Perez asks Tiff why she and Kayla didn't mix and she mumbles a bunch of shit about being the same but different and then Perez calls her ass out for talking shit about Kayla at the photo shoot. Tiff's response? Yeah she was upset cause Kayla hooked up with "these two motherfuckers." Oh I see, we are in TiffWorld again where only she can decide who hangs out with who. Tiff says "Now you know that on any day you would choose to hang with me and not them so stop it." Uhh she chose to hang around the Amber's psycho. Get over it.
Perez changes the subject to Trashley's sugar daddy. She denies he was that. Perez reminds her that he bought her cement boobs. Out of no where Kayla says "He didn't like yo boobs so he gave you new ones bitch. That's what happened." LOLOLOL! And it's on. You are a bitch, you suck, I'll kick your ass. Perez gets the hell outta dodge as Kayla moves closer to Trash. Bitch bitch hate no man wants to date you. And then Trash throws what looks like a roll of toilet paper at Kayla and hits her and the shit hits the fan.
Security comes running, a bit slowly I might add. It takes a while to get everyone calmed down enough to continue and poor Perez looks like he may have pooped his pants a little.
They get them back in their seats but Kayla starts in with Trash again and finally Perez starts throwing gummi bears at them, to no avail. Perez jumps up and claps his hands in front of Kayla's face to try and get her to shut it. Trash is still yelling too. Perez tells them he doesn't want to have to kick anyone off. So now we move to talking about "hot ass."
I see Noah, Marcus, Fazil, and StubFace. Then we are treated to scenes from the past that I already had to live through once and refuse to post again. Kevin and Ailea sucking face. While Amber voice overs that it makes her puke to see them kiss. Then Bait with Fazil. Then Noah and Sarah. Then Sarah and the random dude from Cancun that didn't count because she used a condom.
Perez asks Bait how she went from shy girl to ho in 20 seconds and she blames the other girls. Kayla asks about Kevin. They tried to make it work but it just didn't. awww. Then Perez asks Fazil what he thinks of Bait after seeing the footage. He like most humans were grossed out. Would he date her again? He says they'd have to talk about it. Jeez.
Perez asks Amber how she felt about Bait being a big whore. LOL. She replies that she's not going to disrespect him but she just didn't think he and Bait were meant to be. Tiff already mumbled some shit about Amber already disrespecting him and then announces that Kevin was really nice and took Amber out to eat several times and she still talked about his ass. Shut the hell up already.
Up next is Sarah and Noah. Perez calls her on refusing to sleep with Noah yet doing the nasty with a random dude in Cancun. He does think random dude was hot though. Her dumb ass says "I know thanks!" Right in front of Noah.
Then Perez asks Noah what he thinks about Sarah being a dirty whore. He says he wasn't dating her. It sucked but he knew it would happen. Would he take her back? Yep.
I have such a headache right now.
Then we see Amber talking/breaking up with Scott. She did indeed go back to Pittsburgh and try to make it work with him but it didn't. Then we see scenes of Stubface and them not having sex. Ya know, the scene with the empty condom wrapper on the floor. Perez calls StubFace to come on stage. And sit in his lap.
First StubFace hugs Amber then Perez grabs him and seems to hold on to him a little too long. Then he tries to get him to take his shirt off. As he's trying to tell Perez what he thinks of the other girls he keeps shifting on Perez's lap and then decides he might better get off before he finds himself riding a human pogo stick.
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Comments (16)
Cherie!!!
Loved the recap. I am sooo sad that BGC is over too. I lived for your blogs for the past few months. Congrats on the new addition! I am sure Midget will be honored that you named your new lil kitty after her.
I posted this recap over on the Oxy board, so you don't have to do it yourself this time...unless you wanna.
My favorite part is where you were talking about Sarah and how sleeping on a bed of turds would be no different than sleeping at her house. ROTFLMAO!!! I love you Cherie you always make me laugh. Midget said that she loved this recap and that you were "sp right on" about everything. I have to agree.
Well take care, and I hope you will still be the BGC recapper nevt season. Until then, I will continue to get my weekly dose of Cherie on the Kardashian recap.
Smooches,
Katie
1 of 16 | Posted by Wonder Girl | Posted on April 9, 2009 2:15 AM
Cherie, thanks to you I started watching a show I never thought I'd watch, and actually enjoyed it! Thanks for all the laughs!
SWAK, PottyMouth
2 of 16 | Posted by PottyMouth | Posted on April 9, 2009 3:41 AM
Cherie,
Love, love, love your recaps!! I didn't find out about them until later in the season but after reading the first one, I became hooked!!! I love your razor sharp wit and wicked sense of humor!! This season of BGC was kraaa zeee!! I stayed so pissed through most of it. Thanks so much for telling those crazy bitch ass bullies what I couldn't!! I LOVED the nics that you gave the girls--so dead on!! Midget was my favorite, she definitely shined over all of them. I loved that you named your new "baby" after her!! Thanks so much for adding so much fun to this season. I am now a life long fan!
