Beauty and the Geek

May 9, 2008

Beauty and the Geek: Cabin Fever (Now With Deflowerings and Snowballing!)

To many Californians, a trip to Big Bear is either 1. mandatory by order of parents or 2. mandatory by order of school field trip. But not for the Dorks and the Bitches; in fact, for them, having the CW send them off to Big Bear is like witnessing the reformation of The Beatles, or seeing God, or tripping out on some gooey Jenkem. Elation aside, one can only wonder WHO WILL DIE UNDER AN AVALANCHE? WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN AN EPISODE WHEN FACTORING IN VERY COLD WEATHER CONDITIONS?! WHERE AM I GOING TO FIT IN THE WORD "SNOWBALLING" IN A SEXUAL CONTEXT IN THIS ENTIRE RECAP!?!!?!?!?

Jessie Spano-grade Excitement

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April 23, 2008

Beauty and the Geek: Everyone's Fired!!!

Last week's Jenny Jones-esque makeover episode made for some great TV, but the CW brought us back to boring ol' competition grounds near the end, leaving us at a cliffhanger where the 4 remaining Dorks and Bitches had to choose who to send to the ominously named "ELIMINATION ROOM." Sending Cowboy Joe and his ho to the chopping block this week seemed long overdue, and sort of compensated this season's lost momentum, but this week (thanks to drama, dracula, fire, AND GHOSTS) things pick up to Michael Bay-grade epicness!

"Is that a mold in your pocket or are you ha-- ...oh it is? Awesome."

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April 14, 2008

Beauty and the Geek: The Dorks and the Restless

Now that the Dorks and the Whores are coupled up, game dynamics are changing faster than the group's collective vocabulary --

Amanduh: "The girls and I wanted Jim to come back. That was the census."

Cuntcensus.

Take out your nail polish remover and start defragging your brain -- this week's Beauty and the Geek includes a MAKEOVER!!! Never seen one of those before, amiright!? AMIRIGHT!?

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April 7, 2008

Beauty and the Geek: The Laws of Boners and Eggs

To many, deciding "Of these two geeks, which one would I rather live with?" is sort of like having to decide between eating shit or going to Wendy's for lunch. For "Beauty" Tara, it's like deciding which parent you have to kill in order to survive in a bomb shelter without any food. This is Beauty and the Geek, and quite possibly the craziest hour in television since the Frost/Nixon interview. CW, anyone?

"I lack character."

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March 31, 2008

Beauty and the Geek: Balls, Boobs, and Bone Breaks

Previously on Beauty and the Geek the girls try to decide who they should sacrifice.

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...a virgin? Good luck.

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May 9, 2008:Beauty and the Geek: Cabin Fever (Now With Deflowerings and Snowballing!)
April 23, 2008:Beauty and the Geek: Everyone's Fired!!!
April 14, 2008:Beauty and the Geek: The Dorks and the Restless
April 7, 2008:Beauty and the Geek: The Laws of Boners and Eggs
March 31, 2008:Beauty and the Geek: Balls, Boobs, and Bone Breaks
March 24, 2008:Beauty and the Geek: Snooty and the Freaks (See what I Did There?)
March 16, 2008:Beauty and the Geek: Personally Yours
December 11, 2007:Beauty and the Geek: Cliff Hangers Are For Suckers
November 30, 2007:Beauty and the Geek: Welcome To My World
November 25, 2007:Beauty and the Geek: Merl-ughh
November 16, 2007:Beauty and the Geek: Arachnaphobic Says What?
November 11, 2007:Beauty and the Geek: Los Besos Y Las Danzas
October 28, 2007:Beauty and the Geek: Project Superhero
October 17, 2007:Beauty and the Geek: From Geek To Gay... Or At Least Metrosexual
October 10, 2007:Beauty and the Geek: I'm With Stupid
September 27, 2007:Beauty and the Geek: What A Waste of $8,000
September 19, 2007:Which Is Worse: Backne or Idiocy?
February 15, 2007:Recap: Beauty & The Geek: All's Well That Ends Well
February 8, 2007:Recap: Beauty & The Geek: Save A Whore, Ride A Cowboy
February 1, 2007:Recap: Beauty and the Geek: Just Give Me Your Goddamn Number!
January 25, 2007:Recap: Beauty and the Geek: The Wrath of Cecille
January 18, 2007:Recap: Beauty and the Geek: A Geeky Makeover Story
January 11, 2007:Clipgasm: Beauty and the Geek Nip Slip Edition
:Nip Slip Alert! The CW Lets One By!
:Recap: Beauty and the Geek: The In Crowd
January 4, 2007:Recap: Beauty and the Geek: Scooters for Everyone!
August 1, 2006:It Could Happen To You...
March 13, 2006:Innocence Lost
March 6, 2006:Scavenger Hunt By Numbers
February 20, 2006:Project Runaway
February 13, 2006:All Treasure Trails Lead To Vegas
February 6, 2006:He Puts The "Good" In "Goodbye"
February 3, 2006:Beauty and the Bowl
January 30, 2006:No Room at the Inn.
January 23, 2006:The Imperfect Storm
January 15, 2006:A Geek By Any Other Name...
January 4, 2006:No Brains + No Sex = Great TV
August 29, 2005:This Could Be You!
July 7, 2005:The Fantastic Four
July 1, 2005:Extra! Extra!
June 30, 2005:B-Side Scares Geek, Laughs
June 28, 2005:It's A Date!
June 16, 2005:Butt Seriously, Folks...
June 10, 2005:The Extras Next Door
:Beauty and the Blog
June 9, 2005:Deep Issue Massage
June 2, 2005:Extreme Makeovers