So, it turns out that Ryan has no idea about the dumb lesbian lie, so Josh wanders over and lets him know about it and Chelsia fills in details. Ryan is incredulous, because he thinks it puts a giant target on them, which is completely missing the point. Ryan confronts Allison about it, and she seems really nonchalant about the whole thing and totally over it, but you can tell she knows it's totally going to bite her in the ass. She also tells Ryan that it was Sheila's idea, and I'd go back and check to see whether it was true or not, but that would require me to give a shit.
Back from commercial, we get a Matt and Natalie montage that includes what I believe is footage from the night they went to third base, but I'm not positive. For those of you at home interested in whether Massholes like to cuddle afterwards, the answer is no. Cuddling with a girl is gay! They make out for what feels like nine hours, and then she wipes her mouth. Hot!
Sharon and Josh come out of the Diary Room in overalls and tell everyone that it's time for the food competition. Natalie is like "Oh no, overalls!" in this emotionless tone, and I sometimes wonder if she is an early prototype Sheri O'Teri-bot. The guys get overalls to wear, and the girls get...giant asparagus costumes. Adam tells us that he thinks the asparagus costumes are hot. I would have guessed that he was more of a cumquat guy.
In the backyard, there is asparagus piled up everywhere, and that must have been expensive because asparagus costs an arm and a leg. Especially for a guy like Adam, who must bang pounds and pounds of it every day. So, the competition is thus: you basically have to guess how much your female partner weighs, and then collect that amount of asparagus. The only way you can measure is by picking up your partner and picking up the asparagus, so...this is some evil shit for girls with low self-esteem. Like, pretty much everyone on this show.
Each pair is competing for a separate food group, and you have to get within ten pounds of your partner's weight to earn it for the house for the week. If no one succeeds, the house gets slop, and also all the asparagus you can eat. So, I guess that's how they're solving the big malnutrition debacle, with asparagus? Asparagus: it solves all the world's problems. Ship that shit to Korea!
The lifting of both asparagus (asparagi?) and women begins. Riveting! Chelsia and James manage to get close enough to earn beverages and snacks. Sheila gets weighed, and Josh recaps by telling the house that Sheila weighs in at "a whopping" 131. That is both hilarious, because it is Sheila, and really, really mean. Adam has 140 pounds of asparagus, so they win that food group, too. Matt and Natalie don't get close enough, so no carbs and feast for these people. Chelsia is like, "You know Big Brother goes all out" when it comes to a feast. Hey, to some people, Taco Bell is totally a feast.
Allison and Ryan get theirs too, so it looks like the houseguests will be eating okay for the week. And then: asparagus fight! This reminds me of my childhood in the fields of Chile, where I used to spend all day picking asparagus and then spend my hard-earned two cent daily wage to purchase a pair of wooden shoes. Aah, memories.
Back from the break, Natalie has a bunch of nail polish out and is attempting to paint Josh's face on a paper towel. In confessional, she's like "I like to paint pretty things!" and the smell of the nail polish has clearly warped her brain. The painting is actually not terrible, for being on a paper towel and made of nail polish, but Natalie herself is looking a little ragged, so maybe the paper towel could be used for better things, if you know what I mean.
Later in the kitchen, Allison confronts Josh and wants to hash it, but Josh (and Sheila, who is watching and egging it on, because she is five) is not having it, of course. Why act like an adult when you can scream and throw your poop at people outside your cage? Soon they're insulting each other's appearances and talking about education and degrees (so, there that is from last week), so the conversation has stooped to levels heretofore only reached by people on The Apprentice.
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Comments (11)
How did you get this up so fast? It WAS a weak episode. We keep hoping Julie will show up and Change Things.
Dear Julie,
Please show up and Change Things! Or people. Or something.
1 of 11 | Posted by geewits | Posted on March 3, 2008 12:58 AM
I'm just barely hanging on with this show. It's just so haaard for meeeee! The people are stupid and annoying and my 7 year old could out-strategize these houseguests. Dick and Daniele were disgusting, but at least they had a plan and executed it. I can't believe BB9 has me longing for the superior gameplay and intellect of Dick, Daniele, Jessica and Jen!
2 of 11 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on March 3, 2008 7:01 AM
These people definitely have a virus, just not the one from 28 Days Later lol (great movie btw).
