Back inside Red Rock Amber sits down with Sarah and says "We both have depressing men situations." Then Amber tells her she commends her for being honest, that not a lot of girls would be. Sarah says "Well a lot of good that did me!" Cut to Sarah telling us she doesn't understand why Noah is so upset. She's not his girlfriend and they aren't together so "What the fuck is this kids problem?" Uhh Sarah if you didn't think he'd be so upset then why were you afraid to tell him? And furthermore I think he's probably upset because you wouldn't boink his ass but you laid it on the first dude you saw in Cancun. Just a guess.
I had my eyes shut and used a condom. It doesn't even count duh!
Sarah goes outside to talk to Noah. She tells him she's sorry and she knows that doesn't fix it or change it but she is. And she starts to cry. Noah asks her if she knows what he could have done while she was gone and she says no and she didn't know he wasn't doing anything. He tells her he didn't do anything and just as I am feeling for the guy he says this. "If I wanted to fuck somebody there's a fat bitch looking out there just waiting to get laid. Fuck you you rooster headed wad!
You would bang a fat chick? Seriously?
Noah continues by saying that she made a decision. Sarah is sorry that her decision to be a flappy lipped floosey hurt his feelings but it doesn't give him the right to talk to her the way he is. He reminds her that she told him she wanted to be a better person and she didn't want to have sex too soon and he went along with that. (See told ya that's why he's pissed) Sarah decides that he's the one in the wrong and he's just trying to make her feel bad. She stomps off.
In the car Midget is saying it's frustrating to her because she doesn't want to see Sarah sad. Sarah tells the girls that Noah told her she was a piece of shit and he threw in her face what she told him she wanted to do and that he's trying to make her feel like a whore and she knows that's not true. No, he was pretty dead on.
Bet that seat belt melted.
Sarah tells us how dare he try to make her feel bad for having fun on vacation. She no longer wants to speak to him and Noah is dead to her. Back at the house the telephone rings. It's Tiffs friend and "brother." He says he's coming to visit tomorrow just as Midget comes into the room. She grabs the phone and says some jibberish about bouncing and being drunk and she tells him she loves him and will see him tomorrow.
I'm drunk and I go bouncy bouncy bouncy!
Upstairs Amber is telling Sarah that back in Pittsburgh she doesn't have a job and she's afraid she'll go back to Scott. Sarah in a moment of clarity asks her if she wants Scott for Scott or because it's easy. Amber says easy. Sarah says the easiest thing for her to do when she meets a guy is sleep with him. But it's not always the right thing to do. Point being, easy is not always best. Sarah asks how she could possible be with someone who treats her so badly and Amber says because she thinks she was actually in love with him. What's not to love? He's unattractive, on steroids, abusive, he cheats on her and calls her names..hell does he have a brother?
This reminds me of Scott's penis.
Sunset cruise time! Sarah tells us she is so excited to drink fruity drinks and just be silly together. Midget does the "I am king of the world" thing and then the girls notice there are other boats around and decide to do some flashing.
Trash would have mooned them but she forgot to tape her nuts up.
Sarah starts talking about how weird it will be to go home. Trash says her friends are gonna have to step it up to be as much fun as these girls. Sarah gets sappy and say they all have become friends. Tiff tells them that the last two years of her life have been hell. She left a terrible relationship but look at her now. She says she lost all her friends in those two years but now she has gained them. And she's crying.
I love you guys.
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Comments (13)
Excellent recap! This season was ridiculously entertaining. Midget was my favorite from the beginning with those stupid gummi bears. Amber needs to wash her face and realize raccoon-style eyeliner is just as hideous as her roided grape smuggler back home. Ew...that pic of him made me puke. Trashly's disco tits need some serious surgical help. Pretty soon she'll be wearing her nipples as earrings! Bait needs years of therapy. Boston needs to get a map and realize there is life outside of beantown. She's a trainwreck stuck in Groundhog Day -- we get it, you love baw-stun. Sarah is just a ho and it's sad that she realizes it yet does nothing to change. Tiff kept it real -- real bi-polar -- but real nonetheless. All in all, an entertaining season only made better by snarky recaps that made me choke on my gummi bears with laughter. Kudos to you dahling! Can't wait for the reunion!!!!
1 of 13 | Posted by Fancypants | Posted on March 28, 2009 6:57 AM
"A Bag Girl is YOU."
Was that typo intentional? If not, best typo EVER! LMAO
2 of 13 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:28 AM
Wonderful recap, Cherie, your stuff was more entertaining than this episode.
Braless Sarah, please reconsider--your girls shouldn't be around your waist while you're in your 20's. Tranny, girls on steroids aint cute. AmberB--you had the nicest figure but I HATE your eyeliner. You mean none of those sad bitches gave you makeup tips? Bait--try Lithium and a straight-jacket. Whitless--my girl from Bawston says you're from the burbs and you don't represent. Oh, and I can't wait until you see that the Beav dropped dime on you. Tiff--not bad but you got on my nerves with your fat5 shit. Love to see Tanisha go off on you sometime. AmberM--you're a BAD GIRL! Loved you the most...
Noah--just be glad you won't be breeding bi-lingual crabs.
