Perez explains that there were two houseguests who had to leave just days before the end of the show because they were being shit taco bitches. He asks Sarah if it was bitter sweet for her to leave the house without Boston and Bait? She says no she was just sad about it because they were her friends and it sucked not to be able to share the whole thing with them.
Perez says to Amber that she was glad those bitches were gone. She admits that Bait bugged the shit out of her but she didn't have a problem with Boston until she started hanging and acting like Bait. So guess who they bring out? BRB I'm gonna need to visit
Mommy's happy pill bottle.
Out Bait and Boston come to semi applause, they hug and kiss Perez and hopefully he has health insurance. And then Perez, who I will now love eternally says to Bait, "It's nice to see you and your hair extensions."
Perez mentions that there is a long history of the girls not getting along. Sarah says its because we are really jealous. Then Tiff jumps in with "They are just so much hotter than I am I don't know what to do. I mean I wake up in the morning and want to look just like them." Since they were obviously joking Midget assumed it was safe to play and says "Thank you." To which Tiff angrily says "Bitch please!"
Perez wants to know why there was such a division. Uh because the Fucked Up Five suck ass. Oh he wasn't asking me. Sorry. Ugh. Boston says "they" secluded themselves. That "we had invited them to many things." Midget recalls no such invites. So braintrust then says, "We would sit in the house constantly and you guys would leave." Which is it chowder breath? Did you sit you ass at home and They left or did you invite them out and they wouldn't come? On second thought who the hell cares, GO AWAY.
Tiff jumps in with more incoherent jibberish. She says the Amber's had fun together and shakes her hair like she's making fun of them and then say "Just like they had fun together, so did we." Well I guess she told us. Oh and she says they all vibed together differently, the things that they would do she would never do. That I believe.
Midget says then why would you even invite us out and then call us dumb? Sarah says "First of all you are dumb because you are blond." They starts calling each other ridiculous and then Tiff starts throwing gummi bears at Midget but her aim sucks as much as her personality and she hits Perez. He picks one up and eats it.
Midget is laughing and throwing them back. The audience is laughing too. Then one of Tiff's alters takes over and she jumps up and throws a pillow at Midget. Who promptly throws it right back. Of course big bad Tiff says "Don't play with me Cookie. Don't fucking play with me." Midget tells her to calm down and Tiff says she can do whatever the fuck she wanna do. And then she tells her that she will "fuck her up." "On life."
Ya know I have gone back and forth with this pathetic excuse for a Bad Girl. And since right now I'm dealing with some real life shit that doesn't involve being disrespected by a gummi bear I think I'm gonna have to have a little rant here. Hey Tiff, pull the dead rat out of your ass, grow the fuck up, stop being obsessed with blond bitches since that seems to be your favorite insult as of late, and get the fuck over yourself. "Keeping it real" has nothing to do with constantly threatening to fuck someone up, on life on my daddy head! You have have had numerous chances to fuck up anyone you wanted to and never once have you actually done it. So basically, I break with thee. You suck.
To all my Gasmi readers I apologize. Cherie is having a bad day.
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Comments (16)
Cherie!!!
Loved the recap. I am sooo sad that BGC is over too. I lived for your blogs for the past few months. Congrats on the new addition! I am sure Midget will be honored that you named your new lil kitty after her.
I posted this recap over on the Oxy board, so you don't have to do it yourself this time...unless you wanna.
My favorite part is where you were talking about Sarah and how sleeping on a bed of turds would be no different than sleeping at her house. ROTFLMAO!!! I love you Cherie you always make me laugh. Midget said that she loved this recap and that you were "sp right on" about everything. I have to agree.
Well take care, and I hope you will still be the BGC recapper nevt season. Until then, I will continue to get my weekly dose of Cherie on the Kardashian recap.
Smooches,
Katie
1 of 16 | Posted by Wonder Girl | Posted on April 9, 2009 2:15 AM
Cherie, thanks to you I started watching a show I never thought I'd watch, and actually enjoyed it! Thanks for all the laughs!
SWAK, PottyMouth
2 of 16 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on April 9, 2009 3:41 AM
Cherie,
Love, love, love your recaps!! I didn't find out about them until later in the season but after reading the first one, I became hooked!!! I love your razor sharp wit and wicked sense of humor!! This season of BGC was kraaa zeee!! I stayed so pissed through most of it. Thanks so much for telling those crazy bitch ass bullies what I couldn't!! I LOVED the nics that you gave the girls--so dead on!! Midget was my favorite, she definitely shined over all of them. I loved that you named your new "baby" after her!! Thanks so much for adding so much fun to this season. I am now a life long fan!
Hugs & kisses,
Shout
3 of 16 | Posted by Shout Out | Posted on April 9, 2009 6:37 AM
I didn't really watch the season, only read the recaps, but it seemed like to me Tiff is bipolar or somethng. Sometimes she was so logical (esp at the beginning) and then other times she would make no sense and fly off the handle. It was really sad. I was so excited to see Amber is moving closer to Midget. I'm glad those two developed a real friendship, the friendship b/t the other girls seemd it was out of conveinence and dislike for the Ambers.
