Amber goes out to talk to Sarah who tells her that her comment pissed her off and that Proactive really works. Amber apologizes and says "I think before I say". Sarah corrects her and says "You say before you think." Sarah then tells us that Amber is a cumbag whore. And she's tired of her lame ass excuses.
Smell my finger.
The next day the Amber's are getting ready to go out and Sarah, Ailea, and Tiff are talking about them. Ailea says there's a line being drawn. And she holds up her coloring book to show them. Tiff says she thinks they just like going out just the two of them. Ailea says that makes a division and Tiff says they choose to do that to themselves. As the Amber's are leaving Ailea yells out "Bye Amber's have a great time!"
In the car Amber says Sarah keeps giving her dirty looks. She tells Midget that even when the Amber's are doing the exact same thing Sarah only gives her a dirty look. And she says its because "her jealousy is like, sick."
Back at the house Ailea is bitching because she can't find her "juicies". I am not kidding. She calls her juice box's juicies. Some of them are missing and she just knows the Ambers did it. Cut to the Amber's out eating and talking about how they are glad they are eating out so that the girls can't get mad at them for eating their food.
Sarah is on the phone with her friend bitching about Amber and saying she's gonna let loose she just doesn't know when. Her friend tells her to stick lunch meat under Amber's bed. Man oh man, they should get her as the new bad girl! That bitch is hard core!
Sarah then goes and whines to Tiff about her struggle to either be civil to Amber or fuck her world up. Tiff once again becomes the voice of reason and tells her to try the positive route and if that doesn't work then settle it her type of way.She also says that Amber has a lot of insecurities about herself and that's why she makes the comments that she does.
The girls head off for a night at Nikki's where Sarah, Midget and Ailea will be bartending.
Lots of drinks are served and we see Amber off in her own little world of booze. She's drinking and dancing. With everyone. And anyone. Boston tells us that Amber will "pretty much go for anything that has a pulse and its nasty." Oh please, don't be acting all high and mighty. There's a time in every girls life when even a pulse is optional. Right? Anyone? Oh sure I'm the only one!
More scenes of Amber grinding on dudes and trying to suck a straw at the same time. Multitasking is not her thing.
Amber staggers off somewhere and we see Midget talking to surfer dude Pat. They chit chat back and forth with more talk about "getting it up". He says something about getting tossed and Midget replies that she too likes getting tossed sometimes. Oh Lord just go blow the dude already. Well I'll be damned. Midget takes the dude to the bathroom. Tiff and Boston are wondering where she is. Cut back to the bathroom door where we hear sounds....sounds of.......was that a slurp? Then a giggle and Midget says "sorry". And we hear a zipper.
Hahahahahaha! Midget tells us in confessional that she was trying to give the dude a blow job and apparently she used her teeth. Oops. I hate when that happens. Bad Midget! Blow jobs in the bathroom! That is just WRONG! Now go sit on the naughty stool Midget until I tell you you can get up. And brush your teeth. With bleach!
When the other girls realize she was in the bathroom with surfer dude Sarah accuses her of having "fuck lips". Note to self-next time look in mirror immediately after to see what the hell "fuck lips" look like.
Fuck lips.
Midget denies having "fuck lips" and asks surfer dude. He says "Maybe" causing Sarah to squeal. Midget says "It felt good didn't it?" and surfer dude said "For me not so much."
Outside Boston finds Amber laying on the floor of the limo, drunk off her ass. Boston pulls her up and she falls out the door puking. Oh gross. I'm gonna barf. Eew! Ok enough with the barf sounds! Tiff says thats why she stopped drinking. I stop when the bottle's empty.
Have a gummy bear bitch.
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Comments (11)
I never comment for the Bad Girls Club but I HAD to just for the "Bad BJ Debacle".
First off, "fuck lips" are the wonderful way your lips look after a well executed blow job (think Angelina Jolie-esque). Something Midget will never see looking back at her in the mirror according to surfer Pat.
If any mediore "oral-pleasure-provider" is having the teeth problem here's a tip: simply use saliva to really lube things up and use the upper and lower lips as teeth guards. Should work until you master your style.
Midget's future victims, you're welcome.
1 of 11 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on January 24, 2009 3:35 PM
Now if I could just stop vomiting on the poor guys stomach...
