Okay, now that I've spread seismic gossip around my circle of friends, let's get back to the show. So the girls all gave Shawn a pep talk about being confident, and then we cut to some late night footage of everyone sleeping. Everyone except Chuck and Scarlet. Turns out our bloody-nosed med student was burning the midnight oil giving away a free massage. Oh no he di'int! Even better was that after the kneading session was over, he told Scarlett, "I think you're the most beautiful woman in the house." To which she replied, "Oh my gosh! No way!" I wasn't sure if she was reacting to Chuck's come-on, or if she had simply found an Almond Joy in the bedcovers. Later though, she didn't seem to resist when he quietly caressed her back. Somebody call the FCC! This gentle courting is getting too hot!
The next day, we finally got to see the women model their clothing. The groups were brought to a runway where a trio of judges would assess them. We knew these experts were stylish because they all looked like idiots. Anyway, the silliness began relatively quickly as Mindi and Lauren discovered they had the same dresses, but in different colors. Oh, and Lauren's dress fit her while Mindi's was four sizes too big. "You look like a Christmas tree!" joked Lauren. Seriously though, with her fir-green dress sagging all over her, Mindi looked like... a Christmas tree... dammit. I hate when reality stars steal my lines.
Also not doing well on the size department was Krystal who clearly did not have an observant partner in Brad. "[The dress] fit me like a bag. A garbage bag," she complained. At least it wasn't as bad as Caitlin's dumb outfit which had her prancing around in a big, poofy, pink dress with a black sweater on top. It had all the patchwork flair of a bum fresh from the Goodwill dumpster.
The casual wear wasn't that bad, or at least, I don't think it was that bad -- the show skipped over most of it with some quick edits and some peppy music. The swim wear, however, was an exercise in schadenfreude. Mindi's baggy bikini bottoms had her concerned about incontinence. "I really felt like I was walking around with poop in my pants," she explained. This would go along nicely with Erika's advice to Joe on episode one when she said, "I want him to see someone on the street that's beautiful and say... you know what? That girl might have just pooped her pants!" Beauty and the Geek: reminding us that pretty girls poop too.
We then paused to have our creepy Geek moment of the episode as Shawn clinically noted that when it comes to watching the girls in bikinis, "There's a certain arousal factor." Things we don't want to see: Shawn's arousal factor.
Along with Mindi, Krystal had a pretty rough bathing suit experience, only because she thought her boobs might pop out at any time. But by far the biggest trooper was Caitilin whose bikini bottom was so small, it seemed to make her ass look like a beanbag chair by comparison. She noted that she already was self-conscious about wearing bathing suits; so for her to parade this butt-cheek-emphasizing outfit on national television was a fairly brave move. Finally, however, this miserable fashion show came to an end, and Brian McFayden told the guys, "Gentlemen, why don't you come stand by your respected ladies." It's "respective", you douchebag. I guess I can't expect much from a guy who has all the personality of a piece of kale.
Well, the judges evaluated all the guys and their picks, and thankfully, they thrashed Chuck for his fashion-blind selections. Sadly, his nose did not erupt into a geyser of blood, something he seemingly conquered after the first episode. I don't really remember what the judges had to say about Brad though because I was fairly distracted by the growing herpes sore on his lower lip. You know, he does kind of look like Tom Cruise. Maybe Katie got confused?
In the end, the judges anointed Shawn the winner, thus providing a neat CharacterArc™ for his previous fashion concerns. Chuck, meanwhile, gave Scarlet a big ole hug when he realized his love-bug would be around for at least a few more days. It was a nice moment that enjoyably veered into creepiness as Chuck seemed unwilling to free his captive woman from his Geek grip. Luckily, the beer spokeswoman escaped unharmed.
« Wednesday Night Without Reality | Main | Pimp My Antelope Hide »
Comments (29)
I was so hoping Richard and Mindi (sorry Mindi!) would be the next to leave. Richard bugs me to no end--he's like that super annoying kid from Hebrew school. Ugh.
1 of 29 | Posted by Hilary | Posted on June 16, 2005 10:24 PM
Oh I love this show, I have been telling EVERYONE I know to watch it.
Ok this is kinda cheesy but I actually feel good after watching this show, it's nice to see people learning and growing in a way that can help all of us be more tolerant.
I'm bummed about the eliminations cuz I like all the teams, I feel sorry for Richard, but it's really nothing a little adderall cant help.
