Sarah suggests they have masturbating wars so they can see who's louder and then we see Amber in the limo proudly proclaiming to the others that she can stick anything "Up there."
Hey! Where's my purse?
They decide to change the subject and announce another award. This one is the Hot Mess Award. Ha! How can you pick just one? Nominees are..Bait, for having a fit in the limo because she needed to pee.
I knew I should have worn a pull up!
Tiffany for having a fit and throwing her shit down the stairs in Cancun. She was threatening to leave because Boston was being kicked out.
Wanna bet?
Ashley for her ridiculous breakdown after losing the contest in Cancun. And guess who the winner is? Hottest Mess is Trashley!
Damn, that dude is pissed off.
Next up they discuss how Midget has a serious lacking in ability to pick up guys. Amber tells her she sucks at it and that's why no guys came to the house for her. We see a love coach telling the girls not to chase men and then Midget trying to sell Amber for $5.
Make that $4!
We see the lady giving out advice about what to ask on a date. She tells them not to lie.She says they only have a couple of seconds to make a connection so smile.
We are smiling.
Cut to a drunken Midget telling this guy that his face looks like her vagina when she doesn't shave. I'm begining to see Amber's point.
Hey Bushface! Wanna date?
Love Coach Lady asks them how many of them feel nervous on a first date. Sarah raises her hand.
I'm confused. Do I bathe before or after I have sex?
Love Coach Lady warns that some women become little chatterboxes. And we see Bait talking this guys ear off about who the hell knows what. Basically she tells him she's a loser.
And you smell like one too.
Love coach says the most important thing is smiling. And we see Boston looking like she smells Sarah as some dude says they are pretty but they have no personality.
Go fuhk yuhself!
She also advises that they talk about current events. You know read a newspaper. Cut to Midget telling some dude that they should talk about important stuff like the economy, and vibrating cock rings.
If ever persons boughted juss one cock ring the ecomonomony would be save! *hiccup!*
Then Love Coach Lady tells them the best thing they can give a person is their commitment. To connect with them in a deep and meaningful way. Ha! Has she seen this show? They shows scenes of the girls "connecting" all right.
Was it skinhead night at the club?
Boston being friendly.
Bet they had to fill that pool in to get rid of the disease.
Back to the Ambers we have Amber asking Midget if she's ever seen that movie where the vagina has teeth. Uhh....no. Oh wait, she means Snow White! No? Maybe it was just the version I saw. Ok so cut to the Flab Five talking shit about their fav subject in all the land. The Ambers suck, the show is dumb, blah blah blah bitch.
Then cut to the Ambers apparently wandering away from the set as Announcer Dude calls for them. Where could they be? Well in the super private bathroom that's where. Midget talks about how they can talk shit in their because its so private, as she stuffs tissue in her bra. LOL.
You should do like Trashley and just stick cement blocks in there.
Cut to more scenes of Amber bashing. Bait says that Amber's skin's gonna look like leather. She better hope not cause Bait will be all over her. Then Amber talks shit about Bait. She says that is what you are going to meet if you do online dating. That should scare the hell out of people. Amber's eyeliner bothers Tiff. Amber is grossed out that Bait is dating her Dad lol. More scenes of the Flab Five calling Amber a slut, whore, trashy. On and on it goes.
Finally we see the Ambers heading into the "control room." LOL looks like we might need to take up a collection so Oxygen can get some decent equipment.
Oh look, they "found" triple x outtakes from the show. I'm not sure my stomach can take this but for you guys I'll press forward.
Gettin' a little queasy.
Then we see scenes of Midget in the hot tub and naked Tiff throws a tray of ice at her. They wrestle, still naked. Then we come upon this.
Midget pickle.
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Comments (12)
Dear Boston
If you had a 3-some, then you indeed had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period.
1 of 12 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on March 19, 2009 10:28 AM
Haha good catch Fayellis1! Damn I can't believe I missed that. Maybe I better take my shoes off and start counting lol.
2 of 12 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on March 19, 2009 10:34 AM
It's ok Cherie..I read your recaps before I watch the eppy on my DVR to see if there was anything worth watching. The recaps are so good I thought they were from Boston!
3 of 12 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on March 19, 2009 10:41 AM
also, in the beginning whitney was like you can be a lesbian but just dont hit on me and acted like a complete homophobe yet she had a threesome? i wonder if it was with two guys?
4 of 12 | Posted by shakeitkatie | Posted on March 19, 2009 10:51 AM
Thanks for recapping Cherie,
Great recap, had fun watching the show. Really looking forward to the last show and the reunion. Wondering if there is going to trouble.
Thanks again
K
5 of 12 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on March 19, 2009 11:51 AM
shakeitkatie - I was thinking the exact same thing. How could a girl that freaks out anytime a girl smiles in her direction be involved in a threesome unless it was with two guys?
6 of 12 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on March 19, 2009 12:37 PM
flowie623 & shakeitkatie --I wondering if the threesome was with two girls and a guy. Boston reacts way too much and seems mighty uncomfortable about lesbians to be normal. Seems like she has some repressed feelings and might be protesting too much. Also remember an episode when she was really drunk and was dancing real close to the other girls. The other girls were teasing her about it.
Thanks
K
7 of 12 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on March 19, 2009 1:46 PM
I think it was all an editing trick. I think they took her answer from "have you ever gotten in a fight?" To which of course her reply is "yes I'm from boston" and I think they showed the exact same clip from her on the 3some question. That's just my theory.
x's and o's
8 of 12 | Posted by tlicious420 | Posted on March 19, 2009 7:09 PM
I love your recaps, Cherie! They're so funny - especially this weeks recap!
I always LMAO at the captions under the pictures, especially of Boston, Sarah & Ashley.
Too bad next week is the last episode - but I'll be looking forward to next seasons! I hope you recap next seasons!!
-April
9 of 12 | Posted by April_08 | Posted on March 20, 2009 4:58 PM
tlicious- i almost think you are right but at the same time due to her constant saying it on the show, i would not doubt if she really answered that to a lot of her questions and then just used the homophobic comments for drama
10 of 12 | Posted by shakeitkatie | Posted on March 21, 2009 5:30 PM
Cherie! I finally watched this after having it on my dvr all week.
Great job as always! At one point my son asked me if I was ok because I had started hiccuping from laughing!
Can't wait for the reunion. I'm sure these idiots will give you PLENTY of raw (if not rank) material to work with!
SWAK, PottyMouth
11 of 12 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 23, 2009 12:13 PM
I was brought up properly and taught that men should never hit women, but if any female could sway me on this issue, it would be Ailea. It might not be morally correct to feel this way- but here's hoping she marries/dates a real redneck who doesn't mind (repeatedly) smacking those ridiculous glasses off her buck-toothed face with a tire iron. It would be less than she deserves. Ideally, he'd run her over with his truck afterwards. Ailea's father should have pulled out earlier. Unfortunately for the rest of us, he didn't.
12 of 12 | Posted by ScottyD | Posted on March 25, 2009 4:00 AM