Well peeplets, I am a sad panda tonight. This is the last episode. Le sigh. Lets see if I can perk up enough to do justice to Bad Girls Club!
Oh look, we start off with Boston and her delusional thoughts about leaving BGC. She tells us yet again how they do it in Boston. Apparently in Boston the straight jackets are made from poodle hair. She also says how she knows it's gonna be weird for the Flabby Five at night without her. Cut to scenes of the other girls partying in Cancun lol.Then we see her leaving notes for each Flatulent Five. And she tells us "The Fab Five are always going to be the Fab Five. We have prevailed. We will ride until the end." Yeah but you'll be riding a very short bus down a shorter road. What a waste of sperm.
THE END, NUTJOB!
On to Bait. She tells us thru her beaver teeth that she wouldn't change a thing that happened. She feels like Midget deserved what she got. "Even though she's sending me home, I still feel like I won." Yeah I hope they don't make the crayons too sharp where you are going whackadoo. She says even though she broke the rules and hit Midget, she's ok with it. And then grins her trademark grin of the insanely retarded.
Bread makes me poop!
The rest of the girls are shown arriving back at the house. Amber is amazed that Midget's picture isn't bashed in. So am I. Then Sarah and Trashley find the notes Boston left for them.
Aww, if only they could read.
Sarah and Trash exchange notes with each other and then Trash tells us that they are still trying to adjust to the fact that two of their friends have left. Don't worry, you've adjusted to much worse. Like that time you had your balls and penis removed.
Sarah realizes that Bait didn't leave notes but then spots one but its for Fazil. They are sad because the closets are empty. Yeah that's what happens when people PACK! Dumbass. Even Midget thinks the house feels weird now. I guess it would with all that evil removed. Amber tells us that this is probably the best thing to happen to those girls, they just don't know it yet. Thanks for sharing Dr. Phil. Now shut it.
Oh yay! Boston's on the phone. Sheesh go away already. Sarah screams "Bean Town!" and Boston says some crap and then says "This bitch is not getting away with it." Yes how dare she get jumped by some punk ass posers and then have the balls to send them home. Sarah tells her it was bullshit and there are still unresolved issues. I thought she meant her unhealed herpes sores but I think she means with the Ambers. She tells Boston they are just trying to not get kicked out make the best of it.
As a show of support I shall never shower again!
Upstairs Midget is telling Amber that this is not what she wanted. She didn't want anyone to go home. "I knew we weren't best friends but I thought we were friends. She says it's easy to get caught up in a group and she says she could see it happening to her. She just hopes everyone will snap out of it and make the best of things. Amber thinks they have. Midget tells us she's sad it came to this and its just quiet and weird.
They totally love us now.
Downstairs Sarah asks Tiff and Trash if this is something Boston will ever get over. Tiff thinks she will grow from this and Sarah tells her that Boston is all pissed and said "No I didn't learn anything. I'm Boston and this is how we do it in Boston." Do they have earthquakes in Boston? Or maybe just a really bad electrical storm? One can hope.
Tiff says Boston is still mad right now and is trying to explain this to herself and everyone she knows. Trash doesn't say a word and looks distracted.
Man, my nuts itch.
Tiff tells us that Boston and Bait are her girls and she's just going to make the best of the time she has left. Then she makes this face.
Fucking gummi bear just flew right outta my ass!
Uh oh. It seems Scott, Amber's ex has been trying to reach her. He leaves a message for her. For someone who is "over" a dude Amber sure looks happy to hear from him.
Time to get my arms waxed!
« Little Miss Perfect: The Royal Rumble-Battle For Perfection | Main | American Idol Results: Waking Up on the Wrong Side of the Smokey »
Comments (13)
Excellent recap! This season was ridiculously entertaining. Midget was my favorite from the beginning with those stupid gummi bears. Amber needs to wash her face and realize raccoon-style eyeliner is just as hideous as her roided grape smuggler back home. Ew...that pic of him made me puke. Trashly's disco tits need some serious surgical help. Pretty soon she'll be wearing her nipples as earrings! Bait needs years of therapy. Boston needs to get a map and realize there is life outside of beantown. She's a trainwreck stuck in Groundhog Day -- we get it, you love baw-stun. Sarah is just a ho and it's sad that she realizes it yet does nothing to change. Tiff kept it real -- real bi-polar -- but real nonetheless. All in all, an entertaining season only made better by snarky recaps that made me choke on my gummi bears with laughter. Kudos to you dahling! Can't wait for the reunion!!!!
1 of 13 | Posted by Fancypants | Posted on March 28, 2009 6:57 AM
"A Bag Girl is YOU."
Was that typo intentional? If not, best typo EVER! LMAO
2 of 13 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:28 AM
Wonderful recap, Cherie, your stuff was more entertaining than this episode.
Braless Sarah, please reconsider--your girls shouldn't be around your waist while you're in your 20's. Tranny, girls on steroids aint cute. AmberB--you had the nicest figure but I HATE your eyeliner. You mean none of those sad bitches gave you makeup tips? Bait--try Lithium and a straight-jacket. Whitless--my girl from Bawston says you're from the burbs and you don't represent. Oh, and I can't wait until you see that the Beav dropped dime on you. Tiff--not bad but you got on my nerves with your fat5 shit. Love to see Tanisha go off on you sometime. AmberM--you're a BAD GIRL! Loved you the most...
