Recap: Beauty and the Geek: Scooters for Everyone!

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By Jordan

It's once again time for Ashton Kutcher's "social experiment" where a bunch of "geeks" get teamed up with a bunch of "beauties" in order to learn, grow, have fun, oh and of course win $250,000.  It's Beauty and the Geek 3!

And what's Beauty and the Geek without stereotyping?  The show opens with the "geeks" arriving at their lavish mansion riding…scooters.  Yes, scooters.  Because as you may or may not be aware, all geeks ride scooters.  It comes with the territory.  One at a time, let's meet this year's group of computer-loving, Star Trek watching, non-woman touching geeks:

Piao:  He's 0 for his life when it comes to dating.

Drew:  He's a Trekkie.  Enough said.

Niels:  He's smarter than you.  And he's from my hometown.  And his name is plural.

Nate:  He sings in a Star Wars themed band.  Since when was that geeky?  He also looks like he's been living in a cave for quite some time.

Scooter:  He went to Harvard.  And he can't dress.

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Mario:  He loves comic books.  And he's got a tattoo of a Nintendo controller.

Matt:  He went to MIT. 

Sanjay:  He's a virgin.  At least that's the one word description we get of him. 

Now that we've met this year's geeks, it's time for the "Beauties!"  Instead of being mocked by being forced to ride in on scooters, the Beauties arrive by limo.  And here they are:

Jennylee:  She loves being attractive.  And her parents couldn't think of a human name.

Andrea:  She's a pageant queen.  Her shirt is very sparkly.  And there's no way those are real.

Erin:  She doesn't know people actually GO to Harvard.  Yes, it's true.

Tori:  She loves thinking she's awesome.

Nadia:  Former cheerleader and current "sorority girl."  Oh, and she dreams of becoming a nuclear physicist.  Just kidding.

Sheree:  The last book she read was Sweet Value High and clearly not Hairstyles to Make Your Forehead Look Smaller, because dear God that thing is huge.

Cecille:  She's a bikini model and kinda looks like Anna Nicole Smith, except she's not as smart.

Megan:  She's apparently a Playboy model.  I don't see it.

Now that we've met this year's contestants it's time to get started!

Our host Brian comes out and tells us all what we already know – the Geeks will be paired up with the Beauties and it's their mission to bring out their intellectual side and it's the Beauty's mission to make the geeks more social.  The two groups are separated into two different rooms in order to choose partners.  One by one they are able to meet and choose their partner, but can't see each other.  Not that looks are important or anything.

Paio can't stop grinning when he creepily tells us he hasn't seen this many attractive women since the last "men's magazine he flipped through at the 7-11." 

For some reason the girls are surprised.  They didn't expect guys that looked THAT GEEKY!  Apparently they thought they were going to be on the Bachelor, Los Angeles.  They were wrong.  Drew volunteers to introduce himself first and enters the other room where he is paired off with Erin because they both like the adjective fantastic.  Meanwhile, I'm just impressed that Erin knows what an adjective is.  Andrea is next to cross the hall and introduces herself and gets paired up with Matt.  She's sparkly.  Matt tells her he knows 180 digits of Pi.  She didn't realize you can cut it into that many pieces.

Sanjay's next and does an impression of a blender.  It's about as impressive as it sounds.  Tori bites the bullet and they become this year's ethnic couple.  The question remains, which geek will become this year's surprise hot guy and which girl will become this year's beauty that hooks up?  Cecille's next and gets paired up with Grizzly Adams, er, Nate.  Nate is officially this year's leading candidate for surprise hot geek, once he comes out of his cave.

Mario introduces himself and after much debate is set up with Nadia.  Nadia feels that she was pressured into taking Mario.  I'm sure she won't feel bad about this later.  Next up is Jennylee, who tells us she's an "expert on things I know."  You know, like standing, walking, and…walking.  Niels takes her.  He's super excited to talk about cognitive radio and I think the word science physically hurts her brain.

Up next is Scooter and he's put with Megan, who, if I'm wrong, is missing half her dress.  Lastly, Paio is set up with Forehead.  I mean Sheree.  And there are your couples.

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Comments (16)

Clair Author Profile Page:

Excellent recap - funny and timely! One small note, however, the Dewey Decimal System isn't alphabetical, it's numerical.

HicksPub Author Profile Page:

Poor Balki, er Sanjay was hysterical without meaning to be. OMG, who proclaims to love rap, but not know the meaning of the words?!? "What? Booty = Intercourse? That explains a lot." LOL! It was especially telling when he polled the other geeks and they all understood booty to mean pirate treasure. Although I'm sad to see Sanjay go, I'm willing to accept the collateral damage to get rid of Tori. She literally (or would it be illiterally?) had no redeeming qualities. Andrea's next in my cross-hairs. Ho's gotta go.

slutty_whore Author Profile Page:

Excellent recap? But a small picky thing... did you mean "Sweet Value High" to be funny or did you actually mean "Sweet VALLEY High?, which was the name of the school in the books and tv show?