I will never eat a Steak-Ummm or cheesesteak again. My bikini thanks you :)
2 of 11 | Posted by tadow | Posted on January 25, 2009 4:12 AM
Thank you for clarifying that uglycutie. Sadly since I have the lips of a chicken I will never know the wonder that is "fuck lips".
tadow-I have the same gag response as you.
So to sum up I have chicken lips and gag easily. Anyone wanna date?
3 of 11 | Posted by Cherie | Posted on January 25, 2009 7:22 PM
Amber B is beyond Proactiv. She'd be better off using a brillo pad.
I was shocked but not totally surprised that Midget *haha I thought I was the only one that called her that! :=p* slipped into that bathroom to nibble on the surfer's sensitive "board." After seeing so many pics of her biting asses or posing with her mouth open in front of anything resembling a wanker, I just assumed she was desensitized to it from doing it so much.
She's an adult.. although her frame and personality sometimes states otherwise.. but wow.. in a public bathroom? With him? Who you just met.. and played in fishy water with all day? :=x
I wasn't sure if I was grossed out for her, embarrassed for her, or wanted to laugh at her. Okay, I lied, I was all 3 but it took me a while to go through each of the motions. If it's not bad enough that she totally tried to snack on his snausage.. she suffered the embarrassment of being told she wasn't good on tv. HA!
What really got me is she wrote in a blog somewhere that she only kissed him. I see she has the same talent for rewriting history in her mind as Amber with the facial potholes does. You know, I don't care how much editing a show does, you can't make something out of nothing. Those two need to just embrace their inner sluts and just stop with the innocent act.
I love your recap style!!
4 of 11 | Posted by Case-Sensitive | Posted on January 26, 2009 9:08 AM
I would have also thought that Midget was a little better at the fellatial arts than she seemed to be with the surfer. I wasn't so much embarrassed for her, as much as it made me think that it really doesn't matter. Only women and gay men watch Oxygen (stereotype, yes, true, though, yes!), so apparently her potential suitors will have no idea about what a Sausage Eater she really is.
5 of 11 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on January 26, 2009 11:16 AM
You make me laugh! I love the pictures you post along with your captions! I mean the look on Whitney's face with the gummy bear, and then, "Have a gummy bear bitch!" Too funny! And then Geezerbaits face and, "I have poopy in my diapy! You are sooooo damn funny!
6 of 11 | Posted by badgirlamber | Posted on January 26, 2009 1:26 PM
LMAO at "Poopy in my diapy!"
I didn't know that boobs that roll to the side when you lie down are fake. I'm pretty sure it's the opposite.
7 of 11 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on January 27, 2009 8:04 AM
i thought sarah was saying "dick lips" and midget is by far my favorite! i like how she isnt scared of anyone in the house. and it took THREE girls to pull her back haha.
i dont think sarah has fake boobs. they're wayyy too saggy to be fake hah. but whitney definitely has fake boobs, you can tell when shes in a bathing suit, they just look bolted on. oh and i like how whitney and sarah got mad that amber pretty much said her naked pics were porn, when thats exactly what they are.
8 of 11 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on January 27, 2009 8:59 AM
midget is by far my favorite! i love how it took THREE girls to pull her back. she is vicious. and i thought sarah was saying "dick lips" i thought that would make more sense than fuck lips.
i dont think sarahs boobs are fake, theyre way too saggy. whitney, though, definitely has fake boobs. when shes in a bathing suit they just look bolted on to her. and sarah, sorry, but you posing naked, whether its for playboy, an all natural site or penthouse..ITS PORN
9 of 11 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on January 27, 2009 9:01 AM
It's not porn, it's "glamour modeling" ! :)
10 of 11 | Posted by rubinia | Posted on January 27, 2009 1:45 PM
It's definitely "Dick Lips". And yeah, it's when you give a BJ and your lips get like numb and a little swollen and red haha.
I don't see why midge is trying to deny doing anything, when she said herself in the confessional that she "apparently used her teeth"! She's funny though.. I like how even though she gave shitty head, she didn't seem embarrassed at all and actually just laughed at herself.
I hate how I'm always 1 ep behind everyone cause I watch On Demand!
11 of 11 | Posted by Lady_Ace | Posted on January 30, 2009 9:53 AM