Midget tells Tiff that she is proud of her because she is so strong and can admit when she's wrong and overcome it and get so much better. She tells her that's amazing and she wishes she could do that. And she tells her she thinks of her as a role model. Tiff tells us that they been thru so much together and done so much and her heart is weakened because the time is running out.
Sarah decides enough of this sappy shit and they need to get drunk. And they do and also take pictures.
The sniffles. I haz them.
Back at the house Stubface has made an appearance. Oh yay! Amber tells us that she likes that he likes her but she doesn't like him. She doesn't know why. I know why. Cause your ass is nugget short of a happy meal. Stubface is pouring himself a bowl of cereal. A very large bowl. Like Martha Stewart doing laundry large.
I bet his dumbass eats cereal with a fork.
Amber tries to grab a piece of cereal out of Scott's trough but he slaps her hand away. Then he tells her he has to get every piece wet before he eats it. They make back and forth wet jokes but it's grossing me out so zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
In the smoke room Tiff is talking about Midget being drunk and asleep upstairs. In Tiff's bed. Sarah asks if she's naked and Tiff says no. And then Tiff does a Midget impression. While she was half asleep/drunk she told Tiff to wake her when Mike gets there so she can "bounce on it."
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord these ho's to keep.
Doorbell. It's Mike, Tiff's friend and "brother." Tiff tells us that Mike is not her actual brother. They've never had sex or touched each other it's just a platonic friendship. Upstairs they go to find Midget only partially lucid.
I'm guessing Midget's ass.
There is lots of unintelligible mumblings by Midget and lots of giggling by Tiff Sarah and Mike. Tiff ask Midget if it feels good and she says "It feels good right now." More laughter. Then Tiff asks Midget if she's letting her brother feel her up and Midget says "I think so." They all are laughing, Midget included. Then Midget calls them all "some dirty motherfuckers." More laughing.
Back to Amber and Stubface. She tells him he better start being nice. She threatens to make him go outside and he says he will pass out. Much like I am about to do because these two are zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. They end up under the covers. Oh crap this just won't end. The next morning out by the pool Stubfazzzzzz tells Amber he's going to miss her, just a little. Cut to Amber telling us she doesn't even like him. He's gross and weird. And then we see this lol.
Baaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrffffffffff!
More boring shit with these two ending with him punching her arm and saying see ya slugger. I really really hope not. Cut to Midget inside telling Amber that she doesn't really remember in what order it happened but she just remembers "him" touching her and making her feel uncomfortable. Midget thought that everyone was in the room. Amber wants to know where he touched her but Midget isn't sure. She just remembers Tiff saying this is my friend and being happy to introduce them. She says she just tried to react with humor but she felt uncomfortable.
I think I was maybe, sort of, almost kinda violated.
Midget says that Mike made her feel uncomfortable but she is trying to be cool about it because this is Tiff's friend and she doesn't want to piss Tiff off. But it's bothering her. Amber tells her maybe she should have said something at the time but she thinks she should go ahead and talk to her now. Midget, sweetie. DON'T TELL. Everyone up there was joking and laughing and you kept promising you were going to "bounce up on it." It would be different if you remembered exactly what he touched. It doesn't make it ok but I see no good coming from telling Tiff. If it were me, I'd let it go. However I have a feeling that production decided they needed one more fight before the show was over.
The calm before the storm.
It seems the girls get their last meal in the house cooked by professional chefs. Everyone is excited. They are cooking butternut squash croquette, arugula and apple salad, some sort of soup and filet mignon. Well la dee da! I'd rather have a Big Mac. Chef Dude calls out the menu and then says "Which I don't think anybody hates."
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Comments (13)
Excellent recap! This season was ridiculously entertaining. Midget was my favorite from the beginning with those stupid gummi bears. Amber needs to wash her face and realize raccoon-style eyeliner is just as hideous as her roided grape smuggler back home. Ew...that pic of him made me puke. Trashly's disco tits need some serious surgical help. Pretty soon she'll be wearing her nipples as earrings! Bait needs years of therapy. Boston needs to get a map and realize there is life outside of beantown. She's a trainwreck stuck in Groundhog Day -- we get it, you love baw-stun. Sarah is just a ho and it's sad that she realizes it yet does nothing to change. Tiff kept it real -- real bi-polar -- but real nonetheless. All in all, an entertaining season only made better by snarky recaps that made me choke on my gummi bears with laughter. Kudos to you dahling! Can't wait for the reunion!!!!
1 of 13 | Posted by Fancypants | Posted on March 28, 2009 6:57 AM
"A Bag Girl is YOU."
Was that typo intentional? If not, best typo EVER! LMAO
2 of 13 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:28 AM
Wonderful recap, Cherie, your stuff was more entertaining than this episode.
Braless Sarah, please reconsider--your girls shouldn't be around your waist while you're in your 20's. Tranny, girls on steroids aint cute. AmberB--you had the nicest figure but I HATE your eyeliner. You mean none of those sad bitches gave you makeup tips? Bait--try Lithium and a straight-jacket. Whitless--my girl from Bawston says you're from the burbs and you don't represent. Oh, and I can't wait until you see that the Beav dropped dime on you. Tiff--not bad but you got on my nerves with your fat5 shit. Love to see Tanisha go off on you sometime. AmberM--you're a BAD GIRL! Loved you the most...
