Previously on Big Brother, not enough people appreciated my favorite joke
Team Chris T.
When we last left our intrepid houseguests they were sitting on boogie boards (or are they Dr. Will boards? I always get those two mixed up) and hanging on for dear life as nearly six gallons of water trickled toward them at nearly 2 miles an hour down a slope tipped to a precarious 12 degree angle! Sheila is understandably terrified stating that she almost "drownded" once while on a vacation in Hawaii. No doubt while trying to earn a job from a big time movie producer as he sat in a pool.
In addition to having to sit on a board and hold on to a rope, Sheila is dealing with the onslaught of emotions that have come from her last minute retribution from Moose and Ryan. Last week Sheila was a sure bet to go home until Moose had the bug-eyed foresight to convince Ryan that it was a smarter move to keep her in the house since she's old, weak and will let you stick it anywhere. This sent Sharon to the Jury House with a big goofy smile on her face for some reason.
While hanging on for dear life, lest she fall to her fate in the one-foot kiddie pool behind her, Ryan and Moose take every opportunity to taunt Sheila to make her give up. Sheila is determined to stay on the board as long as it takes so that she can win to make her son proud and provide him the life that she thinks he deserves. She states this right before she gives up. Ryan and Moose are left to battle it out and Moose, determined to show his loyalty to his bro-dawg-home slice Ryan, lets go shortly after Sheila which makes Ryan the victor of this portion of the three-section competition.
I'm about to drownededed.
Sheila and Adam are forced to take place in the second round of the competition while Ryan simply lays back and plays with his junk white picturing Jen wearing a bikini made of ham. The second portion of the final HOH competition consists of a giant hamster wheel attached to a maze containing balls with names written on them just like the one Victoria Beckham uses to work out. The balls have the names of previous HOHs written on them and Sheila and Ryan must manipulate the hamster wheel so that the balls fall out of the maze to be placed on a board in the order in which they held the HOH title. If that weren't difficult enough they must do all of this while under heavy sniper fire from Bosnian terrorists. The player that succeeds in the shortest amount of time and without stepping on any of the deadly landmines will be the victor.
After both players are finished Ryan comes out to read the final times and there are an unfortunate amount of S's that Ryan has to recite. Sheila comes in at "thirty three minuteth and thix theconds" while Moose, having lived in a cage with his very own wheel while being studied at the Institution, comes in with "fourteen minuteth and fifty-five theconds." This means Moose and Ryan will be going bulbous, misshapen head to little-person-looking head in the third and final round to determine who will be the new Grand Puba HOH.
After the competition Sheila takes her chance to remind Moose that she has been nothing but pleasant ("He's so ugly and his breath stinks") and loyal ("Adam, I nominate you for eviction") and giving ("Adam, I just visited the Big Brother nurse today and you may want to get yourself tested for herpes, genital warts and possibly rabies just to be safe") through the entire game. Moose is non-committal, saying that he doesn't like to count his chickens before they are hatched but has no problem eating the fuzzy little chicks right afterward, beak, yellow fuzz and all.
I've beeen good to yeow.
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Comments (15)
So long leather tits. I guess Scott Baio got the last laugh after all.
So what do you guys think, which meathead has the most votes? If people base their vote upon playing the game and winning competitions, then Ryan has it locked up. But there are an awful lot of screwy folks in that jury house, so who knows what they'll decide.
1 of 15 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on April 24, 2008 5:12 AM
Great recap Fozzie.
I dearly hope that Ryan does NOT win. It's bad enough that skanky Jen will get her hands on at least $50K, much less half a mill. GAG.
Last night when watching Sheila being interviewed by Julie my 11 yr old daughter said, "She better not get Julie wet w/ her tears, she might malfunction", lol, kids, they learn snark way too early, lol.
2 of 15 | Posted by renoblondee | Posted on April 24, 2008 7:56 AM
Fozzie, God bless you. BB gets really boring at the end when there are only a few people left, and this was the funniest recap of the season. I'm still laughing about the sex with Sheila and an actual cougar joke.
Ryan actually backed up his statment to the Chenbot that he'd take the person who was deserving to the final two, and not the one he stood a better chance of beating. I'm happy that of the three least objectionable people in the house (Sharon being the third), two of them are in the finals. I think Ryan is more deserving by a narrow margin, but either one deserves to win.
Compared with last season, this is a much better final two. At least they got where they are by being likeable and smart in their scheming, rather than through bullying and intimidation, and whining and showmancing, like the deplorable Donatos of BB8.
