Suddenly Fazil is back and Geezer Bait sits beside him and asks him whats up. He says not much. He tells her she's all up on Dude and Bait denies it. Then she drunkenly says she doesn't know how he feels about her so she was searching for the answers in Dude's tonsils. Fazil is all I don't want to get hurt and Bait swears she wouldn't if he could just express himself and then she coughs on him and a Lucky Charm's flew out.
Oh look a leprechaun shoe!
Fazil wants to come back to the house and cuddle with her every night. She asks why he doesn't just say so and he says he just did. OY! Someone kill me now please! Now she's making out with Fazil. They promise to be honest with each other and then they go back to the house.
Trashley has a bottle of "motion lotion" as Fazil so delicately put it. Then he grabs Bait and totes her upstairs. They do a confessional together and say how they are both a little drunk. Bait also says there is "plenty of penis in the house and vagi-gih! Fazil is impressed she's allowed to say that. And then Trashley runs in and scares Fazil with her boobs that don't move.
Please make big shiny things go away!
The Amber's are in bed with a wtf look on their faces. Boston tells us that everybody is hooking up and she never would have predicted that. Sarah says Noah wants to spend the night but she's apprehensive about having such a hot piece of ass in her bed. Yeah I'd be afraid that if those two smells collide there would be an explosion.
Take his batteries out!
OH GROSS! You can see the covers going up and down like there's a jack rabbit under there and Amber tells us that its Geezer Bait and Fazil. Midget says she's gonna throw up and Tiff says she doesn't know what they are doing and she's just waiting for the reactions in the morning. Then Boston makes fun of Geezer Bait and mimics how she will act in the morning while Tiff laughs.
You and me both.
The next morning Sarah claims she slept next to Noah and its a very big deal for her. Uh huh. Geezer Bait tells us she doesn't want anyone to know she and Fazil slept together. She's afraid the girls will think differently of her. Don't worry, I am sure no one noticed the head board banging into the wall. Or the fact that its on film. Dumbass.
Trashley skanks into the room and announces she doesn't remember what happened. She tells us that she usually has such high standards. Yeah, she gets high and sex is pretty standard.
In the smoke room Sarah is fishing to find out if Geezer Bait and Fazil did the deed. No dude he was jack hammering the bed to test the mattress. Bait denies it and Sarah lies and says she talked to Fazil. Dumbass falls for it and announces it was a big pierced penis. Sarah admits she didn't speak to Fazil and Bait just fessed up for nothing. Trashley comes in and they start chanting "walk of shame" and Geezer Bait high fives her since they both got "tapped".
Now we smell like Sarah. High five!
Trashley tells us happily that Geezer Bait is Big Pimping and she's glad cause now she doesn't have to be the whore of the house. And you thought she had no principles.
Later Tiff asks Bait if she's gonna tell Kevin. Bait says she wants someone young not someone who she's trying to fill her Dad's place with. Then she tells us that Kevin will just have to understand that she's young and kind of pretty and she's gonna go out and have fun.
Telephone! Guess who? Yep it's Geezer Dude and he's drunk and wants to come over. Bait says no. He says yes. They argue. She hangs up on his drunk ass and tells us she is over her relationship with him and is gonna break out and be herself!
Cut to them all being out and Amber coming to the table and telling Tiff that some girls were talking shit. So Tiff decides she's gonna walk into the bathroom. Trashley and Geezer Bait are already in there. Then we see this..
And Trashley tells us that some girls were asking if her boobs were real and she said "Yeah they are real expensive bitch what?" and she makes a hideous face.
Yikes!
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Comments (22)
Hey Cherie Bear,
Loved the recap this week, it's my favorite by far. I wait all week to see whatcha gotta say about these f*ckwits. I am kinda skeerd for next week though. I don't want my Midget to get a beat down. Her's is mah fave!
I am mad about Tiff. Now she really has earned the title Tiffmonster. I am bummed out about that. You are right about Sarah, she does look like she puts out a foul odor. I grimmace every time I see her. *gags*
Hope you feel better soon, and keep up the good work. You are the best!
-WG
1 of 22 | Posted by Wonder Girl | Posted on February 28, 2009 4:36 AM
Cherie great job! I think your recaps may be the only reason i am still watching this show! I swear its a good thing i don't have heart problems because i know this show makes my blood pressure go up. i would throw stuff at my tv if i didn't just buy a new one. these girls are so ridiculous. the flatulent five seriously got mad at the ambers for talking to someone they didn't aprove of. And when did whitney start hating on kayla after telling her over and over "I gotcha backbone, I gotcha backbone"? Grrr i really hate these bitches. if midget wasn't on this show i would have given up a long time ago.
2 of 22 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on February 28, 2009 7:57 AM
yeah I was waiting for more with Kayla. Yelling. Kicking. Attacking. Scratching. Something. And I wanted her to come back to the house. We need something that isn't fab 5 related.
3 of 22 | Posted by badboysclub | Posted on February 28, 2009 8:40 AM
I see you won't talk shit about the Amber M. any more !!! Since she has become your personal friend!!!
4 of 22 | Posted by ceecee | Posted on February 28, 2009 9:40 AM
Oh Tiff, I mean ceecee, don't get your boxers in a wad. As soon as Midget does something stupid I'll be glad to point it out. Until then I have my hands full with the Flatulent Five. Does this mean you love me no longer?
