The episode begins by flashing back to Alex and Amanda's eviction. I don't understand why people get sad after evictions. I know you're in this hyper-emotional, summer camp kind of thing, but just sign some yearbooks and get the hell out, you know? Alex says to Matt, "Please avenge us, okay?" which, what is this, The Princess Bride?
We flash back to one hour before the eviction, when Josh and Sharon were thinking they were going to get rid of Matt and Natalie. Josh starts thinking that Allison is harassing Sharon, so he begins tormenting her and telling her that he can make her cry. Then he turns it into some vendetta against her because of the whole Fake Lesbian Affair, and how she's sneaky for changing her vote, and it makes no sense. Then he's like, "Let's rip her heart out!" to Sharon, and: Dude, if you don't like her, just tell us. You don't need to make a bunch of random shit up.
Then we see them winning HoH, but the awesome "Dost-e-shev-sky" part is left out, which is unfortunate. James tells us that he was relieved when they won HoH, and wait, are they aligned? This season makes so little sense.
After the competition, Allison is talking with Matt and some other people about what happened, and Josh comes in and starts calling her ugly and telling her he's going to make her life hell and getting up in her face. Wow, he's ridiculous, even by Big Brother standards. He tells us that he's really hurt that someone would "play his sexuality against him" and if that's the case, why isn't he giving Sheila shit too? He's so full of it.
Then, like...I can't even accurately recap what is going on, because it's like nothing and a whole bunch at the same time. Josh is running around the house like a crazy person with no shirt on, and everyone is trying to make Allison feel better, and she's trying not to get upset. The she cries in the Diary Room about how upset he's making her, and then she cries in the bathroom, and...what is going on? I feel like everyone in the house has that virus from 28 Days Later.
When we get back from commercial, we FLASH BACK TO WHAT JUST HAPPENED. Seriously, this show is bad with the flashbacks, but they usually don't just show you something that happened FIVE MINUTES AGO. Dear Big Brother producers: Your audience does not have the disease that the guy from Memento has. We do not have concussions. She tells Ryan and Matt that they should be ashamed of themselves "for not sticking up for" her. I will tell you right now that I hate that kind of attitude. Never expect anyone else to come to your defense. Allison takes the opportunity to bitch some more about Josh (which I somehow just typed as "hos"), and about how no one should ever talk to a woman like that. Wait, I had no idea that Big Brother was meant to be a crash course in chivalry. Someone lay their jacket down in a puddle for the parade of skanks!
It's time to check out the HoH rooms, which the houseguests are already tired of doing three weeks in. Allison is like "bump this mess" and she goes to bed, which is pretty much how I feel about this show sometimes too, particularly when it comes to Josh, so: Word, Allison. Sharon's HoH pictures include one of her with Jacob, which she is mortified at. Josh gets a tiara, which I am completely and totally unsurprised about. He's exactly the kind of guy who thinks something like that is clever.
Then the sentimental music cues up, and Josh tells us about how offended he is regarding the whole lesbian thing, and Sheila is sitting right there the whole time fostering the hate when she was a party to the whole mess, and I think the show wants us to feel bad for Joshua. Like any of this makes any sense. He talks about how hurt he is by Allison's lie because it's something he takes very seriously, but dude: come on. At it's very worst, it was insensitive, and that's only if you let it bother you. From where I'm sitting, it's difficult to choose a side. Turd Sandwich! Giant Douche! WHO WILL EMERGE VICTORIOUS?
« Celebrity Apprentice: Cleanliness Is Next To Smuttiness | | Project Runway: Shock and Awwwwwwww »
Comments (11)
How did you get this up so fast? It WAS a weak episode. We keep hoping Julie will show up and Change Things.
Dear Julie,
Please show up and Change Things! Or people. Or something.
1 of 11 | Posted by geewits | Posted on March 3, 2008 12:58 AM
I'm just barely hanging on with this show. It's just so haaard for meeeee! The people are stupid and annoying and my 7 year old could out-strategize these houseguests. Dick and Daniele were disgusting, but at least they had a plan and executed it. I can't believe BB9 has me longing for the superior gameplay and intellect of Dick, Daniele, Jessica and Jen!
2 of 11 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on March 3, 2008 7:01 AM
These people definitely have a virus, just not the one from 28 Days Later lol (great movie btw).
