Before I begin, I'll just say this: I do follow the boards and yes, there was quite a bit of chatter regarding good old Tomik in last week's episode. Oh, I saw him. Twirling his drumsticks. Winking at the camera. Lord help me. I didn't catch him making out with Aimee, but maybe that's because I stop paying attention whenever he's anywhere near a camera. But anyway, for all those who require your Tomik fix, here you go...courtesy from me to you... it's T-T-T-Tomik! Your captain Tomik! (Don't say I never did anything for you)
Now with 20% more douche!
Ok. Now we can truly begin. But where did we leave off last? Oh right, the dramatic slashing of the wrists! Yes, DeAnn reaches for Zara's tattered wrists while Zara shrieks, "STOOOP!" But, interestingly enough, she doesn't really look that upset...in fact she's kind of smirking. Every time she holds up her hands over her face to cry, I suspect it's because she's getting ready to break into laughter. You can practically see the big yellow sign flashing over her head: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Yes, Zara is finally the Queen of Attention--all hail Dutchess Moron! But of course, DeAnn can't pick up that Zara's theatrics are merely for show so she repeatedly asks Zara why she cut herself. "I neeed to go hooome..." Zara wails over and over again. Yep, makes perfect sense, Zara. I do that too. Whenever I'm at work and I feel like going home, I just make a little gash with my steak knife and pray for the best. DeAnn is horrified and exclaims, "Her wrists are all torn up!" Uh...they are? You know, I realize this is supposed to be upsetting and all but let's not be melodramatic...these nicks are barely a step-up from a paper cut. They're not even bleeding, for god's sake. So you can put away your slutty nurse costume from the last episode, Joanna. Zara just might pull through.
Cigarette burn? Nope, suicide attempt!
Elsewhere in the house, Andrea stupidly wonders if Zara cut her wrists due to her unusually cruel denial of the cell phone. "Do you realize if you're really gonna do it, then you're gonna do it?" Andrea asks. No shit. I think we all know Zara didn't want to actually kill herself, so stop acting like you're dispensing some kind of ancient, little-known wisdom on us, Andrea. Just because you've got the same figure as him doesn't exactly make you Buddha. Anyway, she continues to babble about how alone Zara feels, in a very uncomplimentary angle, featuring her slouched in front of a plate of food as she shovels it in by the forkful. Attractive! Aimee, ever the kind, compassionate soul if there was one, can only respond in kind by yelling, "Bitches are fuckin' slittin' their wrists!" Oh, Aimee! Such a way with words! Bitches are slittin' their wrists, yo. She really should be writing Hallmark cards. Meanwhile, Jodie emerges from the shadows and begins to rapidly fire questions at Zara: "What's the problem? You can't be yourself here?" Actually, I don't think the problem isn't that Zara can't be herself. I think the problem is Zara is being herself-- it's just that nobody really likes who she is. Zara, failing miserably at securing any acting accolades, pretends to cry and says that everyone who has come into contact with her thus far, hates her. Cue the violins!
"Look how sad I am!"
In the house, Aimee and Andrea are still engaged in idiotic conversation. "If she's lookin' for someone to show her how to kill herself, I'll take her upstairs right now and do it!" Aimee declares. Who knew Aimee was such an advocate on assisted suicide? Somehow, that really doesn't surprise me. You could tell me that Aimee was Satan, Hitler and Sasquatch all rolled up into one and I'd just nod my head slowly and say, "That sounds about right." Andrea pretends to be shocked and puffs out her cheeks in what either is supposed to be outrage or just her normal look. We transition once again back outside to Zara, wrapped up in something that looks like a cross between a dirty straitjacket and a blanket, who is smiling and looking vindicated as she basks in the glory of all the attention that DeAnn and Jodie are bestowing on her. And just like that...drama's over.
Call me crazy, but I don't think people filled with helium should be smoking...
« IN-TER-ES-TING! | | Insane in the Wayne Brain »
Comments (5)
Steve is such a tool- but then again, everyone on this show is.
And really- what is the point of the two new girls- they got to spend like 2 weeks in the house? Exciting!
I keep watching, hoping for something good, but eh... it will all be over soon!
;>
1 of 5 | Posted by BunkitaSarita![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
|
Posted on April 20, 2007 11:02 AM
a man wearing a bandana 24/7 is the equivalent of a woman wearing a "wrap" over her lower half on a beach.
we're all 100% fooled.
really.
2 of 5 | Posted by k37744![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
|
Posted on April 20, 2007 11:36 AM
Ahh, another episode of the C-Word Club. DeAnn is such an idiot. Steve is just trying to get more airtime with his tired, romantic comedy cliche antics. Douche. Aimee is the worst person in the world. Her voice sounds like Satan getting an enema. Jodi still wears a hideous, un-Godly shade of lipstick. Andrea/Blowfish sucks. Funny recap!
3 of 5 | Posted by hanan5050![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
|
Posted on April 20, 2007 12:10 PM
Another lame episode, I think there are only 2 left. Thank the Lord, this is getting pathetic. I mean, me getting pathetic, watching this dumb ass girls, that are hardly bad.
Glad to see that Jodie just up and left these bitches. Now she can continue her hormone therapy and make the change he/she always wanted to.
I just hate Kerry. She's a self important no talent bitch. I'm glad Ripsi attacked her.
Speakign of Ripsi, looks like she may be back too. Line up those tequila shots and you better hide Kerry!
KH
4 of 5 | Posted by KatiesHole![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
|
Posted on April 20, 2007 2:41 PM
I agree, DeAnn is an idiot. She's got a kid at home and is on some reality show acting like a lovestruck 15 year old
5 of 5 | Posted by McCreamy![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
|
Posted on April 21, 2007 7:40 AM