Testimonials

Anyway, the next day the women all convened at the Lisa Kline boutique in Beverly Hills where Brian McFayden supplied their much-hyped math challenge. Basically, the girls would be giving the guys makeovers. They would each have $1000 to spend on clothes, but here's the catch: the women would have to factor in an 8.5% sales tax... IN THEIR HEADS! (Cue the organ chords). So the challenge was a little creative. Okay, it was incredibly lame. At least it was over after about thirty seconds, which was good because I really couldn't deal with any more pained expressions and quiet murmurings of "...carry the one..."

After Brian McFayden tallied up the purchases (and resisted the metrosexual temptation to try on every outfit in the store), he announced that Lauren -- surprise, surprise -- had won the task. This meant that her partner Bill would receive "an advantage" during his portion of the challenge. Very exciting... right? Anyway, the gals all returned to the dojo where they revealed their fashion choices to their partners. As usual, Richard resisted change with a shrill litany of excuses. Seriously, they're just jeans. It's not like Mindi's making you wear ass-less, leather chaps. Or at least, we hope not. Shivers.

The show then switched to one of its three public domain music tracks as the guys all received a makeover (highlights and all!), and then finally -- after four weeks of anticipation -- we got to see the new and improved Geeks. Shawn was first, and despite his gigantic, yellow teeth, he looked very good. Textured hair, blonde highlights, normal clothing -- it was like the pretty boy Ryan Seacrest always wished he could be. Next up was Chuck who emerged looking... uh... pretty much the same. Yeah, his wardrobe was better, but his hair was basically the same (maybe lighter). Caitilin, however, had a much different opinion. "Chuck looked like a totally different person!" she exclaimed. Caitilin then added, "Oh wait, I was looking at that painting over there. That explains the powdered wig. Yeah, never mind. Chuck looks the same."

The third and most impressive transformation came from Bill, who emerged a new man once he swapped out his glasses and polo for hair product and a trendy button-down. Dare I say he actually looked normal? Looks like someone will be the Belle of the Dukes of Hazzard Fan Club Ball...

Last but not least was Richard, whose makeover simply consisted of slipping him into some nice jeans and a simple blue button-down. Honestly, it would have been nice to see him with a different hairstyle. The Jew-puff is nice, but I've seen too many of my people suffer under its helmet-like stature. Nevertheless, despite his makeover's deceptively basic changes, the mere fact that Mindi brought an end to Richard's Hip Flaps of Doom is impressive in and of itself. Kudos to her (even though, as we'd later see, the hips would be back).

Oooh!

Ahhhh!

Eh...

Oy.

With the makeovers in place, it was time for the guys to take action. The couples relocated to Universal Citywalk (a.k.a. Cheesy Tourist Mecca of Los Angeles) where Brian McFayden announced the guys would have thirty minutes to collect as many numbers as possible. Helping them out would be their female partners who would assist via an earpiece. Oh, and Bill's big advantage from Lauren's earlier win: he'd start off with one bonus number. Wow. Now THAT is a huge reward! Brian McFayden then announced that the winner of this challenge would get an additional slice of bread with dinner, and, if he were lucky, some warm tap water to accompany the graham cracker dessert.

Anyway, the challenge finally began, and Chuck immediately transformed into a British gentleman as he cornered one woman and said, "I beg your pardon. I'm sorry to bother you." He then added, "I'm looking for the shoppe in the centre of town. My chum Nigel awaits!"

Shawn, however, had a fairly smooth start as he actually managed to talk to some girls, but when Scarlet gave him advice, he became distracted with his earpiece and eventually said, "Got this gooey thing in my ear. It's nasty." That might be marginally better than Richard's "I'm feeling ill" line, but a good rule of thumb: girls don't want to hear about gooey things in your ear -- nay -- anywhere.

As for Bill, he seemed to be benefitting from Lauren's shrewd lines. She had him tell some poor girl that he was throwing a VIP party, and of course she forked over her number in no time. Never mind that he was a total stranger and that "VIP Party" could be a vague term for "rape and murder session."

« They Want to Be a Hilton, I Want to Be Sedated | Main | Tom Cruise and Matt Lauer -- Now In Bite Size Form »

Posted in Beauty and the Geek by B-Side at 1:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: haha on Jul 11, 2005 07:19 PM.