Tiff reads from the site about Sarah's natural big boobs and Amber looks like she smells feet. Amber tells us in a whiny, jealous and totally catty way(completely unlike how I talk) that Sarah has breast implants and she's a huge ass liar!
She can prove it too. When Sarah lays down her boobs fall to the side. Aha! Wait huh? Mine fall to the side. Last night one fell to the side and rolled off the bed. Mine are real. Tragically real. What the hell is her point? Oh yeah, she's jealous and irritating. Point taken. Now shut it. What does it matter if they are fake? Its 2009! Lots of people have fake boobs.
Guess which one is flipit?
Telephone! Boston answers and guess who? KAYLA! Boston acts happy to hear from her and then Kayla starts rambling about black helicopters and spider monkeys hanging from the ceiling. She also says she's glad to be back home so she can go in her bathroom and smoke her blunts. You go girl! More rambling about how she's over it but she's bitter but she doesn't want to talk about it zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Do y'all bitches miss me?
Boston tells us she doesn't want to talk to Kayla and makes hand gestures like yapping and she says she cannot take this girl. Kayla says her friend who lives on the moon is signaling her and she has to go hook up the whohoozle to the flimflazzle so she can beam herself up. Bye Kayla.
Redrum........redrum....
So the girls gather round to discuss the sleeping situation. Since there is another girl coming in and the house vibe will change they need to make some decisions. What? New girl comes in, fumigate Kaylas bed and stick her in it. Whats the problem? The problem it seems is that Sarah doesn't want the Amber's to room together. She is afraid it will cause a division in the house. Sarah explains to us that if they have their own room then there is no reason for the other girls to be able to walk up on them and "catch them in the act" of whispering to each other. Okie dokie nutbag.
Midget tells us that the other girls see this as a division and she just doesn't see it. She's not all about just hanging out with Amber. She just likes her the most. Oh Midget.
The Amber's then are shown discussing Sarah's reasons for not wanting the two to share a room. Midget says she doesn't want them to get closer. Amber says if Sarah was really close to one girl she'd probably want to be with her too but since she's not she mumble mumble mumble "I think it goes back to a huge jealousy issue." She then tells us that she thinks the other girls would be happy if they just crawled under their beds and hide all day. Hey, while you are under there how bout picking up that used condom wrapper that you claim Stubface didn't use.
Product placement at its finest.
Off they go to Cabo Cantina! Amber says she is not satisfied with LA until she finds some hot men. Inside Tiff is saying that they are a house full of females and they are sex deprived. Ailea then tells about the "sex vending machine that makes everything better". And if it doesn't she calls her daddy issue boyfriend and he tells her stories so she can take a nappy.
The two Amber's pair off and go outside. Tiff gets pissed and says "Where the hell are they going?" Outside the Amber's are looking for fresh meat in the cars that pass by. Amber says they are all ugly. Then realizes she is seeing her own reflection in the windows. Sarah joins them and immediately Amber says "Sarah, show your tits. Sarah says no! Amber says "Sarah all people have to do is type your name and they'll find them online".
Off Sarah goes in a huff to tell Boston what just happened. Boston feeds the fire by saying Amber was trying to make her look like a porn star. Sarah agrees. Boston wants to go tell Tiff. WTF? OK Oxygen, on the scripted fight scale..lame.
Sarah tells us she is "so pissed right now. Who the hell does Amber think she is? They're my boobs I'll show them when I want." Cut to Boston snitching to Tiff like she's the warden...wait a second. That's what they labeled her as in the first episode. Clever.
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Comments (11)
I never comment for the Bad Girls Club but I HAD to just for the "Bad BJ Debacle".
First off, "fuck lips" are the wonderful way your lips look after a well executed blow job (think Angelina Jolie-esque). Something Midget will never see looking back at her in the mirror according to surfer Pat.
If any mediore "oral-pleasure-provider" is having the teeth problem here's a tip: simply use saliva to really lube things up and use the upper and lower lips as teeth guards. Should work until you master your style.
Midget's future victims, you're welcome.
1 of 11 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on January 24, 2009 3:35 PM
Now if I could just stop vomiting on the poor guys stomach...
