This season they've been poking fun of various Houseguests before the credits, and this week does not disappoint: right before the graphics we get treated to Ratalie screaming her head off in fear of the dragonfly.

The Camel Toe Of Terror!

We go to color and the little helpful box tells us it's Day 55 inside the house. Speaking of color:

Someone's getting fashion cues from Meshach Taylor circa 1987.

Kevin and Ratalie promise Jeff he's safe, then Natalie turns right around and tells us she wants Jeff out. Michele sees herself as the lone wolf. Russell may be gone from the house, but his metaphors live on.

Sappy acoustic music plays as Dumb and Dumber discuss the latest events. "I let you down," says Jordan, and Jeff is passive-aggressively not disagreeing with her. "I'm a winner, and winners win. You gotta prove yourself. Now's my time." Jeff then explains that he was born in a small town, and when the rain would fall down, he would look out his window, planning to break away, take a midnight train going anywhere, spread his wings and move to LA where dreams always come true. Jeff has apparently decided to try writing an American Idol hit song next. While he's dreaming, he tells Jordan she can certainly try and win the veto herself if she wants.

Livin' On A Prayer

Meanwhile, Kevin enters his HOH room and sees the long-awaited door with a question mark on it. The HOH TV tells him that if he wants to "release" $10,000, he has to put his hand in a hole. Well, they definitely picked the right Houseguest to do this. "It's too easy," says Kevin. "$10K to stick my hand in a hole?" Hey Kevin, at least make me work for it a little. He finally decides to open the door, and I hope there's a toilet behind it because he's dancing around like he has to go potty real bad. Inside is a big not-at-all-ominous-looking box with a hole. Big enough to hide a Houseguest, even. Well, a short one anyway. He shoves his hand up in there and squeals like a stuck pig.

Cappy? Is that you in there?

Before we can see what's going on, there's a commercial break.

You know it's bad when you're jonesing for some Amazing Race to make you feel smart.

When we return, Kevin is indeed stuck in the box like Pooh in the honey jar, and a TV next to the box shows the back yard, where $1 bills have started raining down on the other Houseguests. Outside, Jordan says her dad always told her money didn't fall from on trees. "And now I got money fallin' from the sky. Dad, you were very wrong." Jeff is meanwhile stuffing bills into any available crevice. "I know where the phrase comes 'dirty money' now."

And I have a sudden urge to soak my wallet in a vat of Purel.

Kevin is helpless and is forced to watch all the idiots on the TV chasing money. I guess now he knows how we all feel. The screen and tells him that the key to release him is hidden somewhere in the house. So he has to wait for someone to leave the money and go find the key for him. Good luck with that, because it's all about the Washingtons out there. Eventually Ratalie wanders up. She says she'll find the key for him... and goes right back out to the back yard to pick up some more loot. HAHAHAHA. Kevin sees this on the screen, and thinks that if it was Jessie bent over stuck in the box, Ratalie would totally drop the money and come running to help. Aaaaand picturing Kevin picturing Jessie bent over isn't doing anything for me. Next!

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Posted in Big Brother by Copyhacker at 3:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)
Last Comment: itchy on Sep 2, 2009 01:19 PM.