Also laying out the lies was Chuck who quickly shunned British politeness for gay sass. Yes, the chronic nose bleeder began telling women that he was not only a screenwriter doing research on the Citywalk (worst movie EVER), but that he was gay. "How many straight men do you know with highlights in their hair?" he asked. Somewhere, Ryan Seacrest blushed. Wow, two Seacrest jokes in one post. Very nice. Very nice indeed.

Faring poorly, of course, was Richard, who approached the challenge with the jokey self-defense mechanism that has somehow sustained him all this time. He actually managed to get a number from a girl, but his luck quickly turned sour as he propositioned a married lady. From that point on, his entire gameplan -- if there even was one -- went to shit, and he ultimately resorted to telling women that he was in the FBI and needed numbers. And even then he got nothing. I guess that's because most FBI agents don't look like the love child of Urkel and Eugene Levy.

While Richard struggled, Bill excelled. He even moved in on the two honeys Shawn had been working on for the past fifteen minutes. Awww... Bill's first cockblock. So sweet. My favorite part of Bill's game though was how he kept telling girls that he wanted to call them, but as he took down their digits, it was patently obvious that they were one of many numbers he had collected on his pad. Don't these women have any standards? I guess not because the final tally was six numbers each for Richard and Shawn (that Richard got so many was a total shock), while Bill pulled in ten and Chuck thirteen. So the lesson: always lie to women.

With Chuck winning the challenge, he told us, "There have been times where I wanted to approach someone and ask for their number, and I was sort of afraid to, and so that's something that I feel like I'll be more confident about now." So... you're more confident in telling girls you're gay? I'm a little confused. Nevertheless, Chuck and Caitilin once again became the power couple, and as the two deliberated, Richard decided to embrace his inevitable fate by donning a blindfold and sticking a fake cigarette in his mouth. Get it? He was facing the firing squad. AND he was being dumb. It really worked on so many levels.

Well, for the first time, there was actually some mild intrigue with the nominations. It was a given that Richard and Mindi would be headed into the Elimination Room, but what about the other two teams? Caitilin had a strong bond with Lauren (which we conveniently found out about, you know, JUST NOW) while Chuck had a permanent erection for Scarlet. Ultimately, since Chuck had put himself out on the line more than Caitilin during the challenge, his vote trumped hers, and Bill and Lauren were sent into the Elimination Room.

Knowing that she'd be facing some old fashioned math trivia, Lauren suddenly changed her tune about arithmetic. Whereas once she pined for jogging or eating or going out, the perky blonde now trumpeted her love of math. "I like to calculate things. In my cellphone," she said. Seriously though, typing in those numbers is like #2 behind orgasms.

Richard, meanwhile, responded to the nominations with (sigh) more lame comedy. "I go down with honor!" he yelled, mimicking a generic European officer. "You go down with ridicule, Rich," retorted Chuck. Oh SNAP! Homeboy just called you out, Richard! This was like the nerd version of the 50 Cent's latest feud with The Game.

Anyway, time for the Elimination Room. As the teams headed in, Bill proudly announced, "Chances of winning tonight are 90%." Okay, I guess they'll be losing. And sure enough, that's what happened. While Mindi went three for three with her math problems, Lauren had greater difficulty as converted three yards to sixty-four feet (ouch) and calculated the sum of 59 and 45 to be... 144. Ouch. Longtime listener, first time adder. To be fair, Bill also missed a question, but it was remarkably sneaky. On a date, who should pick up the check? Bill answered "the man," but apparently, the correct answer was whoever asked for the date. TRICKY! I hate you, Brian McFayden. Just felt like saying that.

And so another episode came to an end. Richard managed to steal a kiss from Lauren, upping his grand total to TWO girls kissed (still can't believe #1 was boring Krystal). It looks like we're in for another showdown between Richard and Chuck, which should be enjoyably tame (again, not Real World fisticuffs here).

What do you think? Is Richard capable of growing? Is he still good TV?

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Comments (9)

British:

I've never seen that show before, but it's fun to watch Richard. He's such a trainwreck of social awkwardness.

He's the Urkel of this Family Matters. Had he not been cast, this show would have been canceled.

TrojanMan:

How the hell did Richard get SIX phone numbers? Did they have no age limit on the "women" they needed to get phone numbers from? Did he offer to "cat-sit" for 70+ year old ladies absent-mindedly wandering through the land of $10 hamburgers and sweaty tourists that is CityWalk?

Impressive use of the gay screenwriter angle by Chuck though -- though it kind of defeats the whole "transformation" purpose of the challenge? And how sad is it that Chuck will soon learn that "Scar" got her nickname by ripping the heart out of men she manipulated using her sex appeal to get what she wants.

YoYoMa:

Did anyone see Richard on Regis and Kelly on Monday morning? He was freaking hilarious. I loved his pseudo-impersonation of Mr. Philbin and his spoon/fork double entendre. Also, he just left the stage as soon as his last segment wrapped up. Usually guests wait until the commercial break before they leave. What a strange character.

Dan:

Okay, Chuck. 7 competing teams means 6 eliminations to "crown" one winning team. 3 eliminations had occurred, meaning that the show was indeed just past the halfway point.

Other than that, I totally agree about the "chances being equal" thing. It always irks me when that is said.

iLikeBill:

In the picture of Brian McFayden, dressed uncannily like the Hamburglar...
does it look like something is protruding his right cheek?

I was really disappointed with Chuck using the "gay scriptwriter" bit in order to get phone numbers. How is that going to help him get a girl in real life? He's always down on Richard for hiding behind his obnoxious Woody Allen schtick, but when it comes to a challenge Chuck's uncomfortable with, he hides behind the gay scriptwriter act. Come on Chuck, you're supposed to learn and grow through this experience!

ldini79:

great recap, b-side, you were dead on with the makeover commentary (your oooh! ahhhh! eh! oy! is still giving me the giggles). it's funny how much bill changed by just taking of his glasses and putting a little product in his hair.

i did notice that kite-illin and lauren had a special bonding moment a few episodes ago when they were making fun of everyone else in the house in a bitchy but humorous segment (where caitilin said she wanted to throw chucky out the window, eliminate all the geeks, and get the real party started).

ally:

hey yall i want chuck 2 win

haha:

HAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh


i love your recap!!!!!1
its HILARIOUS!
u r so funny

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