailea, I love that's she such a nutjob and the fact that she slept with Fazil is amusing. And Roland, the Irish singer, was so hideous.... So she's no longer Geezer Bait, (loved Kevin's drunk dialing) maybe she's now Fazil Bait?
13 of 22 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on March 1, 2009 6:20 AM
Sorry badboysclub, I didn't mean to ignore you. I was just traumatized that ceecee was upset with me. I don't know what I'll be doing after this show but I will cover the reunion show. Only I'll call it the Midget Show and I'll only talk about her. Just kidding. Tee hee.
Hey chooch, ya big trouble maker, don't make me slap that ass!
Thanks for reading guys!
14 of 22 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on March 1, 2009 8:56 AM
chhhhherie.
im with you... ceecee is tiff, or is a close friend of tiff's or is obsessed with tiff.... our midget amber was right to call her out on it recently after the show!
15 of 22 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on March 1, 2009 6:29 PM
SO MUCH WORD on Sarah's funkiness! She always looks so greasy and smelly, like she smells like pee or coochie or something nasty.
16 of 22 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on March 2, 2009 7:31 AM
Ugh, I hate The Amber's as much as the next person, but I do think they are getting a raw deal. that being said, the tape/clothing prank was HILARIOUS and I kept thinking that if The Amber's had thought of it first, they would have acted the exact same way.
I also don't get where the animosity towards Kayla comes in. Yes, she is ghetto and she did leave, but those backstabbing bee-yotches let her go and didn't say a word to Midget, who was fighting too! And the fact that they've made up and get along speaks volumes.
And for the record, I actually like Sarah!
17 of 22 | Posted by jadestarla | Posted on March 2, 2009 11:38 AM
Cherie
Great recap, love the caption for the picture in the confessional "Please make big shiny things go away!" Utterly perfect... Sorry folks but I am a Midget fan as well. Used to be a Tiff fan, ceecee but ever since she went over to the irrational Flab Five have not been able to stand her.
Looking forward to the smack down next week.
18 of 22 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on March 2, 2009 12:59 PM
I just want to say that I think the Ambers have gotten screwed over by a pack of crazy women.
There is a ridiculous double standard going on, and Tiff has seriously started to become crazy.
Right now, I wouldn.t consider any of these women as my friend, but Midget would probably be the funnest to hang out with.
19 of 22 | Posted by lennonwhore | Posted on March 3, 2009 8:20 PM
cherie you should recap the bonus footage lol. ALthough I guess that's a little too much but some of it is just good material for you to make fun of like Ailea getting drunk and being angry at amber B holder Amber M's purse.
20 of 22 | Posted by badboysclub | Posted on March 4, 2009 2:38 PM
Dear Cherie,
I love your recaps and I can not wait for this weeks recap about the trip to Cancun.
21 of 22 | Posted by amiddla1969 | Posted on March 5, 2009 11:24 AM
I detest the Flabby Five. They are nothing but bullies, and there's nothing I abhor more than a bully. They behave like a pack of hyenas, sniffing out what they consider to be the weakest link, and work together to bring them down. They are absolutely awful. I am so saddened by Tiffany's behavior, as she seemed so reasonable in the beginning. I have no respect for any of them. I actually prefer the Ambers (at least Midget). Sad. And pathetic. And I wish Tanisha and Kayla would come back to kick all 5 of the sad, tacky, weak, two-faced asses. Bitches.
22 of 22 | Posted by eagle0021 | Posted on March 5, 2009 8:52 PM