2 of 29 | Posted by stoopy | Posted on June 16, 2005 10:50 PM
Fab-u-lous! I don't know what was funnier--the whole cold sore-Katie Holmes connection or the fact that mid sentence an earthquake happening, and B-Side doesn't backdown! A stellar example of, "The show must go on!" Can't wait to hear the latest instal of, "The Cut."
3 of 29 | Posted by Helenann | Posted on June 16, 2005 11:54 PM
Does anyone know whether Michael Jackson likes black or white cock?
4 of 29 | Posted by julian roberts | Posted on June 17, 2005 12:44 AM
Umm.. damn... okay... I'll do it: Gettin' my Geek on!
You're not using the term "Bottle Rocket" correctly. Bottle Rocket is idiomatic English for a type of firework - not a model rocket.
Bottle Rockets are small fireworks that look like a firecracker on the end of a red or green painted stick. The stick is approximately 10-12 inches long and the "rocket" (technically it's an engine, not a rocket) is approximately 2-3 inches in length. The rocket contains a propellant and an explosive. The propellant drives the firework (with attached stick) into the air and the explosive goes off, sending out a loud report and a shower of sparks, once the firework has (presumably) reached a certain altitude.
They're called "bottle rockets" because, despite the written warning on the fireworks that tells the user to "plant in ground" when setting them off, most users prefer to use a beer or soda bottle as the launching device. That's my preferred method -- sometimes when you place them in the ground you push them too far into the dirt and they don't fly, the stick gets stuck and they just burst on the ground. A bottle allows them to fly out unimpeded, while pointing vertically.
Model rockets, on the other hand, are completely different creatures. They're more or less meant to model actual rockets -- with fins and other rocket details. They're also reusable. They should have a recovery system, usually a parachute or other fall-limiting device that is deployed at the apogee of the rocket's flight that returns the rocket safely to earth.
One is for learnin', one is for fun.
Deciding which one is which is what separates the geeks from the boys.
Live long and prosper!
~Elvis
5 of 29 | Posted by Elvis | Posted on June 17, 2005 7:17 AM
I used to wear 2 and 4. A 4 would be two sizes up from a 0, not four sizes.
6 of 29 | Posted by Lady J | Posted on June 17, 2005 7:18 AM
Elvis, I definetly think you need to try out for this show after that last post.
Richard, I thought you were quirky, but yes, now you're just getting kinda annoying. And if a bunch of people tell you to shut up and knock off the dunce routine, take the hint and stop.
Caitilin, your ass looked great!!!! Don't worry about it. I only wish my ass looked like that.
Size ZERO!??!?!?!?! I still can't get over that this is an actual size. I would be happy to be a 4. Seriously, I was once & I thought I was fat. Now I would kill to go back to that.
7 of 29 | Posted by Genevieve | Posted on June 17, 2005 7:57 AM
That picture of Richard spooning in his tennis shoes reminds me so much of "Weird Science" when the mutants said to Anthony Michael Hall and the other guy -- "You two can't even shower with a beautiful woman without wearing your jeans". The whole show seems to have an element of Weird Science, Breakfast Club, 16 Candles and the rest of Anthony Michael Hall's career...
8 of 29 | Posted by BigMax | Posted on June 17, 2005 8:04 AM
Yes, to further expound on Lady J's sizing explantion - clothes for girls/women come in two sets: junior sizes, which have less hip to them, are odd: 1, 3, 5. Misses sizes, which are made for a more curvy shape, are even: 2, 4, 6. Often clothes are sold as a mix of both: 1/2, 3/4, 5/6. I don't know what junior size goes along with 0; maybe -1? -1/0? So anyway, a 4 is indeed only two sizes up from a 0.
And that's about as much as I know about fashion!
9 of 29 | Posted by Lola | Posted on June 17, 2005 8:36 AM
Lola,
Don't forget there is a size 00 (double zero).
10 of 29 | Posted by J-Unit | Posted on June 17, 2005 9:14 AM
Who is the Miz?
11 of 29 | Posted by Julie | Posted on June 17, 2005 9:33 AM
Anyone notice that Brad's questions in te ELIMINATION ROOM were incredibly hard? "What upscale department store has the same name as that of a children's entertainment character?"
Are they joking? The "beauty" and a gay man in my living room couldn't answer that. Of course the answer is Barney's, but we listened to the question 3 times on the TiVo and still had no idea.
I think they had two questions on each card -- an easy one and a hard one -- so that the producers could keep Richard on.
I hate that guy. I think was in the same Hebrew class as Hillary.
