Tanisha tells them they need to clean this place up. Its a shit hole. Tiff is biting her lip. Rule 2 don't touch her shit. Especially not Fluffers! She will cut your ass if you fuck with Fluffers. Rule 3 if ya got something to say say it. No back stabbing. And she directs that one at Amber who I think may have forgotten this is a prank also because she looks like she might shit her pants any second. Rule 4 and she points at Midget, "You got to tone it down boo. I am trying but you are pushing me. Can you tone it down so we can start off on the right foot here?" Midget nods her head yes. Tanisha yells at her "Bitch are you hearing me?" Causing Tiff to fall out laughing.
And then finally she says the most important rule of all....dum da dum dum...."Y'all bitches are crazy if you think I'm moving into this house!" And there's silence and Tiff makes this face..
Tanisha tells them they have been pranked and they all start screaming and Midget jumps on Tiff and gives her a lap dance. Tanisha explains that "These two blonde Playboy bitches planned this whole thing!"
Tiff is not amused. She tells us "You think you gonna prank me? You fuck with me, I will fuck with you 2 times harder". As Tanisha's leaving Sarah makes a comment about them pranking them and watching their backs and Tanisha says "Be easy on them. Aren't you glad you met me?" They say yes and she repeats for them to be easy on them. As she leaves I notice she has shoved her feet into the asses of two small puppies. Bad Tanisha!
Poor lil' puppies.
Tiff calls her Mom to tell it was all a prank. Then she tells us that since that was a prank she knows another new girl is coming and she's not sure how to deal with it. Where did my happy go lucky Tiff go? I think whatever evil was possessing Kayla is trying to steal my Tiff! Back away Satan! I rubuke you!
Anyhoodle, the next thing we see the girls are at a beach. Midget tells us they are going surfing and to meet lots of hot guys and "bounce up on it".
Jaws 5 : I Ain't Eatin' That.
Surfer dude Pat, comes up and asks them if they have surfed before and do they think they can get up? Midget offers that she can get most things up but she's not sure if she can get herself up. Uh oh, the batteries must be dead at the house cause Midget is on the prowl. Then surfer dude Pat shows them what to do and he's laying on the surf board and he says something about "long strokes" and Ailea says "Ooh I love long strokes baby." Excuse me, where's your daddy issue boyfriend?
I wanna see Nemo!
She keeps going after he says "you're gonna love to stroke the water" she says "you're gonna love to watch me...stroke...the water." Surfer dude is getting distracted. Its not everyday you get hit on by a horny beaver on a beach.
As the lesson goes on Amber tells a surfer dude that she's afraid of the water. Then Midget tells one dude to make her look good and fuck the other bitches. Like teach them how to fall.
I promise I won't bite.
Ailea hears this and makes a stink face. Everybody squeezes into their wetsuits and head for the water. Lots of almost surfing and busting ass and everybody looks like they are having fun. Amber trails off back to the water with one of the surfer dudes and this pisses Ailea off. She says "Look look she's all over him. I just want to throw something at her face."
Tiff tells us that they are supposed to be riding the waves not riding the surf instructors penis'. She says "This is what the Amber's are doing again. Its really getting on my nerves. I am tired of both of them."
Later back at the house there is a high pitched squeal and Sarah screams for everyone to come see her boobs. Uh we've all seen them. Get a grip. Oh oops, my bad. Her pictures are up on Playboys site. She's hopping up and down and screeching and my dog just ran under the bed. She tells us that Playboy is the Holy Grail of glamour modeling.
Everyone comes running and Tiff tells her she wants to see her vagina. Sarah screams no then scrolls down so everyone can indeed she her vagina.
She should see a doc about that.
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Comments (11)
I never comment for the Bad Girls Club but I HAD to just for the "Bad BJ Debacle".
First off, "fuck lips" are the wonderful way your lips look after a well executed blow job (think Angelina Jolie-esque). Something Midget will never see looking back at her in the mirror according to surfer Pat.
If any mediore "oral-pleasure-provider" is having the teeth problem here's a tip: simply use saliva to really lube things up and use the upper and lower lips as teeth guards. Should work until you master your style.
Midget's future victims, you're welcome.
1 of 11 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on January 24, 2009 3:35 PM
Now if I could just stop vomiting on the poor guys stomach...
