Josh starts off the show by telling us how glad he was to see Allison go. After all, she's the second woman he's turned his bitter queen psycho ass on, and it's the second time the sheep have followed his lead and kicked out exactly who he wanted them to. This guy's got some kinda charm, eh? Matt hated Allison too, but he was sad when Ryan almost left, because he's "my boy". If Matty calls you his "boy", you should be very afraid. You'll be nominated fo sho.

Then we get a flashback of the moment that Ryan and Allison stood at the front door ready to leave before the siren went off and Allison went all apeshit like she got the little yodeler guy all the way up the mountain on Price is Right. How awesome was it to watch that stupid skank get booted twice in an episode? I almost forgave BB for the Donatos in that moment. I said almost. Anyway, it was great. Thank you, Grodner. I owe you a cold one.

I'm so doing this to Grodner's leg if I ever run into her.

When the housemates found out that they would no longer have to play as partners, reactions were mixed. Allison just kept screaming like someone set her gigantor eyelashes on fire while this all went on, so I missed it the first time. Thanks for the ten minute rehash, CBS! Sheila and Moose, of course, pretended they were psyched to be rid of each other, but I think we all know the truth. Those two are made for each other in a sick way. The only other couple I have ever had this exact reaction to is Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas. A couple of years ago, when they sold pictures of their baby to the tabloids for millions of dollars, I made simultaneous "ew" and "aw" sounds. They're pigs, but they're rich pigs and what other pair would be so shallow and greedy as to come up with such a brilliant idea? EWAWWW. What was my point? Oh yeah. Sheila and Moose are gross. And cute. But mostly gross.

Matt tells us he's so psyched he doesn't have to work with his paaatna anymore. Congrats! The only likable thing about you has just been taken away! Go you! I know some of you don't like Nat cuz she's an insecure, needy slut, but I find her charming. That's why this look on her face almost made me curl up into the fetal position and squeeze a couple out.

If a painting of a big breasted mermaid with cuts all over her body is on the walls next time you get your coffee at Bikini Barista's, don't be surprised.

I feel better again when we are re-shown the montage of the HG's unanimously evicting Allison with giant, unabashed smiles on their faces. The only one who pretended she gave a crap was Sheila, and we all know how sincere that crazy pants is. Note that she still voted Al's ass out. This is all fun and games for me so far, because after rehashing Allison's return to the Indian Casino from whence she came, I get to again see the look on Joshuah's face when Ryan won HOH. Karma's a c word, sometimes.

L
O
L

Nat immediately finds Matty Poo and tries to unzip his pants and he's all oh hell no ho back off. She chalks it all up to immature boy love. You know how when a guy pulls your pig tails or punches you in the face, it means he's really in love with you? I see a happy, healthy future for Nat. Just make sure the bath towels are always even and you'll be fine, hon.

Things are equally as uneasy in the Hobo Hank and Chelsia department. She says that it's awkward being around him now and she doesn't know if she can look at him the same way. Dude, it's not like he did gay porn or something. You can still be friends with the guy. Nope. She runs out of the room and flirts with both Ryan and Matty Poo while James sits in the other room and stews.

But I already put aside enough cardboard to build us a dream home!

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Posted in Big Brother by Flipit at 4:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: featherhead on Mar 11, 2008 05:27 AM.