Before going to bed, Tara knew she didn't want to sleep with partner Cowboy Joe in the same bed, so she created a Berlin Wall of sorts on their mattress. This, like most things the world, upset Joe again.
"MS. TARA, TEAR. DOWN. THIS. WALL!!!!"
Oh god, I made that Berlin Wall pun just before Cowboy Joe called it the Iron Curtain.
There is something dreadfully wrong with that. I am becoming them. I am becoming them. I am becomMOM CLOSE THE FREAKIN' DOOR, GOSH!!!
The next day...
The Challenge is announced. It's quite complicated, so bear with me.
- There are a bunch of snowmen, totally lodged with a bunch of construction tools. The men will standby their snowman stations to send over tools the women have to explicitly ask for, one by one to create...
- ... a sled the women will have to construct in their own building stations. Knowledge of tool names is essential to make the build speedy.
- Once the sled is built, the partners must to up a slope and ride down their (likely) poorly constructed. If they fall, they lose. First couple who makes it to the finish line wins!
The entire challenge is just a MESS; the Bitches don't know names of tools, and they're having their Dork partners run up and down to their tool stations wondering what the fuck these girls are asking for. It's a slow process, and you start feeling for the geeks who, like Cokebottle, are wearing really big pants during this challenge.
"NO, GET THE RED SCREWY THING THAT LOOKS LIKE A BLACK STICK WITH THE THINGIES AT THE END!!!!! HURRY!!!!"
Just watching it is painful.
The Bitches are struggling just as much in their cherry popping of building something from scratch.
"Suck my balls, Bob Vila."
I believe the last time I've ever seen anyone work so hard on their knees, a Clinton was in office. HEY-YO!
Christina and BuffGeek were the first to build their sled, and after their exhausting hike up, they careened super fast down the snowy hill...
"Please don't pull a Sonny Bono please don't pull a Sonny Bono please don't pull a Sonny Bono..."
...only to be stopped in their tracks! They must completely restart the hike and give it another go before being declared the winners.
"FUCK."
Their second attempt failed, and meant a third run for Christina and BuffGeek. Little did they know that Tara and her geek were right on their tails.
But they fell and failed, too.
"DOUBLE FUCK."
Then Sweatervest and Amanda go up.
First attempt and they WIN.
Back at the lodge...
Host Mike announces that the couple who goes home will be decided in a Survivor-esque vote. A first in the season, and a MASSIVE upset for the gang. In the result of a tie, Sweatervest and Amanda are the tie-breaking vote.
The bonds made new during this field trip have proven to contaminate everyone's reasons in their voting decisions. Personal feelings are getting really muddy in the mix of the game, and there's absolutely no way of finding out who'll be the couple to go home. Essentially, everyone's FUCKING. RETARDED.
At the voting ceremony...
Everyone voted for each other, which resulted in a 4-way TIE that put winners Sweatervest and Amanda as the deciding vote.
They chose to eliminate BuffGeek and Christina from the game.
It was a cry fest loaded with hugs and goodbyes, a sentimental send off that challenged all other cheesy reality TV moments; luckily for you guys, my telepathic gift had me read the minds of BuffGeek and Christina just before their emotional departure...
"TRIPLE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Comments (1)
Cara did not convince me at all that she had any feelings for CokeBottle. She was just wanting more camera time.
And I thought from the beginning that sweatervest was not a geek and I'm more convinced now. It's all an act with him.
1 of 1 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on May 9, 2008 1:36 PM