On with the show. Trash decides to announce that this is why it's called the Bad Girls Club. Midget's response is to laugh and tell her she wasn't even bad enough to make the first cut of Bad Girls. Hahhahaha! Trash gets all pissed, jumps up and adjusts her jock strap and tells Midget to shut up you stupid bitch, and she throws a pillow at her.
So Perez enjoys another gummi bear and then intros the next set of clips of love. We start with the Amber Show! Starting with when Amber tells Midget maybe Geezer Dude is Bait's real Dad! Hahahaha. Then on to Tiff lying her ass off to Trashley by saying the Amber's started the division not them. On to everybody is tired of the Ambers and they can't take it anymore blah blah blah Bait has temper tantrums etc etc. Cut back to Perez singing "doo doo doo doo doo doo!" He asks the Ambers if they came up with The Amber Show to piss the other girls off?
Midget tries to say it was not to piss them off but Bait says that a couple of the shows she's seen seemed to be all about her. Midget says she was the one pissing them off at the time so that's why they were talking about her. She tells them that she's flattered that they would take time out of their day to talk about her. And she thanks them. Oh bless her she finally found the right dosage, or she's about to go postal and kill everyone there.
Amber tries to tell Bait that she never said much about her until Cancun and Sarah jumps in and says "Amber you said Kevin was her Dad!" Yeah we all heard that when it was shown like 3 seconds ago. Shut it squid lips.
Amber starts apologizing for hurting Bait and the rest of the girls and again I would sleep on a bed of turds (or at Sarah's house, same thing) before apologizing to any one of those hags. Perez notices that he hears a lot of sorrys coming from the Ambers but not so much from the infected side. Sarah and her mouth sores say "Because a Bad Girl doesn't apologize." Boston says she is sorry about what happened in Cancun and the way it went down.
Cut to scenes from Cancun. Midget dancing and having fun. Bait voice overs that Midget is making her so mad she just wants to smash her face in the ground. Hey dipshit, dancing ain't illegal anymore. Didn't you see Footloose? They show the whole sickening "beat down" and in between we see the faces of the idiots who claim they are sorry. Bait giggles when she sees that she did indeed grab Midget. Boston is grinning and so is Tiff and Sarah. Bait and Boston high five each other when the clip is over.
Tiff, Sarah and Trash don't think it was a big deal. Sarah says "It wasn't that bad." Perez is like "IT wasn't that bad? She was kicked several times, that's not bad?" Boston starts bullshitting about how Midget was throwing shoes and blah blah bullshit blah. She blithers on about some other shit and says it wasn't just "one on one." To which Perez says "You're right it was you guys ganging up on her." They all try to make excuses but Perez says the footage does not lie. Boston says it wasn't meant to be like that.
Midget snaps back that "what was is meant to be then? You attacked me!" Boston reverts to her usual vast vocabulary and yells "Shut the fuck up." Then she says that she had warned Midget earlier in the day that if she didn't stop poking at her she was gonna snap on her. Perez says "Just because you tell a bitch you are going to beat her up doesn't make it ok when you beat her up." Audience laughs like hell.
He then switches to Bait and asks if she feels bad. She says it is wrong to beat anyone up but nah she really doesn't give a shit. Midget asks her if she's embarrassed at all. Bait says no. Perez says "You should be."
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Comments (16)
Cherie!!!
Loved the recap. I am sooo sad that BGC is over too. I lived for your blogs for the past few months. Congrats on the new addition! I am sure Midget will be honored that you named your new lil kitty after her.
I posted this recap over on the Oxy board, so you don't have to do it yourself this time...unless you wanna.
My favorite part is where you were talking about Sarah and how sleeping on a bed of turds would be no different than sleeping at her house. ROTFLMAO!!! I love you Cherie you always make me laugh. Midget said that she loved this recap and that you were "sp right on" about everything. I have to agree.
Well take care, and I hope you will still be the BGC recapper nevt season. Until then, I will continue to get my weekly dose of Cherie on the Kardashian recap.
Smooches,
Katie
1 of 16 | Posted by Wonder Girl | Posted on April 9, 2009 2:15 AM
Cherie, thanks to you I started watching a show I never thought I'd watch, and actually enjoyed it! Thanks for all the laughs!
SWAK, PottyMouth
2 of 16 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on April 9, 2009 3:41 AM
Cherie,
Love, love, love your recaps!! I didn't find out about them until later in the season but after reading the first one, I became hooked!!! I love your razor sharp wit and wicked sense of humor!! This season of BGC was kraaa zeee!! I stayed so pissed through most of it. Thanks so much for telling those crazy bitch ass bullies what I couldn't!! I LOVED the nics that you gave the girls--so dead on!! Midget was my favorite, she definitely shined over all of them. I loved that you named your new "baby" after her!! Thanks so much for adding so much fun to this season. I am now a life long fan!
Hugs & kisses,
Shout
3 of 16 | Posted by Shout Out | Posted on April 9, 2009 6:37 AM
I didn't really watch the season, only read the recaps, but it seemed like to me Tiff is bipolar or somethng. Sometimes she was so logical (esp at the beginning) and then other times she would make no sense and fly off the handle. It was really sad. I was so excited to see Amber is moving closer to Midget. I'm glad those two developed a real friendship, the friendship b/t the other girls seemd it was out of conveinence and dislike for the Ambers.
