This week on the Bad Girls Club.....the bitch is back y'all! I for one haven't been so happy to see a bitch since that time I pulled into Taco Bell and thought they were closed. Just as I began to wail Why God? WHY? an angel appeared in the window and took my order! God is good y'all. Enough about me, let's pop in on the Bad Girls Club!
We begin this week with a much happier more carefree house. Why you say? Let's see...maybe because Satan's niece Kayla has left the building! The girls are in the hot tub with bubbles and booze and laughter. Sarah tells us that yes indeed the house is much more relaxed without Miss DramaKayla in it. But she wonders how long it will last. I'm guessing praying not long.
Seriously. Stop farting!
More scenes of the girls half naked in the bubbles. Sarah playing with her buoy's that have seen a couple storms too many. Then Amber and Sarah jump out of the tub and they lay on the floor and act like they are swimming. Tiff and Boston grab their feet and drag them backwards yelling "Clean the floor". Got a feeling that floor has seen some germs that would eat through hardwood.
Midget tells us that she thinks they had another roommate before but she doesn't know where she went and she can't remember her name. Oh Midget. I don't blame ya girl. Revel in the quiet before the storm, cause storms they are a coming!
Tiff is on the phone with her Mom saying to call the National Guard and all her friends cause their new roommate is Tanisha! And we hear psycho stabbing music and we're shown scenes of Tanisha's rampages on the twits that came before. POP OFF! POP OFF! POP OFFFFFFFFF! Aww I have tears in my eyes, memories and all.
Tiff's Mom asks her if its going to be a problem? Tiff says she doesn't know yet. I do! I can guarantee there will be problems! Oh hell they are doing it again. Next we see..10 Hours Earlier.
Midget takes Amber outside. It seems she has a idea. An evil awful wonderful idea! She read online in the script that Tanisha will be appearing at a radio station nearby. Midget wants to go down there, break in and take over the show so that it becomes The Amber Show. Much squealing and jumping up and down ensue as Midget tells us she thinks it will be fun to go down there and show Tanisha who the new Bad Girls are. Oh Midget, it was nice knowing ya girl. You better hope she's eaten or you my lil' tard are a goner!
Off they go and Midget is saying how pissed Tanisha will be that they break in and take over. Then she says "We should ask her back to the mansion and ask her to be our new room mate". Amber gets chills at this and frankly so do I. Midget continues with "Do you think she'll do it?" and Amber replies "Yeah she probably has nothing better to do". Do I even have to say it? Shut up Amber!
Midget tells us that she assumes that another room mate is on the way but to play a prank on the girls and make them think Tanisha is the new room mate would be the best prank ever. I agree and I am in total denial about the fact that this couldn't be more scripted if it was Tom Cruise's wedding vows.
Back at the mansion Sarah is being her usual catty self. She tells Tiff that the Amber's are alienating themselves from the rest of them. Tiff says they are going to the store, the bank and to run errands but she agrees with Sarah and says she's getting pissed. Sarah tells us that the Ambers are always taking time out away from the others and she feels like they are doing something sneaky or they are talking shit. You know, like she's doing right now.
Speaking of talking shit, Ailea and Boston are at the computer. Ailea says she just doesn't want to see Amber's face. Not sure which Amber she means since she refuses to call the little one Midget and help a bitch out.
Across town at the station the girls have arrived and they've made signs. As I sit here shoving popcorn in my face the Amber's push the signs up to the window and catch Tanisha's attention.
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Comments (11)
I never comment for the Bad Girls Club but I HAD to just for the "Bad BJ Debacle".
First off, "fuck lips" are the wonderful way your lips look after a well executed blow job (think Angelina Jolie-esque). Something Midget will never see looking back at her in the mirror according to surfer Pat.
If any mediore "oral-pleasure-provider" is having the teeth problem here's a tip: simply use saliva to really lube things up and use the upper and lower lips as teeth guards. Should work until you master your style.
Midget's future victims, you're welcome.
1 of 11 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on January 24, 2009 3:35 PM
Now if I could just stop vomiting on the poor guys stomach...