And the whole thing with Josh being upset over the lesbian lie really bugged me, since this is coming from the same douche that told someone to get a noose like their dad. Once you say something like that I have no empathy for you whatsoever. Maybe he realizes America hates him now and wants to get us back to him.
Except for Ryan I think they should all be dumped on some island somewhere and left to rot. Why oh why do I still watch this show....
3 of 11 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 3, 2008 11:27 AM
As someone who reads the live feed updates, BB is making Allison look like a saint...but she's really a crazy, self-righteous, hypocritical, pathalogical liar!
Granted, I don't like Josh either which makes their fight almost enjoyable...almost!
Ugh...this season is sucking it up!! Please Chenbot...bring us a worthy twist on Wednesday! PLEASE!!
4 of 11 | Posted by smolls | Posted on March 3, 2008 11:42 AM
Josh and Ryan are my favorites because they are the most attractive and the only ones I would want to spend time with.
Having said that I'm starting to think JOSH is a misogynist. I hope he "goes off" on some guy soon or else my misogynistic fears will be confirmed.
I also don't believe that whole, "I'm so offended you pretended to be lesbians thing." Josh just wants to be mean to Allison and he's using the lesbian thing as an excuse.
Finally, what's up with Allison asking Ryan and Matt to defend her? What? She can't defend herself? Allison needs to find her backdone and stand up for herself.
5 of 11 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on March 3, 2008 1:23 PM
I don't think there is one person on this show I am rooting for. They are all gross. Where do they FIND these people?
I, too, have been reading the "live feeds"...the things that the producers CAN'T show the regular viewers is astounding. Let's just say, these people's mothers would be so proud (not!)
I hope whatever "twist" they introduce saves this season...yawn!
6 of 11 | Posted by KikiC | Posted on March 3, 2008 1:50 PM
True KikiC. I would love to see Josh go toe to toe with Ryan or Matt. He seems to be very brave and aggressive toward women, with whom he feels he could take in a fight. And Allison's rant about one of the guys not stepping up to save her just fosters the ongoing confusion about women's rights. Do we open the door, do we pick up the check, do we stop somebody from killing them? It's very confusing. Well not for me, I'm gay. Good luck with all that straight guys.
7 of 11 | Posted by fozziebare13 | Posted on March 3, 2008 3:01 PM
I think it really sucks for Joshuah that someone outed him to his parents, but he was totally just using the lesbian thing to target Allison. And I hated how Sheila was egging it on. I didn't care enough to go back and check, but if I remember correctly when Shelia and Allison first brought up the lesbian thing they were both adding to it and embellishing it and thought it would be funny. I think it was their mutual idea.
I really dislike Allison and think she's an insecure psycho, but the way Josh got in her face was just wrong. He must think because he's a gay man it's all right to act physically intimidating to women, but he's still a man and it's really ugly, and like mentioned above, misogynistic behavior.
8 of 11 | Posted by SnackyCakes420 | Posted on March 3, 2008 4:30 PM
smolls, I agree with you, Allison is a self righteous lunatic, the fact that she had both matt and alex begging her and groveling to her last week annoyed me, she kept talking down to them, enjoying the power she had, and I would be soooo glad to watch her het kicked out. Ryan finally wised up to her this week, but after the whole racist thing, I am not feeling him so much either. Gosh the entire cast annoys me and at this point, I am rooting for sheila and adam, cause at least they seem to be hanging in there. this people suck, matt is sexist, natalie is desperate, james is a lieing hypocrite, chelsia is too faced, joshuah is crazy and egotistical, and shannon or sharron eaxctly my point
9 of 11 | Posted by nflow | Posted on March 3, 2008 4:55 PM
What got me about Allison was that she was telling Ryan not to do something (I forget what) because the two of them needed to be on the same page. Wait... is that being said by the person who just kept her partner in the dark for almost 2 weeks about the lesbian lie?
10 of 11 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on March 4, 2008 4:25 AM
In a couple of recent episodes, Sheila was shown arguing w/houseguets while laying down in bed. (I know, she's old, tired, etc.) -- her prone position when fighting really bugged me. Stand up! Or at least sit up!
11 of 11 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on March 4, 2008 6:59 AM