Beauty and the Geek is back and it's more beautiful and geekier than ever with this season bringing us a surprising twist. Instead of pairing the beauties and geeks in teams they are now competing against each other after realizing that the romantic aspect of the show was a really stupid idea and would never work.
With John E. being eliminated last week, this leaves a square-shouldered, pasty-skinned void in the house. All the "beauties" are thrilled to see most of the guys return, other than Jonathan which no one really cares about, mostly because of the way he keeps clogging the shower drain. Amber was especially excited to see Tom come back since she has her gold-digging eye on him hoping to take that sow's ear and turn him into a whole, wealthy pig who will keep her in the lifestyle to which she thinks she should be accustom.
A glimpse into the sexual bartering between Tom and Amber if they did eventually get married.
Both teams are informed that this week's competition will be a talent show designed to feature each person's individual gifts whether those talents be "eyeliner" or "dandruff." Both teams have to put on a 10-minute review that will be judged by the surly audience who all just came from the extended director's cut of Norbit. As always, the winning team will have the ultimate power to send half of the losing team to the elimination round where they will face off with Flaylock the Fire Demon.
Jason feels confident that his innate geekiness will surely pay-off since he's had nothing but time to develop his skills all those lonely nights in his bedroom without a date. The majority of the ladies are concerned since they've never had to have talent other than standing for extended periods of time while looking fabulous.
Maybe not always fabulous.
The ladies all gather to pow-wow and pitch ideas. Most of the ideas entail the ladies looking fabulous and standing for an extended period of time, and the ones that don't are really stupid. They can't agree on anything other than the fact that Amanda's a bitch when she gets up to go to the bathroom. While the ladies can't decide on what to do, the geeks are all in sync, however far from NSYNC, when they decide to put on a rap show. The guys work together like Eminem and Dr. Dre, while the ladies continue to get along like Susan Lucci and Sarah Michelle Gellar. That's really good and really bad for the celebrity-love-o-meter.
"It's really pretty but it's not really a talent."
Hours later the ladies still have nothing but hurty heads from all the thinking so they all decide to give up and go drink which is how they made it through high school. To even the playing field the ladies attempt to distract the guys with a good old-fashioned game of spin the Dasani water bottle. Jonathan confesses that he has never been kissed by a girl who was not a relative and he and his grandma are not on speaking terms after their two-year relationship. Matt shies away from a kiss when the bottle lands on him because he doesn't want his first kiss to come from a game of spin the bottle, preferring to rather pay a hooker for it just like his dad did. While all this is happening Randi is pissed-off that the girls are wasting valuable time flirting when they could be practicing their booty-dancing and rump-shaking moves that she knows will win.
After the game is over and the majority of the ladies and gents are amply inebriated, Amber takes the opportunity to pitch some more woo at Tom and lay the groundwork for her future sugar-daddy. Unfortunately Tom is too awkward and shy to respond so he leaves her to her devices and retires to bed. After Tom is gone, Amber pals up to her fellow "beauties" for some girl talk. She confesses that she is using Tom because she simply doesn't want to go to elimination and feels Tom can be her valiant, acne-ridden white knight. Everyone seems to realize this that lanky doofus, Tom, but he'll have his heart ripped out soon enough. As Jim talks about Amber's morals he delivers the best line of the night. "How many Amber's does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. She holds it in place and the world revolves around her."
Amber practices her talent.
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Comments (3)
loved the Sanford and Son reference...but the character's dead wife was named Elizabeth.
Thanks for writing the recap so I don't have to subject myself to the actual show. LOL!
1 of 3 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on March 25, 2008 8:50 AM
Before the stair ceremony, I would have thought Randi should be the first to go... but Amber's reaction to her nomination proved that she was more than deserving of the honor.
Even in her side interviews, she was not consistant about whether she really did like Tom or not. I think a lot of her attitude hides a low self esteem. She ought to be really delightful when her first wrinkle appears. (Tom, you may not realize it, but you dodged a bullet, my man! There will be other super models, believe me!)
2 of 3 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on March 25, 2008 1:42 PM
I actually think Tom is cute..I wonder if he is geeky on the inside. I completely did not understand the geek's method on voting people into elimination. I don't even think Amber was pretty...she was kinda drag queen-like to me.
3 of 3 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on March 25, 2008 2:16 PM