Hey, Flipit and Schoonie here. The Big Brother 8 cast was released yesterday, and we have a lot to say about them. Who are they? Do any of them have any idea what they've signed up for? Who is a bigger douche, Joe or Dick (or Nick? or Mike? or...any of the other guys, who are all also douches)? Let's check them out!
Amber Is a 27-year-old cocktail waitress from Las Vegas, NV. She serves drinks at Caesar's Palace, and her relationship status is listed as "separated".
Flipit: Amber says that everyone just seems to love her and she doesn't know why. Hullo. Who doesn't love a cocktail waitress when they're at Caesars Palace? Valley Girl alert! Amber says she's a little weasel, but you'd never know it. Anyone who's ever ordered a drink in a casino knows you're a weasel, Amber. I'd cover my quarter bucket if I saw this girl coming towards me. That's all I'm saying.
Schoonie: No shit. By the way, pretty much all cocktail waitresses in Vegas are "separated". I went to Vegas in March with some friends and married three, maybe four of them while I was there. I owe a shitload in alimony. You don't even KNOW. Anyway, she reminds me of Diane, and I'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing. She could be awesome, or she could cry a whole bunch, fall in love with a bland and boring twin and tell everyone that she smokes too much pot. Your call, Amber!
Carol is a 21-year-old student from Lawrence, Kansas. She's single, and also, she wasn't even in the Early Show preview video. Since the CBS website isn't exactly illuminating either, I'm just going to assume that she's boring. Hi, first voted out! Or the winner! Whichever one you end up being!
Dick is a 44-year-old professional douche from...LA! I am blown away by that information.
Flipit: Dick has run nightclubs, bars, tattoo parlors, crack houses, meth labs, and prostitution rings. I'll give him two days before the shakes set in. Dick fancies himself a playa and tells us manipulating girls comes naturally to him. Convincing drunk teenagers you don't have an STD isn't a manipulation, Dick, it's a dangerous lie. I hope the Chenbot leaves some Clorox Anti-bacterial spray by the toilet, cuz this guy looks like one big germ ready to spread.
Schoonie: Anyone who says that "manipulating girls is a way of life" for them is probably lying. And boring. And tool-y. And he introduces himself as "Evil Dick", which means he is officially the first contestant on Big Brother to be Dead To Me before the show even starts. I'm telling you right now, I'd bet my 401k that Mike Boogie and this guy are personal acquaintances. In fact, I bet Mike like, brought him to Endemol and pushed him in front of Alison Grodner. Dick has the same "I'm still doing this amazingly poseur-y thing like fifteen years after I should have stopped" aura about him, too. How do all these guys know each other? Is there a club somewhere where people like him go to hang out and network about their shady investments and exchange douche-y contact information? Oh yeah: it's called the Big Brother house.
Jen Jen, 23, is like, a bikini model from Beverly Hills, but at the same time, she's like a computer nerd.
Flipit: Riiight. My guess from knowing this girl for five seconds is that her idea of being a computer geek is having lots of MySpace friends and being able to both totally chat with like six guys at one time and work a PayPal linked webcam. I don't know if I'd substitute Jen for the Geek Squad, but if you want your wings hot and on time, this is your girl.
Schoonie: Whatever. Her shirt says "Jenius" which I approve of. The CBS site says that she's a nanny, which...wah? I thought that all OB-GYNs made you sign a contract right after the baby is delivered that expressly forbids you from leaving your child with an unsupervised Big Brother contestant. I might be wrong about that, though...?
Daniele with one "l" is a 20-year-old Hooter's waitress from Huntington Beach. She is single, and also super hot.
Schoonie: She looks like the walking physical embodiment of about three-fourths of my entire dating history, so this, of course, means that I love her immediately. Also it means that she is going to wait until we are going steady to show me the crazy. And then I'm going to have to play a game of chicken on the cliffside with Keanu Reeves to win her heart. Oh, wait: that's Paula Abdul's "Rush, Rush" video. Nevermind.
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Comments (15)
NOT a spoiler - just supposition: Lawrence, KS is home of Kansas University and Haysville, KS is basically a suburb of Wichita, KS, which is approximately 2-1/2 hours south of Lawrence. I'm guessing that both Kansas girls are from the Wichita area, but the one listed from Lawrence is just going to school here. They probably listed them that way as a pitiful attempt to hide that they are one of the enemy pairs. And yup, I'm from Lawrence, I have absolutely no idea who she is (it's a town of about 100,000) and I wouldn't know where to look to find out information about her. However, if she mentions anything Lawrence-related on the show, I'll try to put it in context if necessary. Love this show. Can't wait for more BB TVgasm coverage!
1 of 15 | Posted by JayhawkAnne
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Posted on June 29, 2007 3:29 PM
OM goddness I love you two together already and Flipit is right Schoonie... you should not have given the spoiler away like that.. there are ways to hide them a litle better so the average reader who cannot look away can use a bit more self control as we come upon a possible spoiler..... learn how that works please.....
This household looks like what we have been waiting for... wall to wall crazies....
You guys need to recap your tour through the new house.... just to entertain us while we wile away the next 6 days......