I will never eat a Steak-Ummm or cheesesteak again. My bikini thanks you :)
2 of 11 | Posted by tadow | Posted on January 25, 2009 4:12 AM
Thank you for clarifying that uglycutie. Sadly since I have the lips of a chicken I will never know the wonder that is "fuck lips".
tadow-I have the same gag response as you.
So to sum up I have chicken lips and gag easily. Anyone wanna date?
3 of 11 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on January 25, 2009 7:22 PM
Amber B is beyond Proactiv. She'd be better off using a brillo pad.
I was shocked but not totally surprised that Midget *haha I thought I was the only one that called her that! :=p* slipped into that bathroom to nibble on the surfer's sensitive "board." After seeing so many pics of her biting asses or posing with her mouth open in front of anything resembling a wanker, I just assumed she was desensitized to it from doing it so much.
She's an adult.. although her frame and personality sometimes states otherwise.. but wow.. in a public bathroom? With him? Who you just met.. and played in fishy water with all day? :=x
I wasn't sure if I was grossed out for her, embarrassed for her, or wanted to laugh at her. Okay, I lied, I was all 3 but it took me a while to go through each of the motions. If it's not bad enough that she totally tried to snack on his snausage.. she suffered the embarrassment of being told she wasn't good on tv. HA!
What really got me is she wrote in a blog somewhere that she only kissed him. I see she has the same talent for rewriting history in her mind as Amber with the facial potholes does. You know, I don't care how much editing a show does, you can't make something out of nothing. Those two need to just embrace their inner sluts and just stop with the innocent act.
I love your recap style!!
4 of 11 | Posted by Case-Sensitive | Posted on January 26, 2009 9:08 AM
I would have also thought that Midget was a little better at the fellatial arts than she seemed to be with the surfer. I wasn't so much embarrassed for her, as much as it made me think that it really doesn't matter. Only women and gay men watch Oxygen (stereotype, yes, true, though, yes!), so apparently her potential suitors will have no idea about what a Sausage Eater she really is.
5 of 11 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on January 26, 2009 11:16 AM
You make me laugh! I love the pictures you post along with your captions! I mean the look on Whitney's face with the gummy bear, and then, "Have a gummy bear bitch!" Too funny! And then Geezerbaits face and, "I have poopy in my diapy! You are sooooo damn funny!
6 of 11 | Posted by badgirlamber | Posted on January 26, 2009 1:26 PM
LMAO at "Poopy in my diapy!"
I didn't know that boobs that roll to the side when you lie down are fake. I'm pretty sure it's the opposite.
7 of 11 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on January 27, 2009 8:04 AM
i thought sarah was saying "dick lips" and midget is by far my favorite! i like how she isnt scared of anyone in the house. and it took THREE girls to pull her back haha.
i dont think sarah has fake boobs. they're wayyy too saggy to be fake hah. but whitney definitely has fake boobs, you can tell when shes in a bathing suit, they just look bolted on. oh and i like how whitney and sarah got mad that amber pretty much said her naked pics were porn, when thats exactly what they are.
8 of 11 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on January 27, 2009 8:59 AM
midget is by far my favorite! i love how it took THREE girls to pull her back. she is vicious. and i thought sarah was saying "dick lips" i thought that would make more sense than fuck lips.
i dont think sarahs boobs are fake, theyre way too saggy. whitney, though, definitely has fake boobs. when shes in a bathing suit they just look bolted on to her. and sarah, sorry, but you posing naked, whether its for playboy, an all natural site or penthouse..ITS PORN
9 of 11 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on January 27, 2009 9:01 AM
It's not porn, it's "glamour modeling" ! :)
10 of 11 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on January 27, 2009 1:45 PM
It's definitely "Dick Lips". And yeah, it's when you give a BJ and your lips get like numb and a little swollen and red haha.
I don't see why midge is trying to deny doing anything, when she said herself in the confessional that she "apparently used her teeth"! She's funny though.. I like how even though she gave shitty head, she didn't seem embarrassed at all and actually just laughed at herself.
I hate how I'm always 1 ep behind everyone cause I watch On Demand!
11 of 11 | Posted by Lady_Ace | Posted on January 30, 2009 9:53 AM