Midget tells Amber that if she's going to call Scott, do it here while she has support. Amber tells us she doesn't know what is going to happen when she goes home. She's afraid she might get bored and call him and end up in the same situation. Damn girl, get a puppy. You'll never be bored. If mine isn't puking, he's pissing on the cat or chewing my shoes. Or taking the remote and hiding it under the bed. It's endlessly entertaining.
Jack: Proud cat pisser and remote thief.
Sarah and Tiff ask Amber if she's going to call Scott back. Then Sarah tells us that Amber continues to let Scott run over her and treat her bad so to her, Amber's membership in the BGC is questionable at best. Well your hygiene is questionable at best so you're even. Then Amber pulls up a picture of Scott on the computer.
I'd rather do Bubba J.
They all crack up and start screaming. Sarah says "That is what you have been obsessing about?" Tiff says she doesn't like muscles, Trash says she doesn't like Scott and Sarah calls him disgusting. Tiff says "Do you see his skin?" and Sarah says "Do you see his face and his big handle bar ears?" Tiff says "His penis is definitely small right?" and Amber claims he's really well endowed. Ha! Compared to what? A chihuahua?
Does his penis have giant ears too?
Later Sarah's friend Kim calls. She wants details on what she's been up to. Sarah tells her she met the hottest guy in Cancun and had "probably one of the hottest bang outs ever." Just as I think I can keep from puking her nasty friend says "Was it full of yumminess?" Blehhhhhhhhhhhhck! Sarah says she's not going to tell Noah while she's at the house.
To the Red Rock they go! Noah is there and he grabs Sarah and hugs her. I bet she smells like enchiladas. Amber tells us Sarah is a really nice girl but a bit promiscuous and she shouldn't have fooled around on Noah. In other words, she's a meat packer from way back.
I didn't know they made taco perfume.
Sarah see's Fazil and gives him the stuff Bait wanted returned to him. They ask him if he misses Bait and he doesn't want to talk about it. He says he will keep his feelings to himself. Dude you just dodged a seriously insane bullet. You should be jumping for joy.
But..she was like sunshine. Especially when I pee.
Amber tells Fazil that its too bad it went so far and that Bait is a good girl. Uhhhh...huh? That "good girl" kicked your friend in the tater! And bragged about it! Therefore she is sooooo NOT a good girl. She's a psycho little beaver toothed rat. Anywhoodle, Fazil says he can't keep up with this shit. Cut to Sarah and Noah.
Ruh roh!
Sarah tells us that Noah is asking her if she hooked up with anyone while in Mexico. She says she's trying everything she can to avoid answering him. Puke on him. That'll distract the hell out of his ass. It's not like you haven't done it before.
I had my eyes closed so it doesn't count.
Next thing you see is Noah saying he's leaving. Apparently Sarah couldn't keep avoiding the question and I guess it didn't occur to her to show him her ping pong trick so she admitted she did the nasty in Cancun.
The girls all gather around Sarah and Tiff wants to know why she told him. Uh it's called honesty. Sarah says that he kept asking her and when she didn't answer he knew. And then she says the most ridiculous thing ever.
But I'll play hide the burrito with a random dude all day long.
Tiff decides she's going to go talk to Noah. He tells her that Sarah's big thing was how she didn't want to look like a whore on tv. LOL. So now he feels like an asshole. Tiff tells him he needs to talk to Sarah and he says there's nothing to say. He is pissed as hell. He tells Tiff that he could have slept with 2 hooker/strippers from Ohio but he didn't because he didn't know and he did right by himself. And he says he is done. He's not even mad, he's just done.
I'm sure she was thinking about you the whole time!
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Comments (13)
Excellent recap! This season was ridiculously entertaining. Midget was my favorite from the beginning with those stupid gummi bears. Amber needs to wash her face and realize raccoon-style eyeliner is just as hideous as her roided grape smuggler back home. Ew...that pic of him made me puke. Trashly's disco tits need some serious surgical help. Pretty soon she'll be wearing her nipples as earrings! Bait needs years of therapy. Boston needs to get a map and realize there is life outside of beantown. She's a trainwreck stuck in Groundhog Day -- we get it, you love baw-stun. Sarah is just a ho and it's sad that she realizes it yet does nothing to change. Tiff kept it real -- real bi-polar -- but real nonetheless. All in all, an entertaining season only made better by snarky recaps that made me choke on my gummi bears with laughter. Kudos to you dahling! Can't wait for the reunion!!!!
1 of 13 | Posted by Fancypants | Posted on March 28, 2009 6:57 AM
"A Bag Girl is YOU."
Was that typo intentional? If not, best typo EVER! LMAO
2 of 13 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:28 AM
Wonderful recap, Cherie, your stuff was more entertaining than this episode.
Braless Sarah, please reconsider--your girls shouldn't be around your waist while you're in your 20's. Tranny, girls on steroids aint cute. AmberB--you had the nicest figure but I HATE your eyeliner. You mean none of those sad bitches gave you makeup tips? Bait--try Lithium and a straight-jacket. Whitless--my girl from Bawston says you're from the burbs and you don't represent. Oh, and I can't wait until you see that the Beav dropped dime on you. Tiff--not bad but you got on my nerves with your fat5 shit. Love to see Tanisha go off on you sometime. AmberM--you're a BAD GIRL! Loved you the most...