And what Perez said to Geezer Bait, LOL, how awesome.
4 of 16 | Posted by cansnuts | Posted on April 9, 2009 7:06 AM
OMG Cherie! You almost made me piss myself, once again, from laughter!
I'm gonna miss BGC, and hope to remember to come back for S4 (might need an email reminder, lol).
The new addition to your family is so CUTE! :) Makes me wanna go out and get a kitten ('coz I already have a weiner dog).
I can't pick a favorite part of your recap this time, 'coz it was ALL great! I loved it ALL! And I'm definatley gonna miss it, lots 'n shit!
Hope things look up for the better for you with your problems in real life - I know how that goes!
XOXO
-BGCFan_April
5 of 16 | Posted by BGCfan_April | Posted on April 9, 2009 8:37 AM
I enjoyed your recaps from the Bad Girls Club. These past two weeks I kept coming on here everyday to see if you had the reunion show done yet. I love your recaps ! They are hilarious and I enjoy the heck out of them.
I have read all of them and I have to say you are a comedic genuis. Sometimes I laughed so hard that my sides started to hurt. Good Job !
Thanks for your recaps again Cheri ! I am forever a fan of yours !
6 of 16 | Posted by candicanestealer | Posted on April 9, 2009 11:03 AM
When Perez Hilton thinks you are a pathetic lowlife whore, you really have hit rock bottom.
7 of 16 | Posted by VegasDarling | Posted on April 9, 2009 11:11 AM
Thanks again, Cherie! Enjoyed reading you this season and I hope you're back next season! You rock! :)
I enjoyed this recap, the kitten at the end was the icing on the cake! TOO CUTE! Glad you named her Midget as well.
Take care!
8 of 16 | Posted by prettydark | Posted on April 9, 2009 12:14 PM
Take care of yourself and your mom, Cherie
9 of 16 | Posted by deemarie | Posted on April 9, 2009 12:47 PM
Cherie-
LOVE your recaps, and I am so glad that you did one for the reunion... Can we discuss you taking on America's Next Top Model?
On a side note, I also loved how you too saw things from Cookies perspective that Tiffany may in fact be CeeCee....
Stop by the message board more, I'd love to see your comments there!
Sara
10 of 16 | Posted by Sara_Shark | Posted on April 9, 2009 1:30 PM
Thanks for the laughs!Amazing job recapping this season!
I was mad that no one called Bait out on how she told the cops that Boston was the one who beat up Midget. The fab five seemed to conveniently forget that ever happened.
11 of 16 | Posted by notcreative | Posted on April 9, 2009 2:49 PM
I'll miss your BGC recaps for sure, and (some of) these bad girls.
What's the deal with these girls going off on each other by yelling nonsensical, irrelevant stuff like, "You wear flip-flops! You and your damn Seventeen magazines! I hate your earrings!" (All right, I made some of that up.) Is it just Tiff or did they all do that?
Best wishes to you and your mom. Your kitty is adorable. I had a precious, cute lil kitten like her once who I called Gigi. She ended up being a 16 pound "large and in charge" type. LOL
12 of 16 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on April 9, 2009 8:23 PM
I actually felt bad for Ailea since I felt she was really honest about her feelings. I can understand that you can apologize for behavior and really feel you were right in your thinking.... I mean, things got out of hand in Mexico and PH was out of control for being such a dick to her. It was unnecessary and pitiful and he was only picking on her, cause he would have gotten his ass kicked by Tiff if he pulled that shit with her.
13 of 16 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on April 9, 2009 9:57 PM
Love the comment you made about Tiff talking to girls about anger management..and how Michael Vick will become the new dog whisperer..that was sheer genius !
14 of 16 | Posted by pyper | Posted on April 10, 2009 9:45 AM
I did NOT feel bad for Ailea when Perez bitched her out, he said everything I was thinking, I
15 of 16 | Posted by heykate7 | Posted on April 10, 2009 11:13 AM
I'm a little disappointed Perez didn't show Boston the footage of Ailea naming her when speaking to the police in Cancun. And I would have loved if they showed Boston the clip of her threatening someone with a shoe and then saying in Boston they only hit with their fists.
I'm also surprised that Perez, who normally makes a big deal about people smoking, didn't comment that perhaps the division in the BGC might have had something to do with the fact the Fab Five spent most of their time on the patio smoking while it seemed both Ambers were non-smokers and therefore not out there all the time. You got 5 girls huddled in a smoking area who like to talk trash, of course they are gonna talk about the girls who aren't out there to defend themselves. Wait a minute -I think that is the Kelly Bundy game, someone goes in the bathroom and while she is gone everyone talks badly about her.
Anyway I have truly enjoyed your recaps! I only discovered them halfway thru the season so I look forward to going back and reading them all - but you have really done an incredible job. I think the recaps are better than the actual show!
Good luck with your Mom and congrats on the new kitty!
16 of 16 | Posted by trixie | Posted on April 10, 2009 12:39 PM