12 of 29 | Posted by ToniFerrari | Posted on June 17, 2005 9:46 AM
The bikini bottom was sized too small, but Caitlin has a great body. I can't understand her self-consciousness. Us women can be so rediculous.
And I felt the earthquake yesterday too B-Side. My hi-rise office building swayed back and forth, it was crazy. 4 big quakes in 5 days—so bizarre. I haven't felt that many in 8 years living in California. Does that mean the big one's coming? Scary!!!
13 of 29 | Posted by Amanda | Posted on June 17, 2005 10:22 AM
I just was really glad for Mindi that she was spooning him, not him spooning her. Yeah- he might be a nice guy, but thought of him rubbing up on anyone is enough to make my skin crawl. It was one of those TV moments when you feel your own face get red with embarassment for them.
14 of 29 | Posted by Kelley | Posted on June 17, 2005 10:50 AM
The Miz & Lauren? Where's that post, B-side?!
15 of 29 | Posted by ikellybside | Posted on June 17, 2005 10:58 AM
The WB doesn't show the episode whenever I flip it on, unless it is the rerun :( I chose to tape the rerun and watch another show but it didn't tape the right thing. Iwish I had seen it because it sounded like a great episode. btw: who is that in the picture on the right at the top of the recap.
Elvis: read your post. All I'm thinking is: And you know this how?
Julie: I have no idea either. Please tell us.
16 of 29 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 17, 2005 12:52 PM
I want to make a rocket like they made! Does anyone know where I can find out how to do one similar to the ones on the show?
I was gypped with the quake, was driving in my car and missed the whole thing. I did feel the one Saturday morning, though!
17 of 29 | Posted by nunya | Posted on June 17, 2005 12:55 PM
myself: "who is that in the picture on the right at the top of the screen" It was Caitlin right?
18 of 29 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 17, 2005 12:55 PM
julie & tv freak -- The Miz is Mike from The Real World Back to NY. He's also on all the Real World / Road Rules Challenges.
19 of 29 | Posted by ikellybside | Posted on June 17, 2005 1:06 PM
I love this show...
On that note, I'm glad Brad is gone, he was way too good looking to be on the show. And I thought they did blood tests on people that go on these shows...maybe they assumed no one would be making out...but seriously, you put a bunch of sluts and guys together, something is bound to happen...
PS Just felt like sharing...the guy doing the makeovers next week is my boyfriend's hairstylist Arnil...I feel so special when I know people on TV
20 of 29 | Posted by smithie | Posted on June 17, 2005 1:50 PM
I still can't help but think Richard is an actor paid to be as whacky as he is. I mean sure he is a genuine geek - but I think he is paid to play it up.
21 of 29 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on June 18, 2005 8:45 PM
Elvis - you're right about the bottle rockets....but you should know in Memphis we have "bottle rocket wars" where you hold on to the stick part and throw it after it's been lit. ah, good fun, good times....
22 of 29 | Posted by 4 fingers | Posted on June 18, 2005 9:08 PM
I still think Richard has sensory issues. ADD MAYBE?
23 of 29 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on June 19, 2005 7:50 PM
I actually go to school with Richard (well did, he just graduated) and he *really is* that geeky. I was in a class with him and he pulled insane stunts like he does on TV. He had a TV show on the school TV channel where he'd sort of play up his geeky-ness. I think he wants to be a comedian, so if it seems a little over-done, that's probably why. But, he is truly akward and his pants are always funny looking -- pooking out at his hips. I wonder if he pins them that way?
24 of 29 | Posted by Lauren | Posted on June 21, 2005 4:00 PM
Anyone else think that Lauren sounds just like Tara Reid? Probably just as much of a party girl as well.
25 of 29 | Posted by The Dogg Pound | Posted on June 23, 2005 3:12 PM
If Richard leaves the show, I will stop watching, he is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
26 of 29 | Posted by Delta1 | Posted on June 24, 2005 4:02 PM
Lauren is deffinetly my favorite.. shes soo cute
27 of 29 | Posted by Brittany | Posted on July 3, 2005 4:47 PM
This show is rigged. The Richard guy is an actor. Check this link out:
http://www.realityfanforum.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=323
Obviously they make the annoying guy stay to the end...it makes you want to watch the show.
28 of 29 | Posted by Foolio | Posted on July 3, 2005 9:22 PM
i think mindi is amazing. and richard is awesome... some of you guys are really insincere. shame.
29 of 29 | Posted by tracy | Posted on July 6, 2005 1:36 AM