5 of 22 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on February 28, 2009 9:44 AM
Cherie write some more details about Kayla! lol good ones! Cuz I love kayla. Anyway are you going to recap the reunion and other reunions or talk shows or whatever they'll be on? Please say you will! You are just too funny! Man you have to recap some other shows! You made my day!
6 of 22 | Posted by badboysclub | Posted on February 28, 2009 12:39 PM
I am flattered you think I am Tiffany but sorry I am not!! However,I am fan of the show have read you blog for quite a while !! Anyone who reads everything you write and your comments can tell who you favor. I just point it out! Can I not do that!!!
7 of 22 | Posted by ceecee | Posted on February 28, 2009 5:51 PM
Ceecee you can point out anything you want to. Thats what the comment sections for. I've said over and over that Midget is my favorite. What I'm wondering is why that bothers you so much? Why don't we just agree to disagree? Come on, group hug!
8 of 22 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on February 28, 2009 6:21 PM
As you see i keep coming back to read you! so I think I've hugged you awhile ago! I just like when you wrote picked on everyone that is all! Sorry that my picking that out bothers you so much. Plus I have the biggest lesbo crush on Tiffany!!!
9 of 22 | Posted by ceecee | Posted on February 28, 2009 6:54 PM
LOL I'm coming back to read if anyone has responded to me and here you people are just plain ignoring me! How rude! Just kidding. Wow for a moment I thought there would be fights in this comment section.
10 of 22 | Posted by badboysclub | Posted on February 28, 2009 9:08 PM
FIGHT! FIGHT! CeeCee & Cherie are having a Fight!!!
11 of 22 | Posted by chooch850 | Posted on February 28, 2009 10:11 PM
Can't we all just get along? :)
12 of 22 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 1, 2009 4:26 AM
Cherie, love the reviews, and I can forgive that Amber is your favorite... LOL, she is a riot in the confessionals (save for that vapid Amber show), but Tiffany has a point when she says that Midget pretends to be dumb and has no response when confronted.... I am a little bored with the Flatulent Five and the Ambers. Something has got to give and prove why this is the BGC.
As far as Ailea, I love that's she such a nutjob and the fact that she slept with Fazil is amusing. And Roland, the Irish singer, was so hideous.... So she's no longer Geezer Bait, (loved Kevin's drunk dialing) maybe she's now Fazil Bait?
13 of 22 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on March 1, 2009 6:20 AM
Sorry badboysclub, I didn't mean to ignore you. I was just traumatized that ceecee was upset with me. I don't know what I'll be doing after this show but I will cover the reunion show. Only I'll call it the Midget Show and I'll only talk about her. Just kidding. Tee hee.
Hey chooch, ya big trouble maker, don't make me slap that ass!
Thanks for reading guys!
14 of 22 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on March 1, 2009 8:56 AM
chhhhherie.
im with you... ceecee is tiff, or is a close friend of tiff's or is obsessed with tiff.... our midget amber was right to call her out on it recently after the show!
15 of 22 | Posted by hollagirl2 | Posted on March 1, 2009 6:29 PM
SO MUCH WORD on Sarah's funkiness! She always looks so greasy and smelly, like she smells like pee or coochie or something nasty.
16 of 22 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on March 2, 2009 7:31 AM
Ugh, I hate The Amber's as much as the next person, but I do think they are getting a raw deal. that being said, the tape/clothing prank was HILARIOUS and I kept thinking that if The Amber's had thought of it first, they would have acted the exact same way.
I also don't get where the animosity towards Kayla comes in. Yes, she is ghetto and she did leave, but those backstabbing bee-yotches let her go and didn't say a word to Midget, who was fighting too! And the fact that they've made up and get along speaks volumes.
And for the record, I actually like Sarah!
17 of 22 | Posted by jadestarla | Posted on March 2, 2009 11:38 AM
Cherie
Great recap, love the caption for the picture in the confessional "Please make big shiny things go away!" Utterly perfect... Sorry folks but I am a Midget fan as well. Used to be a Tiff fan, ceecee but ever since she went over to the irrational Flab Five have not been able to stand her.
Looking forward to the smack down next week.
18 of 22 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on March 2, 2009 12:59 PM
I just want to say that I think the Ambers have gotten screwed over by a pack of crazy women.
There is a ridiculous double standard going on, and Tiff has seriously started to become crazy.
Right now, I wouldn.t consider any of these women as my friend, but Midget would probably be the funnest to hang out with.
19 of 22 | Posted by lennonwhore | Posted on March 3, 2009 8:20 PM
cherie you should recap the bonus footage lol. ALthough I guess that's a little too much but some of it is just good material for you to make fun of like Ailea getting drunk and being angry at amber B holder Amber M's purse.
20 of 22 | Posted by badboysclub | Posted on March 4, 2009 2:38 PM
Dear Cherie,
I love your recaps and I can not wait for this weeks recap about the trip to Cancun.
21 of 22 | Posted by amiddla1969 | Posted on March 5, 2009 11:24 AM
I detest the Flabby Five. They are nothing but bullies, and there's nothing I abhor more than a bully. They behave like a pack of hyenas, sniffing out what they consider to be the weakest link, and work together to bring them down. They are absolutely awful. I am so saddened by Tiffany's behavior, as she seemed so reasonable in the beginning. I have no respect for any of them. I actually prefer the Ambers (at least Midget). Sad. And pathetic. And I wish Tanisha and Kayla would come back to kick all 5 of the sad, tacky, weak, two-faced asses. Bitches.
22 of 22 | Posted by eagle0021 | Posted on March 5, 2009 8:52 PM