They put a condom on it and the Kayla tells Midget to put it in her butt. Then we see Midget trying to learn how to Booty Pop. Tiff seems awfully interested in Midget's ass.
Next we see a shot of Midget talking on the phone to a guy. She tells him she's thinking of getting into porn. He tells her she better brush up on her blow job abilities. Must be Surfer Dude on the phone. Then we see a blacked out image of Trashley having sex with a random dude. And making noises. Eew!
Anyone else NOT surprised that Trashley's on top?
Amber tells us that the three x's stand for Bait, Trashley and Sarah because they were the whores of the house. Uh huh. I seem to remember you getting a little action from Stubface as well. So shut it. Up next is Boston talking about how stupid the Amber Show is and how repetitive they are. Ya mean like when you announce how you are from Boston over and over and over?
On to the House Boy tape! The girls all decided to find a dude who would come clean for them. Sarah says he should be uneducated. They hold auditions and Sarah tells us she likes Blake because he has a belly, he's pale and has nasty tattoos. There are those stellar standards of hers again. Blake gets the job but he sucks at it which is probably why we never saw him on the actual show.
He won't cut it, he looks like he showered recently.
Next are scenes from Barry's Bootcamp where the girls went to work out. Well most of them worked out. Bait just acted pitiful and then fell on the floor in a heap claiming to have an asthma attack.
I bet he's glad he didn't have to perform CPR.
Midget mimics Bait's "attack" and says Bait is so emotional and this segues into another award. Yay!
Nominees are Sarah for some fit she had about someone trying to "steal her feelings." Kayla for her limo fit where she stripped naked. Bait for her retarded "hold me back" attack on Midget where you see her looking back at Sarah and Boston waiting for them to come hold her back and only then did she try to get at Midget. And Amber's crying fit after the trolls put her shit outside and on the roof. And the winner is....
I'm bout to take my draws off y'all!
Man Kayla did know how to throw a proper fit didn't she? The next award is for Coolest Celebrity. I didn't remember any celebrities. I still don't. Nominees are...Pirate Fabio and his giant wanker, Carrot Top who is a giant wanker, Tanisha, my fav bad girl EVER, and Jesse Jane, you know, the wholesome girl who looks nothing like a pornstar, and Chris Judd, J-Lo's ex and a cutie also. And......the winner is......
Boo! My Tanisha was ROBBED! Robbed I say! These awards are rigged! Damn the Ambers are getting to me. Get outta my head Ambers. I don't want to be a twit!
Ok so Midget tells Amber how pretty she looks causing Amber to need to go look in the mirror. Perfect opportunity to talk shit about her and give her an award. Turns out Amber has been given the Worst Dancer Award. No shit.
I've seen epileptic frogs with more grace.
Cut to scenes of Amber blowing kisses at herself and generally admiring her own face. Midget gets her attention and drags her off to the bathroom. Again. There they talk about Bait and her attempts to save the world one water bottle at a time. And she's using plastic bags as recycling bins. Twit.
Al Gore must be so proud.
Next award goes to Boston for the Biggest Deal. Cut to scenes of Boston saying she's from Boston about 100 times. At the end they show a disclaimer lol. At one point they show Sarah saying "Hey Toto, we aren't in Boston anymore." Haha good one.
Now we see Midget eating an ice cream cone and asking Amber if she's fat. Then we see a little Midget belly as Amber tells her she might have a little beer belly.
Midget beer belly.
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Comments (12)
Dear Boston
If you had a 3-some, then you indeed had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period.
1 of 12 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on March 19, 2009 10:28 AM
Haha good catch Fayellis1! Damn I can't believe I missed that. Maybe I better take my shoes off and start counting lol.
2 of 12 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on March 19, 2009 10:34 AM
It's ok Cherie..I read your recaps before I watch the eppy on my DVR to see if there was anything worth watching. The recaps are so good I thought they were from Boston!
3 of 12 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on March 19, 2009 10:41 AM
also, in the beginning whitney was like you can be a lesbian but just dont hit on me and acted like a complete homophobe yet she had a threesome? i wonder if it was with two guys?
4 of 12 | Posted by shakeitkatie | Posted on March 19, 2009 10:51 AM
Thanks for recapping Cherie,
Great recap, had fun watching the show. Really looking forward to the last show and the reunion. Wondering if there is going to trouble.
Thanks again
K
5 of 12 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on March 19, 2009 11:51 AM
shakeitkatie - I was thinking the exact same thing. How could a girl that freaks out anytime a girl smiles in her direction be involved in a threesome unless it was with two guys?
6 of 12 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on March 19, 2009 12:37 PM
flowie623 & shakeitkatie --I wondering if the threesome was with two girls and a guy. Boston reacts way too much and seems mighty uncomfortable about lesbians to be normal. Seems like she has some repressed feelings and might be protesting too much. Also remember an episode when she was really drunk and was dancing real close to the other girls. The other girls were teasing her about it.
Thanks
K
7 of 12 | Posted by gasmreader | Posted on March 19, 2009 1:46 PM
I think it was all an editing trick. I think they took her answer from "have you ever gotten in a fight?" To which of course her reply is "yes I'm from boston" and I think they showed the exact same clip from her on the 3some question. That's just my theory.
x's and o's
8 of 12 | Posted by tlicious420 | Posted on March 19, 2009 7:09 PM
I love your recaps, Cherie! They're so funny - especially this weeks recap!
I always LMAO at the captions under the pictures, especially of Boston, Sarah & Ashley.
Too bad next week is the last episode - but I'll be looking forward to next seasons! I hope you recap next seasons!!
-April
9 of 12 | Posted by April_08 | Posted on March 20, 2009 4:58 PM
tlicious- i almost think you are right but at the same time due to her constant saying it on the show, i would not doubt if she really answered that to a lot of her questions and then just used the homophobic comments for drama
10 of 12 | Posted by shakeitkatie | Posted on March 21, 2009 5:30 PM
Cherie! I finally watched this after having it on my dvr all week.
Great job as always! At one point my son asked me if I was ok because I had started hiccuping from laughing!
Can't wait for the reunion. I'm sure these idiots will give you PLENTY of raw (if not rank) material to work with!
SWAK, PottyMouth
11 of 12 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on March 23, 2009 12:13 PM
I was brought up properly and taught that men should never hit women, but if any female could sway me on this issue, it would be Ailea. It might not be morally correct to feel this way- but here's hoping she marries/dates a real redneck who doesn't mind (repeatedly) smacking those ridiculous glasses off her buck-toothed face with a tire iron. It would be less than she deserves. Ideally, he'd run her over with his truck afterwards. Ailea's father should have pulled out earlier. Unfortunately for the rest of us, he didn't.
12 of 12 | Posted by ScottyD | Posted on March 25, 2009 4:00 AM