I will never eat a Steak-Ummm or cheesesteak again. My bikini thanks you :)
2 of 11 | Posted by tadow | Posted on January 25, 2009 4:12 AM
Thank you for clarifying that uglycutie. Sadly since I have the lips of a chicken I will never know the wonder that is "fuck lips".
tadow-I have the same gag response as you.
So to sum up I have chicken lips and gag easily. Anyone wanna date?
3 of 11 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on January 25, 2009 7:22 PM
Amber B is beyond Proactiv. She'd be better off using a brillo pad.
I was shocked but not totally surprised that Midget *haha I thought I was the only one that called her that! :=p* slipped into that bathroom to nibble on the surfer's sensitive "board." After seeing so many pics of her biting asses or posing with her mouth open in front of anything resembling a wanker, I just assumed she was desensitized to it from doing it so much.
She's an adult.. although her frame and personality sometimes states otherwise.. but wow.. in a public bathroom? With him? Who you just met.. and played in fishy water with all day? :=x
I wasn't sure if I was grossed out for her, embarrassed for her, or wanted to laugh at her. Okay, I lied, I was all 3 but it took me a while to go through each of the motions. If it's not bad enough that she totally tried to snack on his snausage.. she suffered the embarrassment of being told she wasn't good on tv. HA!
What really got me is she wrote in a blog somewhere that she only kissed him. I see she has the same talent for rewriting history in her mind as Amber with the facial potholes does. You know, I don't care how much editing a show does, you can't make something out of nothing. Those two need to just embrace their inner sluts and just stop with the innocent act.
I love your recap style!!
4 of 11 | Posted by Case-Sensitive | Posted on January 26, 2009 9:08 AM
I would have also thought that Midget was a little better at the fellatial arts than she seemed to be with the surfer. I wasn't so much embarrassed for her, as much as it made me think that it really doesn't matter. Only women and gay men watch Oxygen (stereotype, yes, true, though, yes!), so apparently her potential suitors will have no idea about what a Sausage Eater she really is.
5 of 11 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on January 26, 2009 11:16 AM
You make me laugh! I love the pictures you post along with your captions! I mean the look on Whitney's face with the gummy bear, and then, "Have a gummy bear bitch!" Too funny! And then Geezerbaits face and, "I have poopy in my diapy! You are sooooo damn funny!
6 of 11 | Posted by badgirlamber | Posted on January 26, 2009 1:26 PM
LMAO at "Poopy in my diapy!"
I didn't know that boobs that roll to the side when you lie down are fake. I'm pretty sure it's the opposite.
7 of 11 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on January 27, 2009 8:04 AM
i thought sarah was saying "dick lips" and midget is by far my favorite! i like how she isnt scared of anyone in the house. and it took THREE girls to pull her back haha.
i dont think sarah has fake boobs. they're wayyy too saggy to be fake hah. but whitney definitely has fake boobs, you can tell when shes in a bathing suit, they just look bolted on. oh and i like how whitney and sarah got mad that amber pretty much said her naked pics were porn, when thats exactly what they are.
8 of 11 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on January 27, 2009 8:59 AM
midget is by far my favorite! i love how it took THREE girls to pull her back. she is vicious. and i thought sarah was saying "dick lips" i thought that would make more sense than fuck lips.
i dont think sarahs boobs are fake, theyre way too saggy. whitney, though, definitely has fake boobs. when shes in a bathing suit they just look bolted on to her. and sarah, sorry, but you posing naked, whether its for playboy, an all natural site or penthouse..ITS PORN
9 of 11 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on January 27, 2009 9:01 AM
It's not porn, it's "glamour modeling" ! :)
10 of 11 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on January 27, 2009 1:45 PM
It's definitely "Dick Lips". And yeah, it's when you give a BJ and your lips get like numb and a little swollen and red haha.
I don't see why midge is trying to deny doing anything, when she said herself in the confessional that she "apparently used her teeth"! She's funny though.. I like how even though she gave shitty head, she didn't seem embarrassed at all and actually just laughed at herself.
I hate how I'm always 1 ep behind everyone cause I watch On Demand!
11 of 11 | Posted by Lady_Ace | Posted on January 30, 2009 9:53 AM