Svettylana Author Profile Page:

wow! you hated tori just as much as me, sucks fo sanjay bc he didn't even stand a chance, and I don't know why she is a "beauty" anyway, sure she's dumb enough, but there is nothing pretty about her and she dresses like she shops at rave girl and gets dressed in the dark! good riddance!

and def nate has the strongest shot so far of being the sercretly cute geek, can't wait to find out who hooks up!

georgiababe Author Profile Page:

I've seen Jennylee before. She was on that show Next, and she had 5 guys on the bus waiting to see if they can be her date. She cut two immediately because they were shorter than she was, then she made the others pretend they were in Grease. They were at the actual location of Rydell High, where the movie was filmed, and she was dressed as Sandy. She made the guys dress up like Danny, in a black wig and a leather jacket, then they did this weird go kart thing, then I think that they got ice cream sundaes or something and sat on the bleachers. It was weird. I didn't like her then, and I still don't like her.

I really like Cecille and Nate. Cecille is an airhead, but at least she's funny. And I like Sheree and Matt. But that's about it. But I HATED Tori. Poor Sanjay. She is the biggest idiot ever. Honestly, they told her like 3 times how to read the teleprompter and when to start, and she STILL couldn't get it right!! And then she got all pissed off that Sanjay didn't congratulate her! What a moron.

~Georgia~

hannahthehun Author Profile Page:

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for recapping this show. I never know what to think until TVGasm validates my opinions about a show.

Jordan Author Profile Page:

Whoops. I did indeed mean Sweet Valley High. Sweet Value High sounds like a cross between Costco and a high school.

zoobabe Author Profile Page:

Scooter gets my vote for the after makeover hottie. Sure he dresses poorly, but that's easy to fix and he does have the requisite facial hair that needs to be shaved.

anniedawg25 Author Profile Page:

Georgia, my cousin and I totally called Jennylee out...we had seen her on "Next" the previous day! We are betting that she never ONCE mentions her "addiction" to Grease on this show. Proving that Next is total B.S.
Also, she just lost all "credibility" about how serious she is about this show, she seems like those actresses that apply to billions of Reality Shows trying to get into the bizz.

Other than that, I totally love this show!!!! Nate is my favorite!

fycin Author Profile Page:

I think Nate just looks like every other bearded hipster in Brooklyn right now. Slightly more awkward, maybe, but not exactly geeky.

I think Neils could be in the running to win the hottie makeover contest.

Erin is originally from my hometown. I'm wondering what kind of "voice teacher" she really is. You do actually have to know stuff in order to teach voice, and she did well in the elimination round. I think she might be pulling a Cher. (i.e. faking the total idiocy)

Finally, thank god that Tori is gone. She so obviously got mad at Sanjay because she was insecure and knew she f-ed up by not studying. A person has a right to sleep? Come on!!

I'm pulling for Mario and Nadia. They're my faves so far. And I liked the super mario boob-squeeze joke.

brilliantmistake Author Profile Page:

I'm with zoobabe- Scooter's got the most cleanup potential.

I'm sick to death of Freakonomics and the associated hype. It's not that great, people. The authors are one step away from appearing on the Surreal Life.

"The last book she read was Sweet Valley High and clearly not Hairstyles to Make Your Forehead Look Smaller, because dear God that thing is huge."
HAHA!!

Great Recap! I love this show... but its never been as good without Richard! That guy was phenomenal.

Nerdatron Author Profile Page:

I felt so bad for Sanjay for having such a retarded partner. Seriously, I wanted to strangle her when Sanjay was trying to apologize.

WCPisdelicious Author Profile Page:

I LOVE this show! I never watched the first two seasons but I'm now addicted after seeing the first episode! I really think Nate will look good once he's cleaned up-- plus I thought he was funny (and confident during the library challenge).

I think Nadia and Mario are great together. I hope they go far.

TinkerbellAPixie Author Profile Page:

You forgot to mention the new twist - having all the other contestants watch the Elimination contest from a TV upstairs. I'm not quite sure how this twist will impact the game - unless it intimidates some of the teams from taking a winning team out.

The girls are much meaner this year - and are definitely here for the cameras and not to learn anything or hang out with these poor shlubs.

fycin Author Profile Page:

Okay so I was totally right about Erin. Just talked to a friend that went to high school with her. She is not dumb at all and was even on the Math Team. She's pulling a Cher! I'm so annoyed!

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