Nast.
Okay guys, tonight determined the final pair of teams for next week's season finale of "Beauty and the Geek." After all is said and done, I have to admit, I am pretty surprised at the teams that make it. The only way it would have been more surprising is if it had ended up differently. Or the same, but with more scandal. And entertainment.
Last week, my favorite team were ousted, and this week all that's left is Sam/Nicole, Dave/Jasmine, and William/Jen, who I hate so much that I will now declare them my favorite in the hopes that it will get them eliminated. Jen says, "We made it to the final three, I can't believe it! Like, I'm shocked!" Yeah, Tits McBleachy, we're all shocked. As they emerge into the crowd of made-its, William declares them the Team That Will Not Die (ain't it the truth?) and Jen reveals her previously unseen, super-classy tongue ring and wretched tan line.
Tim Gunn might say this is an "unflattering cut."
Now we know your bottom line, chica. The teams all share a moment of silence in memoriam for Chez and Joshua, and upon this silence Jasmine wonders aloud who is farting? I guess the gang has really grown close over the last few weeks.
Later, after what looks to be a few bottles of wine, Dave and Nicole sit together on a bed making awfully awkward conversation. Dave, whose romantic social interactions never progressed beyond third grade, stammers and tells a sad story involving a girl and a funeral. Way to boost the romance. Nicole just looks like she's devising a scheme to squirm her way out of this one.
"Do I look like I give a fuck?"
We can all tell what's coming next. Fortunately, it doesn't. He chickens out as soon as Nicole remarks that she didn't date much in high school because "there are better ways to spend your time and money." Um, I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure she's wrong. She must be an anomaly of the human species, thinking that there are better things to do than fuck or try to fuck. Way to let down your genus, genius. Guess we can't count on you for procreation. Next!
"Dude, I can SEE my OWN FOREHEAD."
The next morning, Handsome Host strolls in with a bottle of wine. Isn't it a little early for falling off the wagon? At least wait until 10am, Double-H. William, upon seeing the wine, remarks that he doesn't like the taste of it, due to its tartness and acidity. Perhaps you should consider drinking something that doesn't come out of a box, Champ. I advise something that's difficult to pronounce, paired with a nice goat cheese, maybe a pear and a baguette. H. H. remarks that wine, after it's been shipped out, continues to mature for years to come, much in the same way that all of these teams will continue to grow after they've left the mansion. Thanks, Dad. Let's go play catch. While he drones on about some team challenge and how they have to work together, blah bitty blah blah, I can't help but notice Jen and William's body language.
"Ew, cooties."
I see they've grown a lot during this process. While the teams study their wine materials (which does not include getting crunk, in case you were wondering), Jasmine says, "Do you think it will be some kind of race?" Well, yeah. Considering that every other challenge has been a race of one form or another, I'd say that's a good guess. Three gold stars for you, Jas! While she prepares, Jasmine lets out a spunky, competitive and feisty side of her that we've not seen before. "We're gonna win!!" she declares breathlessly in her cute koala bear voice. With that attitude, you sure will!
The teams ride a bus to the Beauty and The Geek Vineyards (fancy!). Apparently the show has done so well that it has reached beyond its television grasp and is now conquering the world of Merlot and Chablis. Along the way, William studies aloud, pronouncing Cabernet the same way a backwoods hick says "cabinet." In a flashing moment of brilliance, Jasmine says, "That's so silly. Why would you say that? It's Cab-er-NAY, everyone knows that." Where did this whiz kid come from? Two weeks ago I would have thought she'd be the one to say it incorrectly. What is happening to this season? Sam is good, William is bad, Jasmine is smart, down is up!
"Our Cabinet Sauvignon has notes of tequila and silicone."
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Comments (4)
I noticed the T-shirt thing and asked, "Why is William wearing Nichole's shirt?" Only I didn't know it was dark horse comics. I thought it was the International Chess Club symbol. Who knew? I would be so happy to see William and his amazon robot gone except the next show is the last show which usually brings everyone back. The only good news is the host guy hinted that this time would be different. Maybe, just maybe I will not have to see William again.
1 of 4 | Posted by geewits | Posted on November 26, 2007 12:06 AM
I noticed the t-shirt too, but not on Nicole. I noticed Sam had worn it on an earlier episode and it struck me as very strange that he and William should have the same t-shirt. I too didn't realize it had to do with comicon. Probably Sam picked it out and the rest followed suit to match the cool kid :)
Was so glad that Jasmine and Dave won the challenge. Sam was a putz for not allowing them to bask in their win a little bit. Big puss had to ruin everyone's good time. Still I'm glad he and Nicole made the finals over William and Jen. I don't think I could have stood it if William so undeservedly made it to the end. I do hope that Dave and Jas in the whole thing.
2 of 4 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on November 26, 2007 11:59 AM
Your screenshots had me laughing out loud. Great job!!
William and Jen are by far the most annoying team they've ever had on this show. SO relieved they're gone!!
Jasmine and Dave actually used to annoy me as well, but I love them now. It just shows how much they've grown from this experience, and O Snapp I completely agree with you that Jasmine is so erratic in the intelligence department. One day she's a genius and the next day an idiot- still funny though.
3 of 4 | Posted by TVCheese | Posted on November 27, 2007 9:29 AM
Another excellent recap!
Thanks for sharing your unique perspective.
4 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 27, 2007 12:46 PM