This challenge is, basically, to complete the entire wine-making process, except for the growing plants part. And the alcohol part. So basically they have to make homemade grape juice. But the twist is that they have to do everything while bound to each other by the feet, waist and arms. Sounds like a rockin' Saturday night to me. When Jen learns this, she says, "I would rather be tied, to, like, another guy." Then she laughs that stoner laugh we've all come to love (or have grate on our nerves). You are very creative, Tits. Very creative indeed.
"Totes, bro, pass the bowl."
As Handsome Host calls for the start of the race (Jasmine was right!), each team starts down the mountain looking like couples on a Napa vacay.
"Honey, after dinner can we have a campfire orgy?"
To all viewers' dismay, nobody eats it on the way down. Nicole slips for a sec, but regains footing gracefully, dammit. Shouldn't one of the producers have pushed someone or something, just for our benefit? (And for that matter, why don't they ever do that on "The Hills"? I'd love to see Audrina take a spill outside of Pinkberry. Maybe they'd get an expression out of her face.)
Jas explains how first they each have to fill their bags with 10lbs of grapes. "I'm like, 'I don't know what 10 pounds feels like!' Like, that's heavy!!" I'll break it down for you, honey pie. Ten pounds is heavier than a teddy bear but lighter than a beagle.
Your daily dose of "Awwww!"
When Jasmine and Dave get enough grapes and get to stompin', I realize with utter disgust that each pair is completing this task with bare, unwashed feet that just went traipsing around in dirt, mulch and fertilizer. Well, I would expect nothing less from the Beauty And The Geek Vineyards. This is the same process they've used for centuries... or at least hours. The only thing that perks me up from the nausea induced by this realization is the sight of Dave and Jas stomping their hearts out.
You're doing it wrong.
They pour out the fruits of their labor (no pun intended) and it looks like shitwater to me. Meanwhile, Jen/Will have to go back to the vines because they didn't get enough grapes the first time around. That's not what I call teamwork! Luckily they're pretty funny to watch stomp too. This camera guy always takes full advantage of Jen's chest investment (inchestment?).
Doing it right
Dave and Jas fill their three bottles and slowly but steadily (and wobbily) make their way down the hill where H. H. awaits them with the news that they are one of the final two teams. After the challenge, everyone gets to go have wine and cheese (hopefully of the goat variety, with some pear) at the top of the vineyard mountain at sunset. It's awfully romantic until Sam starts trying to drown his sorrows about losing by guzzling wine like it's Gatorade and sulking like a little pussy.
Dude, don't you know sorrows know how to swim?
His silent prissy tantrum continues back at the manse, where there's a note for all to gather in the viewing room for a special video. Hopefully it's not that after-school movie about the dangers of teen pregnancy. Nope, it's a montage of each remaining member on their first day. Ah, memories. It seems like it was just a few weeks ago... actually, it WAS just a few weeks ago that all of these goons were set in their stereotypical ways. We get to relive the moment when each person found out who their partner was, complete with everyone's second thoughts. Dave cringes as Nicole laughs at his formerly dorky (well, dorkier) LARPer self and Sam regains his confidence after seeing several minutes of video footage of his own face and pectoral muscles.
See, this is interesting, because first you have Sam and Nicole, who are, well, whatever. No surprises there. But then you have Jen/William and Dave/Jas, both teams whose geeks vehemently did not want the beauty they got (guess everyone wanted $8,000 Boob Girl). And yet, throughout the course of the season, Dave/Jas learned to work together and even like and appreciate each other, while Jen/William have only devolved further into their mutual hatred and disrespect for each other. In fact, they are the only couple on this season that hasn't changed one bit. Maybe Jen should have kissed William halfway through the season. A little boner never hurt anyone.
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Comments (4)
I noticed the T-shirt thing and asked, "Why is William wearing Nichole's shirt?" Only I didn't know it was dark horse comics. I thought it was the International Chess Club symbol. Who knew? I would be so happy to see William and his amazon robot gone except the next show is the last show which usually brings everyone back. The only good news is the host guy hinted that this time would be different. Maybe, just maybe I will not have to see William again.
1 of 4 | Posted by geewits | Posted on November 26, 2007 12:06 AM
I noticed the t-shirt too, but not on Nicole. I noticed Sam had worn it on an earlier episode and it struck me as very strange that he and William should have the same t-shirt. I too didn't realize it had to do with comicon. Probably Sam picked it out and the rest followed suit to match the cool kid :)
Was so glad that Jasmine and Dave won the challenge. Sam was a putz for not allowing them to bask in their win a little bit. Big puss had to ruin everyone's good time. Still I'm glad he and Nicole made the finals over William and Jen. I don't think I could have stood it if William so undeservedly made it to the end. I do hope that Dave and Jas in the whole thing.
2 of 4 | Posted by Splotchie | Posted on November 26, 2007 11:59 AM
Your screenshots had me laughing out loud. Great job!!
William and Jen are by far the most annoying team they've ever had on this show. SO relieved they're gone!!
Jasmine and Dave actually used to annoy me as well, but I love them now. It just shows how much they've grown from this experience, and O Snapp I completely agree with you that Jasmine is so erratic in the intelligence department. One day she's a genius and the next day an idiot- still funny though.
3 of 4 | Posted by TVCheese | Posted on November 27, 2007 9:29 AM
Another excellent recap!
Thanks for sharing your unique perspective.
4 of 4 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 27, 2007 12:46 PM