Sniff sniff. My summer pleasure is gone. After several hilarious and heartwarming weeks, Beauty and the Geek wrapped up its solid rookie season tonight, and while we all cared who would take home the $250,000, the real question was how ridiculous would Richard be in this final hour. Well, he was pretty crazy, but his behavior wasn't any different than in previous weeks, which might be why this finale -- while sweet and funny -- didn't quite have that spark we saw in the early episodes. Maybe I've sort of become immune to Richard's shenanigans, especially after last week's over-the-top campfire episode (which I apologize for not recapping). Either way, whether you loved him or hated him, Richard is bound to become a small reality TV legend. The Urkel of The Fishbowl.
The big finale opened up with an obligatory look back at the season. I instantly felt all warm and tingly as Brian McFayden's joyfully bland voice narrated us through the ups and downs of living in the mansion. Why look, there's Lauren throwing away her bottle rocket! Hey, there's Caitilin breaking her nail! How now, it's Richard getting his very first massage! So many memories. Awww, it's Joe and Erika. Awww, Chuck's awkward date with Scarlet. Awww, Brad's herpes. Thanks Brian McFayFay. This has been the best opening evah!
Hmmm... oddly missing from this feel-good recap was Scarlet's transformation from sweet flirt to hostile bitch. Seriously, did you see her last week? She made Shawn's NPR voice stretch to vast new levels of soporific tonality. And by the way, I have a bone to pick with you, WB. Smack in the middle of last week's episode -- long before the elimination room -- you went and aired a promo for the reunion show and REVEALED THE FINAL TWO TEAMS! What the f*ck?? Where's your stupid little frog? I want to kill him.
Anyhoo, the recap finally ended with Brian McFayden asking the perennial question, "Who has made the biggest transformation?" Um, actually, shouldn't you be asking, "Who has done the best at random trivia?" Just saying. I mean, Richard makes for good TV, but, um, he hasn't really changed that much, unless you count spooning experience as a major transformation.
With last week's elimination over and done with, Chuck and Caitilin waited anxiously in their suite for the victorious team to return. Chuck in particular was quite nervous because he desperately wanted to see his lovely Scarlet one last time. Sadly, he wouldn't have the chance to whisper sweet nothings about Syria in her ear as Richard and Mindi returned instead.
"We're back!" the duo squealed as they bounced into the room. I kind of liked their entrance. It was like a sitcom from 1973 --you know, maybe a long lost spinoff from Maude called Rich and Mindi. Ricardo Montalban and Catherine Helmond could play their uptight neighbors across the hall, and Charles Nelson Reilly could be their wacky landlord. Man, I would totally watch Rich and Mindi.
Anyway, even though he was a bundle of energy and excitement, Richard confessed, "I didn't look Chuck in the eye because I was afraid that he would karate chop me." Honestly, that would be awesome. Luckily for Richard, Chuck had other pressing matters on his mind. You guessed it: Scarlet. "I felt like the house got a lot bigger and a lot colder," he said sadly, adding, "And my penis just got a lot limper too."
Frustrated that his sweetie pie would no longer be with him, Chuck worked out his aggression by doing some pushups and swiping at the air, Rocky style. Yeah, it was about as intimidating as Billy Ocean singing "When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going." Listen Chuck, you got two nosebleeds on the first episode and your body has all the definition of the Pillsbury Doughboy. Just do what you normally do when you get frustrated: write an essay about Quaker meetings.
Anyway, we moved from this silly montage to Richard, who was now prancing around in red sweatpants and a wife-beater. One word, ladies: HOT. I don't know how Rachel Perry overlooked him for Stripsearch. Something tells me there'll be a nice spread waiting for him in the Men of Reality TV Calendar for 2006...
Well, with Chuck punching the air and Richard wearing a skimpy outfit, it was only a matter of time before these two forces came together for one über-Geek moment. For whatever reason, they began practicing martial arts moves on each other, with Richard telling us, "With the flick of a wrist, he can kill me." Uh, Richard, even a one armed toddler can kill you. It's not that hard, really.
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Comments (19)
Good call on Richard's wallet/briefcase. I was watching and wondering if he was actually stuffing money into one of Mindi's black stillettos.
1 of 19 | Posted by HicksPub | Posted on July 7, 2005 5:48 AM
I love this show... by the way, did anyone catch the new Punk'd this week? Richard was on it-- he walked in VIP style to Allen Iverson's party as Jermaine O'Neal was forced to wait on the sidelines... classic
2 of 19 | Posted by AliCake | Posted on July 7, 2005 8:41 AM
I KELLIED this show! Great social experiment. Glad Chuck/Cait won only because Richard did not really change that much. For such a geek he has very little insight into himself. At least Chuck showed some insight and growth. Besides, I loved his scrungy look when they previewed next week's reunion! He's becoming more beauty and less geek.
Can't wait to see next season.
3 of 19 | Posted by graceintherace | Posted on July 7, 2005 9:14 AM
I was very pleased with this show. It didn't even matter who won...it was just entertaining.
But B-side, I thought for sure you'd have some choice screen shots of Richard when he was talking about beating Chuck. He had the facial expressions, the hand gestures....come on! My sister even turned to me last night and said, "Oh TV Gasm will have great screen shots of this!"