Jen is pretty hot, but I give her and Ryan about 2 weeks outside the house once this thing is over. (A) once he sees the tapes he will be disgusted with her all over again, and (B) based on the fans at least on this site, both straight girls and gay guys, 'ol Rye Bread is going to have lots of options out there and won't need to stick with Jen, that beyotch.
3 of 15 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on April 24, 2008 8:17 AM
I'm still unsure if Adam is (a) a genius; (b) an idiot savant; or (c) just an idiot (albeit a likeable one). What do you think, folks?
4 of 15 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on April 24, 2008 8:23 AM
"Jen in a bikini made of ham."
Oh, you just know Ryan will figure out a way to make this happen!
I actually kind of like the final 2. This whole bunch of hamsters set the bar pretty low, and while Adam creeped me out a LOT at the beginning, he kind of grew on me. Ryan, except for the seemingly bad judgement to hook up with Jen, doesn't seem like a bad guy (relatively speaking). They both worked hard to get to the end, and deserve a win.
My gut says that Adam will get the votes, because I think this jury will vote too personally. But a good performance by Ryan during jury questioning could sway the votes his way, too.
Ah well, less than 3 months until BB10!
5 of 15 | Posted by ChicagoGal | Posted on April 24, 2008 8:26 AM
I think Adam has it in the bag. Especially since Nat knows Adam voted to keep her, and now Sharon knows Ryan was lying to her and working with Adam. Of course Sheila will vote for Adam and James hates Ryan (he said it when Julie interviewed him). That's 4 for Adam right there.
6 of 15 | Posted by serjen | Posted on April 24, 2008 8:48 AM
"...diagnosed with cancer of the puppy...she can't get herself together to speak without sounding like Jim Bruer as Goatboy."
I am in class right now and I just laughed in the middle of lecture. We are going over Vietnam & Nixon -not a funny subject!
7 of 15 | Posted by isabell | Posted on April 24, 2008 9:49 AM
"Chelsia is most embarrassed to have sacrificed the prize money for a "showmance," however is unregretful about the time she told Amanda to smell her crotch to see if it smelled. "
For those of you wondering: yes she did do this.
I am happy it's Ryan and Adam in the final two. Single mom and all she still did absolute crap in the house to get that far. Adam will probably win because the jury members also didn't like Jen.
Go Adam!
8 of 15 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on April 24, 2008 12:10 PM
I am in class right now and I just laughed in the middle of lecture. We are going over Vietnam & Nixon -not a funny subject!
What could be funnier than Nixon?
9 of 15 | Posted by OYWHATNEXT | Posted on April 24, 2008 12:11 PM
First off:
Isabell, your class is WAY more important than TVGASM or BB9. Turn off you computer and pay attention to your teacher.
Second:
You would think with 1/2 million dollars on the line Sheila would be able to overcome her fear of drowing in a kiddie pool but no...
I don't hate Sheila but if she can't even "hang on" she doesn't really deserve to be in the final 2.
Baller or Ryan? Either one is fine with me to win.
10 of 15 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on April 24, 2008 12:21 PM
My favorite part of this episode was when Sheila let go of the rope and flailed down into the pool like an old lady. My friend and I rewound over and over. She looked so funny!!! And you could hear Adam say "Bye Sheila!" Funny!!!
I actually felt bad for Natalie last night. I really did. She looked so sad and pathetic. She needed a hug. However, Matt was funny, too, so I couldn't feel too sorry for her. Guess Christ don't like you using his name unless you go thru his lawyers, Nat!
11 of 15 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on April 24, 2008 1:01 PM
MATT IS A LOSER, HE HIS MAD AT NATALIE, CAUSE HE EXPECTED HER TO WIN, THEN HE COULD GET SOMETHING FROM HER, AS PATHETIC AS NATALIE WAS, MATT IS WORSE CAUSE HE HIS SCUM
12 of 15 | Posted by nflow | Posted on April 24, 2008 1:11 PM
PLEASE tell me SOMEone heard Nat say, when first shown on camers "RATTIE" instead of Mattie.
LMAOOOOOOO
Way to go, Nat!
13 of 15 | Posted by nycjude | Posted on April 24, 2008 10:34 PM
While I really have no problems with either of these boys winning the game, I think Adam is going to take it. He was just a lot nicer throughout the game, and the jury is going to remember that. He got stuck with Shelia in the beginning and having made it through that alive, he deserves to win!
14 of 15 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on April 26, 2008 1:46 PM
For what it is worth, I really did like your Team Chris T joke!
Go A Baller!!!!
15 of 15 | Posted by BRaps | Posted on April 28, 2008 5:36 AM