Geezer--good luck finding another online date! Does your parole officer know?
Greg--you better keep in touch with AmberB, not many broads would be as easily entertained.
Cherie--love your recaps. Read them all in the last few days and now I know where to find you! xoxo
3 of 13 | Posted by DangerousD | Posted on March 28, 2009 1:44 PM
Fancypants-Nipples as Earrings! Hahahaha! Wish I had thought of that!
Rubina that was indeed a typo, but now that you mention it, that's funnay as hell and accurate! Nevermind, yes I absolutely did it on purpose. I swear! LOL. BAG Girls! hahahaha
DangerousD- "Noah-just be glad you won't be breeding bi-lingual crabs."
That may be one of the best lines this season! Hell, maybe you people should be doing the recaps because I am seriously cracking up right now!
I love love love you guys and I will miss hearing from you.
4 of 13 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on March 28, 2009 2:33 PM
The Midget got three girls sent home this season... and I hope they all go off on her ass at the reunion.
Funny, when I saw Kayla on the preview, I thought to myself, "who is that ugly bitch?" LOL.
I don't know... this season kinda sucked, once the Fat 5 crap started.... Cherie, you made this season bearable and all the reviews are the bomb!
5 of 13 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on March 28, 2009 5:51 PM
Cherie:
Your recaps have been hilarious and given me endless hours of entertainment... Will you be doing a recap of the reunion?
6 of 13 | Posted by sara_shark | Posted on March 28, 2009 8:39 PM
I think Sarah should be forced to give up her Bad Girl credentials for not LYING to Noah! Is she a BAD girl or just a wimp?
Isn't it sad that Boston and Bait flunked out of BAD Girls Club? Think about it: they weren't even good enough to be bad! I hope they realize they've hit bottom. lol
7 of 13 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:13 PM
OMG Cherie!
Great recap this week. I too am a little sad that the show and your BGC recaps are coming to an end. At least we still have the reunion to watch.
I love how much you love to hate Sarah. I think you called her squid cooch or something. LMAO! Hilarious! I still swesr that Sarah smells bad, and I would love to have her addy so I can send her a bath and shower gift basket.
Cookie brought out the Tiffmonster again, but I think we needed to see a little bit of drama in the last episode. I was glad they made up.
Cant wait to see your reunion recap next week. Stay cool.
-Wonder Girl
8 of 13 | Posted by Wonder Girl | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:28 PM
*tear*I'm gonna miss the BGC, too! Now I'm gonna have to find something to watch on Tuesday nights!
*tear*
Cherie - Thank you SO much for doing the recaps! They've been such a laughter for me!
Sarah, you'd be a pretty girl if you weren't so slutty acting. Ashley, if you'd take your implants out, stop wearing so much make-up and quit acting as if you're God's gift to EVERYBODY people might've liked you.. you're nothing but a sucka-foo chicken-head. Whitney, stop reppin' for a city you dont' live in, stop trying to make your Boston accent come out - it should just come naturally. Ailea, hope you get the psychological help you need... and I hope that you don't treat everyone you meet (in real life) like you did Cookie (Amber M.), you're also like Ashley... a sucka-foo chicken-head. Amber B., I hope you grow a backbone & stop letting those ugly guys treat you like shit. Cookie, coming from a person who has a bubbly personality like yours, you can't walk around acting like that ALL THE TIME - people just won't have it, so you need to learn when to draw the line (But you were so my favorite). Tiffany, I hope you learned from this show, not to 'pop off' on friends if they come to you with a serious subject, and I hope you learn that 'cliques' will always give you a bad name (doesn't matter what kind of person you are, if you're in a group *fab5* people will judge you as they do your 'friends'). Noah, I'm glad you wised up - even if it was at the end, I didn't like you at first - but after seeing what you had to say to Sarah, I changed my mind, you were an alright guy. Fazil, I have nothing to say to/about you. Kevin (Geezer dude), please don't talk to Ailea anymore - you're too 'sane' for that sucka-foo chicken-head!
I'm gonna miss the girls, as the lot of you are. They were fun to watch, and I'm glad I started watching BGC :)
And again, THANK YOU, CHERIE!!!
*sniffle*
9 of 13 | Posted by BGCFan_April | Posted on March 28, 2009 10:38 PM
cherie, congratulations on a season well done! your recaps are awesome and i looked foward to them after every vomit-inducing episode i watched. this was a pretty good episode that wrapped things up fairly well, but i'm dying to see the reunion tuesday nite. i really hope that perez calls aliea out for her desperate attempts to look like a bad-ass. whitney as well. how cool would it be if on the reunion midget took a cheap shot at her and threw some steaming hot chow-dah at her?
10 of 13 | Posted by jennylovesflowie623 | Posted on March 29, 2009 3:14 PM
Cherie!!! I'm just DYING to see your recap of the reunion show!!????
11 of 13 | Posted by DangerousD | Posted on April 1, 2009 8:31 PM
Are you going to recap the reunion??
12 of 13 | Posted by msjacqmills | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:48 AM
Yes I am working on it right now. Sorry its so late but all will be explained in time.
Smooches!
13 of 13 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:59 AM