Noah--just be glad you won't be breeding bi-lingual crabs.
Geezer--good luck finding another online date! Does your parole officer know?
Greg--you better keep in touch with AmberB, not many broads would be as easily entertained.
Cherie--love your recaps. Read them all in the last few days and now I know where to find you! xoxo
3 of 13 | Posted by DangerousD | Posted on March 28, 2009 1:44 PM
Fancypants-Nipples as Earrings! Hahahaha! Wish I had thought of that!
Rubina that was indeed a typo, but now that you mention it, that's funnay as hell and accurate! Nevermind, yes I absolutely did it on purpose. I swear! LOL. BAG Girls! hahahaha
DangerousD- "Noah-just be glad you won't be breeding bi-lingual crabs."
That may be one of the best lines this season! Hell, maybe you people should be doing the recaps because I am seriously cracking up right now!
I love love love you guys and I will miss hearing from you.
4 of 13 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on March 28, 2009 2:33 PM
The Midget got three girls sent home this season... and I hope they all go off on her ass at the reunion.
Funny, when I saw Kayla on the preview, I thought to myself, "who is that ugly bitch?" LOL.
I don't know... this season kinda sucked, once the Fat 5 crap started.... Cherie, you made this season bearable and all the reviews are the bomb!
5 of 13 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on March 28, 2009 5:51 PM
Cherie:
Your recaps have been hilarious and given me endless hours of entertainment... Will you be doing a recap of the reunion?
6 of 13 | Posted by sara_shark | Posted on March 28, 2009 8:39 PM
I think Sarah should be forced to give up her Bad Girl credentials for not LYING to Noah! Is she a BAD girl or just a wimp?
Isn't it sad that Boston and Bait flunked out of BAD Girls Club? Think about it: they weren't even good enough to be bad! I hope they realize they've hit bottom. lol
7 of 13 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:13 PM
OMG Cherie!
Great recap this week. I too am a little sad that the show and your BGC recaps are coming to an end. At least we still have the reunion to watch.
I love how much you love to hate Sarah. I think you called her squid cooch or something. LMAO! Hilarious! I still swesr that Sarah smells bad, and I would love to have her addy so I can send her a bath and shower gift basket.
Cookie brought out the Tiffmonster again, but I think we needed to see a little bit of drama in the last episode. I was glad they made up.
Cant wait to see your reunion recap next week. Stay cool.
-Wonder Girl
8 of 13 | Posted by Wonder Girl | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:28 PM
*tear*I'm gonna miss the BGC, too! Now I'm gonna have to find something to watch on Tuesday nights!
*tear*
Cherie - Thank you SO much for doing the recaps! They've been such a laughter for me!
Sarah, you'd be a pretty girl if you weren't so slutty acting. Ashley, if you'd take your implants out, stop wearing so much make-up and quit acting as if you're God's gift to EVERYBODY people might've liked you.. you're nothing but a sucka-foo chicken-head. Whitney, stop reppin' for a city you dont' live in, stop trying to make your Boston accent come out - it should just come naturally. Ailea, hope you get the psychological help you need... and I hope that you don't treat everyone you meet (in real life) like you did Cookie (Amber M.), you're also like Ashley... a sucka-foo chicken-head. Amber B., I hope you grow a backbone & stop letting those ugly guys treat you like shit. Cookie, coming from a person who has a bubbly personality like yours, you can't walk around acting like that ALL THE TIME - people just won't have it, so you need to learn when to draw the line (But you were so my favorite). Tiffany, I hope you learned from this show, not to 'pop off' on friends if they come to you with a serious subject, and I hope you learn that 'cliques' will always give you a bad name (doesn't matter what kind of person you are, if you're in a group *fab5* people will judge you as they do your 'friends'). Noah, I'm glad you wised up - even if it was at the end, I didn't like you at first - but after seeing what you had to say to Sarah, I changed my mind, you were an alright guy. Fazil, I have nothing to say to/about you. Kevin (Geezer dude), please don't talk to Ailea anymore - you're too 'sane' for that sucka-foo chicken-head!
I'm gonna miss the girls, as the lot of you are. They were fun to watch, and I'm glad I started watching BGC :)
And again, THANK YOU, CHERIE!!!
*sniffle*
9 of 13 | Posted by BGCFan_April | Posted on March 28, 2009 10:38 PM
cherie, congratulations on a season well done! your recaps are awesome and i looked foward to them after every vomit-inducing episode i watched. this was a pretty good episode that wrapped things up fairly well, but i'm dying to see the reunion tuesday nite. i really hope that perez calls aliea out for her desperate attempts to look like a bad-ass. whitney as well. how cool would it be if on the reunion midget took a cheap shot at her and threw some steaming hot chow-dah at her?
10 of 13 | Posted by jennylovesflowie623 | Posted on March 29, 2009 3:14 PM
Cherie!!! I'm just DYING to see your recap of the reunion show!!????
11 of 13 | Posted by DangerousD | Posted on April 1, 2009 8:31 PM
Are you going to recap the reunion??
12 of 13 | Posted by msjacqmills | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:48 AM
Yes I am working on it right now. Sorry its so late but all will be explained in time.
Smooches!
13 of 13 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:59 AM