Noah--just be glad you won't be breeding bi-lingual crabs.
Geezer--good luck finding another online date! Does your parole officer know?
Greg--you better keep in touch with AmberB, not many broads would be as easily entertained.
Cherie--love your recaps. Read them all in the last few days and now I know where to find you! xoxo
3 of 13 | Posted by DangerousD | Posted on March 28, 2009 1:44 PM
Fancypants-Nipples as Earrings! Hahahaha! Wish I had thought of that!
Rubina that was indeed a typo, but now that you mention it, that's funnay as hell and accurate! Nevermind, yes I absolutely did it on purpose. I swear! LOL. BAG Girls! hahahaha
DangerousD- "Noah-just be glad you won't be breeding bi-lingual crabs."
That may be one of the best lines this season! Hell, maybe you people should be doing the recaps because I am seriously cracking up right now!
I love love love you guys and I will miss hearing from you.
4 of 13 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on March 28, 2009 2:33 PM
The Midget got three girls sent home this season... and I hope they all go off on her ass at the reunion.
Funny, when I saw Kayla on the preview, I thought to myself, "who is that ugly bitch?" LOL.
I don't know... this season kinda sucked, once the Fat 5 crap started.... Cherie, you made this season bearable and all the reviews are the bomb!
5 of 13 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on March 28, 2009 5:51 PM
Cherie:
Your recaps have been hilarious and given me endless hours of entertainment... Will you be doing a recap of the reunion?
6 of 13 | Posted by sara_shark | Posted on March 28, 2009 8:39 PM
I think Sarah should be forced to give up her Bad Girl credentials for not LYING to Noah! Is she a BAD girl or just a wimp?
Isn't it sad that Boston and Bait flunked out of BAD Girls Club? Think about it: they weren't even good enough to be bad! I hope they realize they've hit bottom. lol
7 of 13 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:13 PM
OMG Cherie!
Great recap this week. I too am a little sad that the show and your BGC recaps are coming to an end. At least we still have the reunion to watch.
I love how much you love to hate Sarah. I think you called her squid cooch or something. LMAO! Hilarious! I still swesr that Sarah smells bad, and I would love to have her addy so I can send her a bath and shower gift basket.
Cookie brought out the Tiffmonster again, but I think we needed to see a little bit of drama in the last episode. I was glad they made up.
Cant wait to see your reunion recap next week. Stay cool.
-Wonder Girl
8 of 13 | Posted by Wonder Girl | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:28 PM
*tear*I'm gonna miss the BGC, too! Now I'm gonna have to find something to watch on Tuesday nights!
*tear*
Cherie - Thank you SO much for doing the recaps! They've been such a laughter for me!
Sarah, you'd be a pretty girl if you weren't so slutty acting. Ashley, if you'd take your implants out, stop wearing so much make-up and quit acting as if you're God's gift to EVERYBODY people might've liked you.. you're nothing but a sucka-foo chicken-head. Whitney, stop reppin' for a city you dont' live in, stop trying to make your Boston accent come out - it should just come naturally. Ailea, hope you get the psychological help you need... and I hope that you don't treat everyone you meet (in real life) like you did Cookie (Amber M.), you're also like Ashley... a sucka-foo chicken-head. Amber B., I hope you grow a backbone & stop letting those ugly guys treat you like shit. Cookie, coming from a person who has a bubbly personality like yours, you can't walk around acting like that ALL THE TIME - people just won't have it, so you need to learn when to draw the line (But you were so my favorite). Tiffany, I hope you learned from this show, not to 'pop off' on friends if they come to you with a serious subject, and I hope you learn that 'cliques' will always give you a bad name (doesn't matter what kind of person you are, if you're in a group *fab5* people will judge you as they do your 'friends'). Noah, I'm glad you wised up - even if it was at the end, I didn't like you at first - but after seeing what you had to say to Sarah, I changed my mind, you were an alright guy. Fazil, I have nothing to say to/about you. Kevin (Geezer dude), please don't talk to Ailea anymore - you're too 'sane' for that sucka-foo chicken-head!
I'm gonna miss the girls, as the lot of you are. They were fun to watch, and I'm glad I started watching BGC :)
And again, THANK YOU, CHERIE!!!
*sniffle*
9 of 13 | Posted by BGCFan_April | Posted on March 28, 2009 10:38 PM
cherie, congratulations on a season well done! your recaps are awesome and i looked foward to them after every vomit-inducing episode i watched. this was a pretty good episode that wrapped things up fairly well, but i'm dying to see the reunion tuesday nite. i really hope that perez calls aliea out for her desperate attempts to look like a bad-ass. whitney as well. how cool would it be if on the reunion midget took a cheap shot at her and threw some steaming hot chow-dah at her?
10 of 13 | Posted by jennylovesflowie623 | Posted on March 29, 2009 3:14 PM
Cherie!!! I'm just DYING to see your recap of the reunion show!!????
11 of 13 | Posted by DangerousD | Posted on April 1, 2009 8:31 PM
Are you going to recap the reunion??
12 of 13 | Posted by msjacqmills | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:48 AM
Yes I am working on it right now. Sorry its so late but all will be explained in time.
Smooches!
13 of 13 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:59 AM