4 of 19 | Posted by Nicole | Posted on July 7, 2005 9:43 AM
Did you notice that Richard referred to Brian as "The host" Clearly he doesn't watch MTV. No wonder he didn't know who the Miz was.
5 of 19 | Posted by mellymel | Posted on July 7, 2005 9:47 AM
I wish there would have been some way for Mindi to win...she was always my favorite.
B-Side...I did get a chuckle when she reference Alanis cause Mr. Ex-VJ didn't seem to get it
6 of 19 | Posted by Jen | Posted on July 7, 2005 10:01 AM
I enjoyed the show for what it was, but I'm pretty much over it...
Mellymel...I thought it was hysterical when Richard called Brian "the host" true classic geek moment...
7 of 19 | Posted by smithie | Posted on July 7, 2005 11:49 AM
I liked the show, it was kinda fun.
But really, could it be possible that the winners could get together? They really seem to compliment each other.
8 of 19 | Posted by debbie | Posted on July 7, 2005 12:35 PM
If Richard and Chuch had a baby, it would look like Jared Fogle.
9 of 19 | Posted by christa | Posted on July 7, 2005 12:47 PM
first of all, I really hope that J-Unit and B-side are writers for a living....because you both crack me up so much. I always look forward to coming on here to see what you guys have to say. So very, very clever.
Second, I'm glad Richard didn't win. Sorry, but he's too annoying for words. Good show, though. I'm looking forward to next week as well.
10 of 19 | Posted by Christy | Posted on July 7, 2005 2:37 PM
Mindy really deserved to win...she single-handedly brought her and Richard out of all three elimination rooms. (or elimination chambers, as Rich says)
Caitilin is so unnecessarily sappy. Honestly, there was no reason to cry that much every week.
Good call on Scarlett turning psycho-bitch last week. She had no use for Chuck anymore since he wouldn't be able to save her from the elimination room this time.
I don't know if anyone else agrees wih me here but by the finale of this show I downright HATED Chuck and was very much rooting against him. That pompous prick washing his hands as if going into surgery when cooking with Cait...we get it Chuck, you want to be a doctor! Enough with the condescending "diagnosis" of Richard's psyche and your SAT-word pretentious commentary on every challenge already!! Honestly I think Richard became a much more social and nice person than Chuck did by the end of the show. But it comforts me to know that, judging by his experience with "Scar", he so easily is going to be sucked dry of all money by his future manipulative trophy wife.
11 of 19 | Posted by Molly | Posted on July 7, 2005 5:35 PM
Chuck sucked, but Richard sucked more. Out of all the people on the show, Richard was the one that looked like he was on an audition. It was a reality show, but he really didn't take it seriously. Not everybody was in it for the experience, and some looked like they were just in it for the money, but Richard just did his schtick week in and week out. Surprise, surprise, he shows up in Los Angeles, and ends up on Punk'd.
My winning dream team would have been Mindi and Joe Hanson.
12 of 19 | Posted by J-Unit | Posted on July 7, 2005 6:37 PM
I watched StripSearch tonight. It was definitely Lauren at the bachelorette party and there was another big-toothed blonde with her. I wonder if she has a sister.
I don't think there was much footage that wasn't already in the previews last week, unfortunately. She didn't speak, but at one point I think she talked on her cell phone. It was very sneaky of her. I'm now going to keep an eye out for her in the background of every television program that I watch.
13 of 19 | Posted by burka | Posted on July 7, 2005 8:27 PM
Mindi and Joe Hanson... Priceless!
14 of 19 | Posted by Lyndsay | Posted on July 8, 2005 6:11 AM
Was it me, or was there a big ol' spot of blood on Chuck's shirt during the final elimination quiz? Did he get an unpublicized bloody nose and get some ON HIS SHIRT? Ewwwwwww......
I don't think either guy made a huge breakthrough, no. Both women, though, seemed to allow themselves to break out of the bimbo mold...though I suspect they're both pretty smart chicks to begin with. And Mindi's a saint for having chosen Richard to begin with. She totally should have won.
Yay, to the reunion show next week!!
15 of 19 | Posted by Jess | Posted on July 8, 2005 8:40 AM
Mindi should have ripped off caitilin's top and made out with her. Really.
16 of 19 | Posted by JohnnyRingo | Posted on July 9, 2005 2:41 AM
After the episode it had text on the screen detailing how the first tie-breaker question was edited out? dunno if i'm allowed to ask this here, but does anyone know why? dosen't have to be specific, but just a general idea? ie it was not exciting? or inapproprate?
17 of 19 | Posted by Joe | Posted on July 9, 2005 11:15 PM
Hey Jess, not only did Chuck's shirt have blood on it, but the stains moved back and forth from the right side of his shirt to the left as the show went on...FREAKY !!!
I love Mindi and agree with you that she is a saint ( or maybe she's the one on Ritalin ! )
18 of 19 | Posted by chris | Posted on July 11, 2005 7:32 AM
I WAS HOPING RICH AND MINDI WOULD WIN SO WE COULD SEE WHAT RICHARD WOULD DO WHEN MINDI MAD OUT WITH HIM
19 of 19 | Posted by EMILY | Posted on July 13, 2005 6:52 AM