2 of 15 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on June 29, 2007 3:49 PM
OMG
OMG
I am soooo f---ing happy it's Big Bro time! I can't wait!
This year should be good...I am excited to see a new crop of faces after last year's (kinda lame) "All Star's".
It's going to be interesting to see how the houseguests use their drama with their enemies in their favor with the other guests.
3 of 15 | Posted by anniedawg25
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Posted on June 29, 2007 4:06 PM
Oh yay! I can't wait for BB to start. I'm trying to convert/corrupt as many people at work as I can to continue this obsession with me so that I have an excuse for gossiping about it all day long!!
Not sure I like the idea of the rivals twist. But if the America's Player choices we get to vote on are cool (long shot), that could be a fun little twist.
And Schoonie... Lisi in the house? Now THAT would be hilarious! And annoying. Ah, the possibilities.
4 of 15 | Posted by ChicagoGal
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Posted on June 29, 2007 5:50 PM
OMG OMG....I am so excited. It's sad, really, that I get so excited over a tv show such as this. I am ready for it to start so I can read the recaps here!
5 of 15 | Posted by angie
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Posted on June 30, 2007 8:02 AM
Big Brother, Schoonie and FlipIt.... What a freakin Party! This is gonna be one hell of a summer!!!!!
6 of 15 | Posted by CrazyTrain
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Posted on June 30, 2007 9:17 AM
Schoonie wrote:
"I'm telling you right now, I'd bet my 401k that Mike Boogie and this guy are personal acquaintances. In fact, I bet Mike like, brought him to Endemol and pushed him in front of Alison Grodner. Dick has the same "I'm still doing this amazingly poseur-y thing like fifteen years after I should have stopped" aura about him, too. How do all these guys know each other?"
Well Schoonie, you are brilliant. Apparently Evil Dick works at one of the L.A. bars co-owned by Boogie. For all our sakes, let us pray that they don't share a personality.
7 of 15 | Posted by princesspeapod
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Posted on July 1, 2007 1:16 AM
Schoonie wrote:
"I'm telling you right now, I'd bet my 401k that Mike Boogie and this guy are personal acquaintances. In fact, I bet Mike like, brought him to Endemol and pushed him in front of Alison Grodner. Dick has the same "I'm still doing this amazingly poseur-y thing like fifteen years after I should have stopped" aura about him, too. How do all these guys know each other?"
Well Schoonie, you are brilliant. Apparently Evil Dick works at one of the L.A. bars co-owned by Boogie. For all our sakes, let us pray that they don't share a personality.
8 of 15 | Posted by princesspeapod
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Posted on July 1, 2007 1:20 AM
Flipit and Schnoonie, you are officially the new B-Side and J-Unit. Look forward to the summer.
9 of 15 | Posted by nerrawllehctim
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Posted on July 1, 2007 7:16 AM
I am a friend of Schoonie's, in fact he is one of the groomsman in my wedding this fall, so I feel the need to stick up for him for a second. I think I know which member of his dating history he is referring to when commenting about Daniele, and I have to say she does bear an uncanny resemblance...at least in that picture. Schoonie...I'll take large bills only as payment for having your back...or one kick-ass wedding present...you pick.
10 of 15 | Posted by Nicole2282
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Posted on July 2, 2007 6:10 AM
Bam! Take that, flipit. And I totally did not pay her to say that. Yet.
11 of 15 | Posted by schoonie
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Posted on July 2, 2007 8:45 AM
WHOO HOO! Big Brotha is back, baby! My turn to control the remote for the whole summer! And Schoonie, I absolutely love you - YOU ROCK! Dueces!
12 of 15 | Posted by lexxi1129
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Posted on July 2, 2007 9:07 AM
Great uhhh cap. I guess it wasn't exactly a recap yet. But you guys have got me hooked. Very funny. As good as the first couple times I read B Side. Glad to know there are other people out there that are actually excited that I have another 21 hours of BB to watch this summer becasue I have Showtime. Boy, do I need a life.
13 of 15 | Posted by chief113
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Posted on July 3, 2007 4:22 PM
SOME PEOPLE WILL LIE ABOUT ANYTHING TO GET ON THE SHOW, I LIVE IN WALDORF AND WALDORF IS PRIMARY WHITE, SO HOW SHE SAY SHE ONLY BEEN AROUND BLACK PEOPLE,IM SURE SHE BEEN TO ST CHARLES MALL, AND EVERYONE IN WALDORF WILL KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT, I WILL NOT BE VOTING FOR HER!!!
14 of 15 | Posted by RISA
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Posted on July 3, 2007 4:25 PM
SOME PEOPLE WILL LIE ABOUT ANYTHING TO GET ON THE SHOW, I LIVE IN WALDORF AND WALDORF IS PRIMARY WHITE, SO HOW SHE SAY SHE ONLY BEEN AROUND BLACK PEOPLE,IM SURE SHE BEEN TO ST CHARLES MALL, AND EVERYONE IN WALDORF WILL KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT, I WILL NOT BE VOTING FOR HER!!!
15 of 15 | Posted by RISA
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Posted on July 3, 2007 4:26 PM