And what Perez said to Geezer Bait, LOL, how awesome.
4 of 16 | Posted by cansnuts | Posted on April 9, 2009 7:06 AM
OMG Cherie! You almost made me piss myself, once again, from laughter!
I'm gonna miss BGC, and hope to remember to come back for S4 (might need an email reminder, lol).
The new addition to your family is so CUTE! :) Makes me wanna go out and get a kitten ('coz I already have a weiner dog).
I can't pick a favorite part of your recap this time, 'coz it was ALL great! I loved it ALL! And I'm definatley gonna miss it, lots 'n shit!
Hope things look up for the better for you with your problems in real life - I know how that goes!
XOXO
-BGCFan_April
5 of 16 | Posted by BGCfan_April | Posted on April 9, 2009 8:37 AM
I enjoyed your recaps from the Bad Girls Club. These past two weeks I kept coming on here everyday to see if you had the reunion show done yet. I love your recaps ! They are hilarious and I enjoy the heck out of them.
I have read all of them and I have to say you are a comedic genuis. Sometimes I laughed so hard that my sides started to hurt. Good Job !
Thanks for your recaps again Cheri ! I am forever a fan of yours !
6 of 16 | Posted by candicanestealer | Posted on April 9, 2009 11:03 AM
When Perez Hilton thinks you are a pathetic lowlife whore, you really have hit rock bottom.
7 of 16 | Posted by VegasDarling | Posted on April 9, 2009 11:11 AM
Thanks again, Cherie! Enjoyed reading you this season and I hope you're back next season! You rock! :)
I enjoyed this recap, the kitten at the end was the icing on the cake! TOO CUTE! Glad you named her Midget as well.
Take care!
8 of 16 | Posted by prettydark | Posted on April 9, 2009 12:14 PM
Take care of yourself and your mom, Cherie
9 of 16 | Posted by deemarie | Posted on April 9, 2009 12:47 PM
Cherie-
LOVE your recaps, and I am so glad that you did one for the reunion... Can we discuss you taking on America's Next Top Model?
On a side note, I also loved how you too saw things from Cookies perspective that Tiffany may in fact be CeeCee....
Stop by the message board more, I'd love to see your comments there!
Sara
10 of 16 | Posted by Sara_Shark | Posted on April 9, 2009 1:30 PM
Thanks for the laughs!Amazing job recapping this season!
I was mad that no one called Bait out on how she told the cops that Boston was the one who beat up Midget. The fab five seemed to conveniently forget that ever happened.
11 of 16 | Posted by notcreative | Posted on April 9, 2009 2:49 PM
I'll miss your BGC recaps for sure, and (some of) these bad girls.
What's the deal with these girls going off on each other by yelling nonsensical, irrelevant stuff like, "You wear flip-flops! You and your damn Seventeen magazines! I hate your earrings!" (All right, I made some of that up.) Is it just Tiff or did they all do that?
Best wishes to you and your mom. Your kitty is adorable. I had a precious, cute lil kitten like her once who I called Gigi. She ended up being a 16 pound "large and in charge" type. LOL
12 of 16 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on April 9, 2009 8:23 PM
I actually felt bad for Ailea since I felt she was really honest about her feelings. I can understand that you can apologize for behavior and really feel you were right in your thinking.... I mean, things got out of hand in Mexico and PH was out of control for being such a dick to her. It was unnecessary and pitiful and he was only picking on her, cause he would have gotten his ass kicked by Tiff if he pulled that shit with her.
13 of 16 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on April 9, 2009 9:57 PM
Love the comment you made about Tiff talking to girls about anger management..and how Michael Vick will become the new dog whisperer..that was sheer genius !
14 of 16 | Posted by pyper | Posted on April 10, 2009 9:45 AM
I did NOT feel bad for Ailea when Perez bitched her out, he said everything I was thinking, I
15 of 16 | Posted by heykate7 | Posted on April 10, 2009 11:13 AM
I'm a little disappointed Perez didn't show Boston the footage of Ailea naming her when speaking to the police in Cancun. And I would have loved if they showed Boston the clip of her threatening someone with a shoe and then saying in Boston they only hit with their fists.
I'm also surprised that Perez, who normally makes a big deal about people smoking, didn't comment that perhaps the division in the BGC might have had something to do with the fact the Fab Five spent most of their time on the patio smoking while it seemed both Ambers were non-smokers and therefore not out there all the time. You got 5 girls huddled in a smoking area who like to talk trash, of course they are gonna talk about the girls who aren't out there to defend themselves. Wait a minute -I think that is the Kelly Bundy game, someone goes in the bathroom and while she is gone everyone talks badly about her.
Anyway I have truly enjoyed your recaps! I only discovered them halfway thru the season so I look forward to going back and reading them all - but you have really done an incredible job. I think the recaps are better than the actual show!
Good luck with your Mom and congrats on the new kitty!
16 of 16 | Posted by trixie | Posted on April 10, 2009 12:39 PM