I will never eat a Steak-Ummm or cheesesteak again. My bikini thanks you :)
2 of 11 | Posted by tadow | Posted on January 25, 2009 4:12 AM
Thank you for clarifying that uglycutie. Sadly since I have the lips of a chicken I will never know the wonder that is "fuck lips".
tadow-I have the same gag response as you.
So to sum up I have chicken lips and gag easily. Anyone wanna date?
3 of 11 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on January 25, 2009 7:22 PM
Amber B is beyond Proactiv. She'd be better off using a brillo pad.
I was shocked but not totally surprised that Midget *haha I thought I was the only one that called her that! :=p* slipped into that bathroom to nibble on the surfer's sensitive "board." After seeing so many pics of her biting asses or posing with her mouth open in front of anything resembling a wanker, I just assumed she was desensitized to it from doing it so much.
She's an adult.. although her frame and personality sometimes states otherwise.. but wow.. in a public bathroom? With him? Who you just met.. and played in fishy water with all day? :=x
I wasn't sure if I was grossed out for her, embarrassed for her, or wanted to laugh at her. Okay, I lied, I was all 3 but it took me a while to go through each of the motions. If it's not bad enough that she totally tried to snack on his snausage.. she suffered the embarrassment of being told she wasn't good on tv. HA!
What really got me is she wrote in a blog somewhere that she only kissed him. I see she has the same talent for rewriting history in her mind as Amber with the facial potholes does. You know, I don't care how much editing a show does, you can't make something out of nothing. Those two need to just embrace their inner sluts and just stop with the innocent act.
I love your recap style!!
4 of 11 | Posted by Case-Sensitive | Posted on January 26, 2009 9:08 AM
I would have also thought that Midget was a little better at the fellatial arts than she seemed to be with the surfer. I wasn't so much embarrassed for her, as much as it made me think that it really doesn't matter. Only women and gay men watch Oxygen (stereotype, yes, true, though, yes!), so apparently her potential suitors will have no idea about what a Sausage Eater she really is.
5 of 11 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on January 26, 2009 11:16 AM
You make me laugh! I love the pictures you post along with your captions! I mean the look on Whitney's face with the gummy bear, and then, "Have a gummy bear bitch!" Too funny! And then Geezerbaits face and, "I have poopy in my diapy! You are sooooo damn funny!
6 of 11 | Posted by badgirlamber | Posted on January 26, 2009 1:26 PM
LMAO at "Poopy in my diapy!"
I didn't know that boobs that roll to the side when you lie down are fake. I'm pretty sure it's the opposite.
7 of 11 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on January 27, 2009 8:04 AM
i thought sarah was saying "dick lips" and midget is by far my favorite! i like how she isnt scared of anyone in the house. and it took THREE girls to pull her back haha.
i dont think sarah has fake boobs. they're wayyy too saggy to be fake hah. but whitney definitely has fake boobs, you can tell when shes in a bathing suit, they just look bolted on. oh and i like how whitney and sarah got mad that amber pretty much said her naked pics were porn, when thats exactly what they are.
8 of 11 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on January 27, 2009 8:59 AM
midget is by far my favorite! i love how it took THREE girls to pull her back. she is vicious. and i thought sarah was saying "dick lips" i thought that would make more sense than fuck lips.
i dont think sarahs boobs are fake, theyre way too saggy. whitney, though, definitely has fake boobs. when shes in a bathing suit they just look bolted on to her. and sarah, sorry, but you posing naked, whether its for playboy, an all natural site or penthouse..ITS PORN
9 of 11 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on January 27, 2009 9:01 AM
It's not porn, it's "glamour modeling" ! :)
10 of 11 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on January 27, 2009 1:45 PM
It's definitely "Dick Lips". And yeah, it's when you give a BJ and your lips get like numb and a little swollen and red haha.
I don't see why midge is trying to deny doing anything, when she said herself in the confessional that she "apparently used her teeth"! She's funny though.. I like how even though she gave shitty head, she didn't seem embarrassed at all and actually just laughed at herself.
I hate how I'm always 1 ep behind everyone cause I watch On Demand!
11 of 11 | Posted by Lady_Ace | Posted on January 30, 2009 9:53 AM