By Jordan
Have you ever noticed that women will talk to any guy walking around in a park if he has a dog no matter what he looks like? More serial killers and rapists need to invest in dogs. I think it must be in every woman's genetic code that if they see a dog they must speak with the owner. Several years ago I realized that if there's one thing women love more than dogs, it's babies. It's been scientifically proven that to women, babies are "cuter" than dogs. So back then I thought up my Rent-a-Baby service in which I would rent out orphaned babies on an hourly basis to men who were trying to pick up women. I realized that selling children was illegal, but renting should have been no problem. I was wrong. As the cuffs went on I thought, "maybe I should have just stuck with dogs."
This week's episode of Beauty and the Geek reminded me of my old business and what could have been. One of these days I'll get it off the ground again, so look for a Rent-a-Baby near you. Just don't tell the cops.
Last week on Beauty and the Geek, Cecille's bad side came out, Jennylee and Nate flirted on a boat, and Niels and Jennylee survived elimination sending Erin and Drew home. Now only four teams remain and someone's gonna win 250 grand.
As per usual we open with Niels and Jennylee's return upstairs. The Rock and Roll Peacock survives another day!
Later that night we're treated to some night-vision footage of Nate displaying his complete lack of player skills. He sits on a bed with Jennylee rambling about how he can't believe that she likes him. I'm pretty sure if Jennylee was completely naked wearing only a flashing neon sign that said "Make a Move, Retard!" he still would have just sat there. This was near painful to watch. Jennylee has now gone at least a week without sex, which is probably a record for her and Nate can't even take advantage. Sad. They stand in the hallway and Nate says "See you in the morning." Aaaargh. I realize that Jennylee has come off as a worthless human being, especially since her "I'm cooler than you" comment towards Andrea, but come on Nate. DO SOMETHING. Alas, nothing happens.
The next morning the group gathers in the living room to learn their new tasks. Our incredibly charismatically challenged host Mike tells the teams it's time to "shake things up a bit." "What does that mean?" inquires Nadia. She's not so good with expressions. Or counting.
Mike says they're going to add a member to each team. Who could it be? Eliminated contestants? The cast of Star Trek? Nate's old caveman buddies? No. Instead Mike introduces a group of…dogs. In trot a chihuahua, a daschund, a golden retriever, and my personal favorite breed, an English bulldog. Each team will choose a dog that will be a part of their next challenge. Nate and Cecille take the Taco Bell dog, Niels and Jennylee the bulldog, Nadia and Mario the retriever, and Scooter and Megan the hot dog.
Cecille, in her infinite wisdom tells us that chihuahuas aren't like dogs, they're like babies and they should be treated like babies. I pray to God that this woman never gets pregnant. I'm guessing the odds of that though are highly unlikely.
The Geeks will be taking the dogs to a park and will have to get women's phone numbers, using the dogs as bait. Yes, I've definitely seen this trick used in the past…but I'm telling you, babies work much better. Mike continues and takes out a tool chest and the following exchange is heard:
Mike: This is a tool chest, and shocker, it contains tools. Nadia: What are tools? Cecille: What's shocker?
Come on Cecille, I think we all know that you know what the shocker is. Two in the pink, one in the stink? No?
Mike says that they'll be building their own "doggy domicile." Megan asks, "What's domicile?" Officially, none of these women have a strong grasp of the English language. What are tools? What's domicile? How did I get here? Why are there cameras?
Megan tells us that "I'm really confident in this next challenge cause I'm a super good screwer." At this point, I don't even know if she realizes what she's saying anymore or if she just intentionally made a joke. Either way she's still a dumbass.
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Comments (11)
That was Harry, not Lloyd, and yes, i thought of the same thing! :)
1 of 11 | Posted by Emilita33
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Posted on February 1, 2007 3:07 PM
Since my beloved Mario is gone :( I no longer care who wins... as long as it's not Cecille (shudder).
2 of 11 | Posted by Clair
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Posted on February 1, 2007 3:41 PM
In my head, going into this episode, in descending order of awesomeness, Nadia, Jennylee, Megan, Duckfaced Penguin. Therefore, Jennylee & Niels are my picks to win it all.
3 of 11 | Posted by JohnEDowney
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Posted on February 1, 2007 5:37 PM
Why not just put the male contestants arms in casts, and have them try to get women to help them move heavy furniture into a van? That would have been much more fun!
4 of 11 | Posted by USNRNPage
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Posted on February 1, 2007 6:29 PM
Awww...I'm upset about Mario and Nadia being eliminated. Come on. Mimicing and mirroring are really, really close. I really wanted them to win. Now I'm pulling for Niels and Jennylee. I'm not a real huge fan of Jennylee, but I would DEFINITELY prefer her over Cecille. Even Megan and Scooter would be better. I feel bad for Nate though - I really like him, but I just hate his partner.
I'm quite disappointed. I'm had really good luck with Beauty and the Geek - I was rooting for Chuck and Caitlin and Josh and Cher, and they both won, so I really thought that Nadia and Mario would pull through. Stupid question.
Oh well. Go Niels!
~Georgia~
5 of 11 | Posted by georgiababe
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Posted on February 1, 2007 7:15 PM
C'mon, Jennylee's question about the three little pigs?!? This competition is rigged to keep her in so that there's more Jennylee-Nate action. And maybe so we can hear more "I'm cooler than you" statements.
Nadia and Mario were an awesome team.
6 of 11 | Posted by JerryTheElk
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Posted on February 1, 2007 7:57 PM
I'm still rooting for Scooter to win. Maybe he could use the money to buy himself a nice Russian bride!
CeCe? Blech! She's useless as to the point of this show. At least the dog got to leave her side. Nate has to stick with her until the end.
7 of 11 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on February 1, 2007 10:53 PM
"I think we all know that you know what the shocker is. Two in the pink, one in the stink? No"
Ha Ha, that's what my husband calls it, but I've always heard two in the goo, one in the poo.
8 of 11 | Posted by amy303_1/2
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Posted on February 2, 2007 4:58 PM
OH MY GOD, Jennylee is seriously annoying the hell out of me. Actually, since the first episode Nate has been my favourite. But his affection for Jennylee really kind of changed my mind. She is definitely one of the dumbest in the house, probably even dumber than Megan (I think she's this season's Brittany (S2)), okay maybe not AS dumb as Cecille. This "relationship" is not gonna last one single day as soon as this competition is over... But, whatever...
I think Megan's line about how great she is at screwing, was definitely THE line of the season...
I don't really know who's my favourite now that Mario & Nadia are gone, too. I hope Jennylee and Neils will leave next episode and then I have to go for Scotter & Megan because Cecille is just... Well...
Really funny when Nate said "he was stepping his foot down". Wow, tough guy *cough, cough*. He should've smacked the hell out of that animal torturer... She's not even a beauty, so what the hell is she doing here?
9 of 11 | Posted by Autumn_Reeser_is_hot
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Posted on February 3, 2007 5:51 AM
ARIS, breathe. In...and out. In...and out. There you go.
10 of 11 | Posted by JohnEDowney
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Posted on February 3, 2007 11:55 AM
That whole bit with: "What are tools?" "What's shocker?" was hilarious. I'm so glad you mentioned it so I could relive it once again.
I guess I'm hoping for Jennylee and Niels to win, but I don't really care as long as it's not Cecille. It's a shame too because I like Nate, but that girl had better not win.
11 of 11 | Posted by Becky
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Posted on February 5, 2007 12:32 PM