We start with Natalie cry-begging to her boys to keep her. Now she's doing the same thing in the sequester house. Poor little ho ho. Will she spend the rest of the season bobbing for Matties or painting suicidal mermaids alone in her room? Time will tell, but I hope it's the latter, because her dad watches the feeds with his "friends from Wal Mart" and I wouldn't want him to be embarrassed any more than he already has been.

Ryan says that he and Moose decided to split the vote to confuse the girls and he doesn't plan on telling them which way he went. Then we see them vote again, and the bot tell the house it was a split vote again, and then we get to see the desperate "I'm completely fucked" look on Nat's face again.

What I meant was, Sheila, you look 22. Even Jesus thinks so. Pleeeease!

I didn't notice this the first time, but Moose mouthed "I voted for you and Ryan mouthed "Bull!" LOL. Ryan tells us that without Nat, Team Christ is dead and gone and will never be resurrected. Oh snap, Jesus. Sheila, of course, was pissed that she actually had to stand up and grow a pair instead of being sneaky and pretending that she's a good person, and it's hilarious. She rolls her head and gets all tudey with the camera, self righteously saying that Nat put her foot in her mouth and had to go, like she wasn't planning it anyway the whole time. I wonder if Sheila even remembers from one moment to the next what she's even said, because she seems to believe her own bs. Get this woman some estrogen!

Sharon is ecstatic that she's still around after being on the block five times, and still no one even notices that she's there. They have bigger fish to fry. Ryan is pissed that he told Nat he voted for her, which Moose vehemently and awesomely denies. "I read your lips!!" Moose insists that he complimented Nat's rack and giant eviction hair, but Ryan isn't stupid. Well, comparatively. Moose just keeps shaking his head and "nuh-uh!"ing. Dear God, please let Moose win. Love, Flip.

I said "I'm bloated. Are you?"

The look on Sheila's face is priceless too, because Moose's fuck up might just be her opportunity to stay another week and she knows it. Moose just keeps insisting that he didn't say anything wrong and Ryan almost buys it. Almost.

I can't believe it, but we are re-shown the question about the rodents being a pre-existing couple that paved the way for Ryan's HOH win. Groedner, taking her cue from Moose, seems to figure that if she just keeps saying something over and over again, it will smell less and less like BULLSHIT.

Sharon is psyched that Ryan won because she has a secret alliance with him. Poor Sharon. He has a secret deal with everyone. Ryan starts asking who the hell the secret couple is. Either Sheila has been married to Moose for years, or she gave birth to Sharon, or both. I was hoping that the guinea pigs were a ruse and that there really was a couple, but all of the HG's deny it in confessional and then the little rat things are shown sitting on the couch speaking another language to each other.

Don't feel bad, girls. Moose needs subtitles too.

Ryan says that a relationship doesn't necessarily mean lovers, and someone could have a secret cousin in the house. Sheila, remembering the days of being passed around like a nasty cold at the Guccione mansion, jumps on this one. She did say that Ryan looked like one of her nephews. LOL. Yes this show has a dark, cheating heart, but I just can't stop loving it.

Ryan starts calling Sheila "Auntie Sheila", who's like Auntie Mame only whinier and cooze shottier. Sheila, picking up after the keeids, asks "are you guys buyin' theeis?" Yup. No one knows Sheila, but the Hardee's Boys figure that she must know someone else. Love it. Ryan bases Sheila's supposed pre-existing roots on the fact that she's nervous all the time and squirrelly acting. Wouldn't it be nice to just explain her bizarre personality away like that? She says that will swear on the Bible, but Ryan says "Naw, the Bible doesn't mean anything." Wow. I'm not sure if I'm more offended by the formation of Team Christ or the denial of Team Christ. Stop dissin Jesus, man. Leave it up to this show to give me a religious renaissance.

« Top Chef: Break Out the Booze | | Step It Up and Dance: Stomp the streets, step up or get served »

Posted in Big Brother by Flipit at 1:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: itchy on Apr 22, 2008 10:38 AM.