Sheila will no longer be sleeping in the same bed as Moose, which puts a real live smile on her face. She's actually really pretty like that. I know, I can't believe I just said that either. She goes to lay around and talk to Ryan and Matty Poo, who get the hell out of there as fast as they can to talk in the kitchen. Matt congratulates his boi and apologizes for voting against him. Ryan is a big sucker, as we all know, and decides to not only forgive him, but form an official alliance with him. They bring Moose and James into it, and Matt starts pointing at pictures on the wall and saying "you're gone! You're gone! You're gone!" Hobo Hank, who seems to be the only guy with half a brain at this point, tells us that he's not fallin' for it and is willing to jump train cars at a moment's notice.
Never trust a man in a pink jacket with the collar popped.
Later, Nat comes upon an amazing realization and brings Ryan over to the guinea pig aquarium to share it with him. You see that cube thing in the middle? It has three colors. Ryan sweetly explains that there are actually four colors. She doesn't believe him, even as she's staring at it, so he has her count on her fingers as he says "yellow, green, red, blue." She nods and waves it off. Well that doesn't matter anyway, because there are 27 wood blocks in there and there are also 27 letters in the alphabet.
He stops her mid theory and informs her that there are actually 26 letters in the alphabet. Again, she doesn't believe him and pulls out her trusty fingers to prove her point. "W, X, Y, and Z". Woops. "And" isn't a letter? I love this girl more with every passing second. We never did hear her theory, but my guess is it was stunningly brilliant. In a breast implanted Rain Man kind of way.
Man, what an asshole.
Time for the food competition! The HG's pick colored bandanas to choose teams and Nat dives for blue because she knows it's Matty Poo's favorite color. He tells us she weaseled her way in there, but she says that he let her have it because he secretly dreams of impregnating her with giant toothed, lying, misogynist babies. The backyard is set up like an extremely low rent version of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. They have to get letters out of plastic kiddie pools filled with chocolate and spell out food items. Josh tells us that this challenge is crucial because he is on a no carb diet. Did you hear that, God? I hope so, because I am a little sick of his muffin top hanging over his bikini briefs every other shot.
Nat tells her team that she's an awesome speller, but Matty Poo reminds her that she thought there were 27 letters in the alphabet. Hey, that doesn't mean anything! Fine. Spell cereal. "C E R E L". HAHAH. Dear God, thank you for inventing Natalie. Love, Flipit. The teams stay even until Sheila jumps in the pool and can't figure out one single word. Chelsia screams her head off, and the red team falls way behind. Lucky for them, the blue team loses their chalk, giving them a shot at evening the score. Sheila, though, gets another turn, which hands the blue team a win. When you lose to Nat's team on a spelling challenge, you know you suck.
After hunting Ryan down and kissing his ass, promising to never ever mess with him again if he doesn't get nominated for eviction this week, Joshuah treats us to a long dance number. Ugh. Sometimes I really feel for the guys who have to sit behind the mirrors and watch this crap all day and night. Interesting fact: Josh can make his man boobs twirl in opposite directions. Impressive? Yes.
But just because he's extremely gifted doesn't mean I have to like him.
Ryan, Matt, Moose, and Hobo Hank gather in the HOH suite to talk about who Ryan should put on the block. First, he goes with Sheila and Sharon, which is kinda dumb. Sheila has no game play whatsoever, plus no one likes her. Sharon has become bff's with Josh, who the guys all hate. Why are they a threat? Someone floats Chelsia's name, and James is quick to say that what needs to be done needs to be done and he's no longer aligned with her. Finally, Josh's name comes up. Why did it take that long, seriously? Big Brother 9: Stab in the Dark. Do these people think anything through AT ALL?
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Comments (10)
Secret brilliance between the misogynist, the homeless guy with a pink mohawk, mr. crazy eyes, and that big lump Ryan? I'm kind of doubting it.
I do hope that Adam and Nat get it on and spawn a child though, because that kid will have eyes that could bore through steel.
1 of 10 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on March 10, 2008 5:56 AM
Ryan gets a free pass from Josh, next week, if Josh wins HOH. That's a good reason not to nominate him.
Of course, Josh could still be back-doored.
I hope God answers Josh's prayers and helps him with his diet.
I wish Ryan walked around the house, without his shirt on, more often.
2 of 10 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on March 10, 2008 8:21 AM
Mmmmmmm, Little Ceasars.
3 of 10 | Posted by sandman | Posted on March 10, 2008 9:02 AM
LOL sandman. My thoughts exactly!
4 of 10 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on March 10, 2008 10:03 AM
You guys -- you've gotta check out the DISGUSTING article about Josh, gay sex, cocaine, etc etc on www.realityblurred.com. He is disgusting. Keep those gross thoughts to YOURSELF, loser. Oh, and have fun getting AIDS.
5 of 10 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on March 10, 2008 10:06 AM
At this point I will only be able to stomach a win by Ryan, Nat, Adam, Sheila, or Matt.
When you read the transcripts of the live feeds you see how vile and disgusting Chelsia, Josh, and James really are. And honestly I just don't care for Sharon.
Natalie is starting to grow on me though. She's dumb, a bit stalkerish, but she seems genuinely nice lol.
6 of 10 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 10, 2008 11:30 AM
i can not even figure out why ryan did not put that freak josh on the block this week. what is even more odd is that CHELSEA is on the block. what is going on in that house? i know that josh does coke, but i think ryan is smoking crack.
7 of 10 | Posted by kaf0220 | Posted on March 10, 2008 12:11 PM
I'm with Weasel, more shirtless Ryan, esp if he sweats all the time, couldn't it help? Anyone ever watch his intro interview where he's repeatedly wiping sweat off his face, apparently, he know's it's an issue, so all you fans, prepare for a slip and slide in the sack . . . I'm just sayin' For me, I'm content to admire from a distance, and dream of correcting that faux chin line. And if he took the razor to his chest again, I'd slap it out of his hand . . .
So, considering I'm not watching, what a Douchey season. Nat is beyond bonkers from what I can see, tho I have suffered from "he hit me, so I know he loves me" delusions in my past, so I can't judge. I'm gonna read that post, C Mackenzie, I'm enjoying hating Josh with a passion!!!!
Flip it, I hope God hears your prayers, but I'm not expecting flub-a-dub to shed any, and I say flub-a-dub, coz that's what they called me as a pudgy adolescent!
8 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 10, 2008 1:01 PM
Oh flipit when they started playing "Jameka's Lament" I thought of you! I also thought, "Man I miss last season". Natalie might just have enough crazy in her to make things much more entertaining though. Great recap!
9 of 10 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on March 10, 2008 3:25 PM
Did anyone else notice this? When the HOH competition was going on and it was just Moose and Ryan left, you see Moose look to the left (everyone else was seated to the right) and it looks like he is listening to someone that you cannot see on camera, and then he puts in his anwer, yet Julie had not finished asking the question. When she was done, he didn't change his answer and it was obviously wrong. Maybe they wanted Ryan to win for some reason. Natalie is definitely looney tunes. She kept insisting that Matt still wanted her in his bed, even though he flat out told her that he didn't. I hope he didn't give her his home address, I can see her stalking him for a long, long time.
10 of 10 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on March 11, 2008 5:27 AM