Noah--just be glad you won't be breeding bi-lingual crabs.
Geezer--good luck finding another online date! Does your parole officer know?
Greg--you better keep in touch with AmberB, not many broads would be as easily entertained.
Cherie--love your recaps. Read them all in the last few days and now I know where to find you! xoxo
3 of 13 | Posted by DangerousD | Posted on March 28, 2009 1:44 PM
Fancypants-Nipples as Earrings! Hahahaha! Wish I had thought of that!
Rubina that was indeed a typo, but now that you mention it, that's funnay as hell and accurate! Nevermind, yes I absolutely did it on purpose. I swear! LOL. BAG Girls! hahahaha
DangerousD- "Noah-just be glad you won't be breeding bi-lingual crabs."
That may be one of the best lines this season! Hell, maybe you people should be doing the recaps because I am seriously cracking up right now!
I love love love you guys and I will miss hearing from you.
4 of 13 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on March 28, 2009 2:33 PM
The Midget got three girls sent home this season... and I hope they all go off on her ass at the reunion.
Funny, when I saw Kayla on the preview, I thought to myself, "who is that ugly bitch?" LOL.
I don't know... this season kinda sucked, once the Fat 5 crap started.... Cherie, you made this season bearable and all the reviews are the bomb!
5 of 13 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on March 28, 2009 5:51 PM
Cherie:
Your recaps have been hilarious and given me endless hours of entertainment... Will you be doing a recap of the reunion?
6 of 13 | Posted by sara_shark | Posted on March 28, 2009 8:39 PM
I think Sarah should be forced to give up her Bad Girl credentials for not LYING to Noah! Is she a BAD girl or just a wimp?
Isn't it sad that Boston and Bait flunked out of BAD Girls Club? Think about it: they weren't even good enough to be bad! I hope they realize they've hit bottom. lol
7 of 13 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:13 PM
OMG Cherie!
Great recap this week. I too am a little sad that the show and your BGC recaps are coming to an end. At least we still have the reunion to watch.
I love how much you love to hate Sarah. I think you called her squid cooch or something. LMAO! Hilarious! I still swesr that Sarah smells bad, and I would love to have her addy so I can send her a bath and shower gift basket.
Cookie brought out the Tiffmonster again, but I think we needed to see a little bit of drama in the last episode. I was glad they made up.
Cant wait to see your reunion recap next week. Stay cool.
-Wonder Girl
8 of 13 | Posted by Wonder Girl | Posted on March 28, 2009 9:28 PM
*tear*I'm gonna miss the BGC, too! Now I'm gonna have to find something to watch on Tuesday nights!
*tear*
Cherie - Thank you SO much for doing the recaps! They've been such a laughter for me!
Sarah, you'd be a pretty girl if you weren't so slutty acting. Ashley, if you'd take your implants out, stop wearing so much make-up and quit acting as if you're God's gift to EVERYBODY people might've liked you.. you're nothing but a sucka-foo chicken-head. Whitney, stop reppin' for a city you dont' live in, stop trying to make your Boston accent come out - it should just come naturally. Ailea, hope you get the psychological help you need... and I hope that you don't treat everyone you meet (in real life) like you did Cookie (Amber M.), you're also like Ashley... a sucka-foo chicken-head. Amber B., I hope you grow a backbone & stop letting those ugly guys treat you like shit. Cookie, coming from a person who has a bubbly personality like yours, you can't walk around acting like that ALL THE TIME - people just won't have it, so you need to learn when to draw the line (But you were so my favorite). Tiffany, I hope you learned from this show, not to 'pop off' on friends if they come to you with a serious subject, and I hope you learn that 'cliques' will always give you a bad name (doesn't matter what kind of person you are, if you're in a group *fab5* people will judge you as they do your 'friends'). Noah, I'm glad you wised up - even if it was at the end, I didn't like you at first - but after seeing what you had to say to Sarah, I changed my mind, you were an alright guy. Fazil, I have nothing to say to/about you. Kevin (Geezer dude), please don't talk to Ailea anymore - you're too 'sane' for that sucka-foo chicken-head!
I'm gonna miss the girls, as the lot of you are. They were fun to watch, and I'm glad I started watching BGC :)
And again, THANK YOU, CHERIE!!!
*sniffle*
9 of 13 | Posted by BGCFan_April | Posted on March 28, 2009 10:38 PM
cherie, congratulations on a season well done! your recaps are awesome and i looked foward to them after every vomit-inducing episode i watched. this was a pretty good episode that wrapped things up fairly well, but i'm dying to see the reunion tuesday nite. i really hope that perez calls aliea out for her desperate attempts to look like a bad-ass. whitney as well. how cool would it be if on the reunion midget took a cheap shot at her and threw some steaming hot chow-dah at her?
10 of 13 | Posted by jennylovesflowie623 | Posted on March 29, 2009 3:14 PM
Cherie!!! I'm just DYING to see your recap of the reunion show!!????
11 of 13 | Posted by DangerousD | Posted on April 1, 2009 8:31 PM
Are you going to recap the reunion??
12 of 13 | Posted by msjacqmills | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:48 AM
Yes I am working on it right now. Sorry its so late but all will be explained in time.
Smooches!
13 of 13 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on April 7, 2009 10:59 AM