And the whole thing with Josh being upset over the lesbian lie really bugged me, since this is coming from the same douche that told someone to get a noose like their dad. Once you say something like that I have no empathy for you whatsoever. Maybe he realizes America hates him now and wants to get us back to him.
Except for Ryan I think they should all be dumped on some island somewhere and left to rot. Why oh why do I still watch this show....
3 of 11 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 3, 2008 11:27 AM
As someone who reads the live feed updates, BB is making Allison look like a saint...but she's really a crazy, self-righteous, hypocritical, pathalogical liar!
Granted, I don't like Josh either which makes their fight almost enjoyable...almost!
Ugh...this season is sucking it up!! Please Chenbot...bring us a worthy twist on Wednesday! PLEASE!!
4 of 11 | Posted by smolls | Posted on March 3, 2008 11:42 AM
Josh and Ryan are my favorites because they are the most attractive and the only ones I would want to spend time with.
Having said that I'm starting to think JOSH is a misogynist. I hope he "goes off" on some guy soon or else my misogynistic fears will be confirmed.
I also don't believe that whole, "I'm so offended you pretended to be lesbians thing." Josh just wants to be mean to Allison and he's using the lesbian thing as an excuse.
Finally, what's up with Allison asking Ryan and Matt to defend her? What? She can't defend herself? Allison needs to find her backdone and stand up for herself.
5 of 11 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on March 3, 2008 1:23 PM
I don't think there is one person on this show I am rooting for. They are all gross. Where do they FIND these people?
I, too, have been reading the "live feeds"...the things that the producers CAN'T show the regular viewers is astounding. Let's just say, these people's mothers would be so proud (not!)
I hope whatever "twist" they introduce saves this season...yawn!
6 of 11 | Posted by KikiC | Posted on March 3, 2008 1:50 PM
True KikiC. I would love to see Josh go toe to toe with Ryan or Matt. He seems to be very brave and aggressive toward women, with whom he feels he could take in a fight. And Allison's rant about one of the guys not stepping up to save her just fosters the ongoing confusion about women's rights. Do we open the door, do we pick up the check, do we stop somebody from killing them? It's very confusing. Well not for me, I'm gay. Good luck with all that straight guys.
7 of 11 | Posted by fozziebare13 | Posted on March 3, 2008 3:01 PM
I think it really sucks for Joshuah that someone outed him to his parents, but he was totally just using the lesbian thing to target Allison. And I hated how Sheila was egging it on. I didn't care enough to go back and check, but if I remember correctly when Shelia and Allison first brought up the lesbian thing they were both adding to it and embellishing it and thought it would be funny. I think it was their mutual idea.
I really dislike Allison and think she's an insecure psycho, but the way Josh got in her face was just wrong. He must think because he's a gay man it's all right to act physically intimidating to women, but he's still a man and it's really ugly, and like mentioned above, misogynistic behavior.
8 of 11 | Posted by SnackyCakes420 | Posted on March 3, 2008 4:30 PM
smolls, I agree with you, Allison is a self righteous lunatic, the fact that she had both matt and alex begging her and groveling to her last week annoyed me, she kept talking down to them, enjoying the power she had, and I would be soooo glad to watch her het kicked out. Ryan finally wised up to her this week, but after the whole racist thing, I am not feeling him so much either. Gosh the entire cast annoys me and at this point, I am rooting for sheila and adam, cause at least they seem to be hanging in there. this people suck, matt is sexist, natalie is desperate, james is a lieing hypocrite, chelsia is too faced, joshuah is crazy and egotistical, and shannon or sharron eaxctly my point
9 of 11 | Posted by nflow | Posted on March 3, 2008 4:55 PM
What got me about Allison was that she was telling Ryan not to do something (I forget what) because the two of them needed to be on the same page. Wait... is that being said by the person who just kept her partner in the dark for almost 2 weeks about the lesbian lie?
10 of 11 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on March 4, 2008 4:25 AM
In a couple of recent episodes, Sheila was shown arguing w/houseguets while laying down in bed. (I know, she's old, tired, etc.) -- her prone position when fighting really bugged me. Stand up! Or at least sit up!
11 of 11 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on March 4, 2008 6:59 AM