Hugs & kisses,
Shout
3 of 16 | Posted by Shout Out | Posted on April 9, 2009 6:37 AM
I didn't really watch the season, only read the recaps, but it seemed like to me Tiff is bipolar or somethng. Sometimes she was so logical (esp at the beginning) and then other times she would make no sense and fly off the handle. It was really sad. I was so excited to see Amber is moving closer to Midget. I'm glad those two developed a real friendship, the friendship b/t the other girls seemd it was out of conveinence and dislike for the Ambers.
And what Perez said to Geezer Bait, LOL, how awesome.
4 of 16 | Posted by cansnuts | Posted on April 9, 2009 7:06 AM
OMG Cherie! You almost made me piss myself, once again, from laughter!
I'm gonna miss BGC, and hope to remember to come back for S4 (might need an email reminder, lol).
The new addition to your family is so CUTE! :) Makes me wanna go out and get a kitten ('coz I already have a weiner dog).
I can't pick a favorite part of your recap this time, 'coz it was ALL great! I loved it ALL! And I'm definatley gonna miss it, lots 'n shit!
Hope things look up for the better for you with your problems in real life - I know how that goes!
XOXO
-BGCFan_April
5 of 16 | Posted by BGCfan_April | Posted on April 9, 2009 8:37 AM
I enjoyed your recaps from the Bad Girls Club. These past two weeks I kept coming on here everyday to see if you had the reunion show done yet. I love your recaps ! They are hilarious and I enjoy the heck out of them.
I have read all of them and I have to say you are a comedic genuis. Sometimes I laughed so hard that my sides started to hurt. Good Job !
Thanks for your recaps again Cheri ! I am forever a fan of yours !
6 of 16 | Posted by candicanestealer | Posted on April 9, 2009 11:03 AM
When Perez Hilton thinks you are a pathetic lowlife whore, you really have hit rock bottom.
7 of 16 | Posted by VegasDarling | Posted on April 9, 2009 11:11 AM
Thanks again, Cherie! Enjoyed reading you this season and I hope you're back next season! You rock! :)
I enjoyed this recap, the kitten at the end was the icing on the cake! TOO CUTE! Glad you named her Midget as well.
Take care!
8 of 16 | Posted by prettydark | Posted on April 9, 2009 12:14 PM
Take care of yourself and your mom, Cherie
9 of 16 | Posted by deemarie | Posted on April 9, 2009 12:47 PM
Cherie-
LOVE your recaps, and I am so glad that you did one for the reunion... Can we discuss you taking on America's Next Top Model?
On a side note, I also loved how you too saw things from Cookies perspective that Tiffany may in fact be CeeCee....
Stop by the message board more, I'd love to see your comments there!
Sara
10 of 16 | Posted by Sara_Shark | Posted on April 9, 2009 1:30 PM
Thanks for the laughs!Amazing job recapping this season!
I was mad that no one called Bait out on how she told the cops that Boston was the one who beat up Midget. The fab five seemed to conveniently forget that ever happened.
11 of 16 | Posted by notcreative | Posted on April 9, 2009 2:49 PM
I'll miss your BGC recaps for sure, and (some of) these bad girls.
What's the deal with these girls going off on each other by yelling nonsensical, irrelevant stuff like, "You wear flip-flops! You and your damn Seventeen magazines! I hate your earrings!" (All right, I made some of that up.) Is it just Tiff or did they all do that?
Best wishes to you and your mom. Your kitty is adorable. I had a precious, cute lil kitten like her once who I called Gigi. She ended up being a 16 pound "large and in charge" type. LOL
12 of 16 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on April 9, 2009 8:23 PM
I actually felt bad for Ailea since I felt she was really honest about her feelings. I can understand that you can apologize for behavior and really feel you were right in your thinking.... I mean, things got out of hand in Mexico and PH was out of control for being such a dick to her. It was unnecessary and pitiful and he was only picking on her, cause he would have gotten his ass kicked by Tiff if he pulled that shit with her.
13 of 16 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on April 9, 2009 9:57 PM
Love the comment you made about Tiff talking to girls about anger management..and how Michael Vick will become the new dog whisperer..that was sheer genius !
14 of 16 | Posted by pyper | Posted on April 10, 2009 9:45 AM
I did NOT feel bad for Ailea when Perez bitched her out, he said everything I was thinking, I
15 of 16 | Posted by heykate7 | Posted on April 10, 2009 11:13 AM
I'm a little disappointed Perez didn't show Boston the footage of Ailea naming her when speaking to the police in Cancun. And I would have loved if they showed Boston the clip of her threatening someone with a shoe and then saying in Boston they only hit with their fists.
I'm also surprised that Perez, who normally makes a big deal about people smoking, didn't comment that perhaps the division in the BGC might have had something to do with the fact the Fab Five spent most of their time on the patio smoking while it seemed both Ambers were non-smokers and therefore not out there all the time. You got 5 girls huddled in a smoking area who like to talk trash, of course they are gonna talk about the girls who aren't out there to defend themselves. Wait a minute -I think that is the Kelly Bundy game, someone goes in the bathroom and while she is gone everyone talks badly about her.
Anyway I have truly enjoyed your recaps! I only discovered them halfway thru the season so I look forward to going back and reading them all - but you have really done an incredible job. I think the recaps are better than the actual show!
Good luck with your Mom and congrats on the new kitty!
16 of 16 | Posted by trixie | Posted on April 10, 2009 12:39 PM