Okay, kiddies, this is it. Our social experiment has come to a close. Tonight is the season finale of Beauty and The Geek. Can you stand the excitement? Have the last several weeks of tension, cattiness and drama proved too much for your weak stomach? What do you mean, no drama except for one time when two people made out in front of someone? Oh yeah, this season was real boring. Well, let's all raise a glass to the final episode. Thanks for not much.
A title comes up right off the bat that announces it's the night of elimination. Wow, we're jumping right in, eh? It must be one grueling hour of really tough questions, such as, "If Paris Hilton makes six sex tapes with four partners, how many sex tapes does that total?" I would hope that at least Sam could answer that one.
The pairs descend the mansion stairs in their Sunday best and Handsome Host tells Dave and Jasmine that no one expected them to make it this far. Hell yeah, that hits the nail on the head! I couldn't even believe Jasmine got on the show as a beauty, with those skunk highlights. He also says that no one expected the show's first male beauty/female geek team to make it so far. And I say, yeah, except ALL of us. I would have put money on that during the first episode. They need those two to keep it interesting.
But don't get too comfy! This game is changing again! It must be the Return of Saturn for "Beauty and the Geek." This time, the winner will not be decided by a final elimination round. OMG, dudes. Then what ever will they do? I sure as hell can't guess (especially after seeing the horrid past season of "The Apprentice").
Another title fades up over black with a scary ghost-breathy sound effect that reads, "Three Days Earlier." Ooohhh, non-linear style. Crazy! Who directed this episode, Quentin Tarantino? I'm not exactly sure why they decided to go with Halloween-sounding audio effects, because this show is anything but scary. In fact, it just shows us all how good people can be when they get past their stereotypes. But okay, I'll roll with it.
So it's three days earlier, and the final two teams meet in the study, which now seems so large and empty without a slew of girls in low-cut shirts and guys with pocket protectors. Aww, I really miss Joshua. H.H. announces that now each team gets to know each other in a different light, 'cause they all get to go to their hometowns with each other.
As the couples pack up and look forward to their trip home, Jasmine expresses her profound desire to go shopping. Well, I can understand that. If you're addicted to something (I completely sympathize, I am afflicted with shopaholicism myself), this must have been a rough road to travel alone. No credit cards to swipe, no cash to throw about. It must be hard. Endearingly, both teams critique each others' wardrobes and pick out outfits for each other to wear when they meet their respective families.
The first town to which we arrive is Bahstin, home of Dave, Nicole, the Red Sox and one of the greatest sitcoms in history. First we get to meet Dave's slew of LARP-ing friends, and they're exactly as you've been picturing them in your mind.
"Norm!"
A cluster of bearish-looking fatties. Okay, they're not "fatties," but let's just say Dave's the svelte one of the group. Dave brings Jasmine 'round proudly, like a young man showing off his new Russian mail-order bride, and she greets them pleasantly wearing a refined, fetching candy necklace.
She's like a cartoon koala princess gone awry.
Again, she voices her craving for a shopping expedition, but no such luck with Dave 'N' Co. They're goin' a-LARPing today. They find an open field and lug out their extensive collection of homemade fencing equipment. One chick even has a suitcase full of game gear. The boys suit up in faux armor and bow/arrow combos and the ladies don flower crowns and bustiers, and yes, they basically look like a bunch of Ren-Faire rejects.
And you thought there were no rejects.
One chick (I'll just call her Mary) invents a whole story for Dave and Jasmine about working for the queen, whose daughter is sick. She whips out her sword and warns ominously, "We should be very quiet. There could be DANGEROUS THINGS." Jas looks appropriately freaked out.
"Like a throng of weirdos coming at me with wooden swords?"
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Comments (5)
i've already voted for dave and jasmin....
1 of 5 | Posted by kevintheomanharris | Posted on December 1, 2007 7:10 AM
"My eyebrows alone can Judo-chop you!"
I disagree about the show not having enough drama. I was more hooked on this year than last year's... It seemed like, as soon as one thing ended, something else began.
But, damn. I didn't want America to choose. Ah, well. Dave and Jasmine, it is!
I was a bit weirded out by Nicole in this ep. And as much as I love role-playing, I like doing it in the comfort of my own room. The look on that girl's face when Dave said that he played with swords...
2 of 5 | Posted by Trey | Posted on December 2, 2007 3:59 AM
And that quote... cut off my arrows. I was just saying that I seriously bust a gut laughing at it. Darn you!
3 of 5 | Posted by Trey | Posted on December 2, 2007 4:01 AM
im so pissed they are doing the america voting thing! i think it's lazy and quite frankly, america never votes the right way. like those challenges america voted on earlier in the season- they were so NOT the best challenges of all the options. ah well.
4 of 5 | Posted by isthisawkward | Posted on December 3, 2007 6:27 AM
Um, is it just me, or did that pic of her in the baby catcher make her look like she has a GIANORMOUS vajayjay???
5 of 5 | Posted by pappy | Posted on December 3, 2007 9:30 AM