Hey everybody! Long time no recap. I am making my triumphant return with this season's first live show, and we all know what that means: lots and lots of robotic laughter. Let's get started!
Julie is dressed in a little black and white dress with sensible jewelry on, so I guess there's a first for everything. As the camera zooms out, we see that there's a live audience seated around an open circular stage in the center. I'm wondering where they got these people from. My guess: the Chenbot is taking human hostages. Wow, this is just like Terminator!
After the fancy new credits, Julie tells us that it's Day 9 in the Big Brother house, and that Brian the self-proclaimed puppetmaster has "had his strings cut" by the other housemates. I have no idea how she says such things with a straight face. She also calls him a "former Air Force Crew Chief" instead of a cell phone salesman. This is because Julie is made of parts from recycled cell phones, so being a cell phone salesman is sort of like human trafficking to her. As Julie catches us up on all the things that we just saw in the previouslies (an esteemed Big Brother tradition), we get our first glimpse of the Houseguests all dressed up for eviction night, and the first thing you notice is that Renny is...very blue. Like, from head to toe, including a little knit beanie that matches her outfit exactly. I have no idea how she does it, but it is great.
We pick up during the veto ceremony, where Jessie flashback-douches all over the TV and uses the veto on himself. Brian makes a beeline for Jerry to get the scoop the second everyone leaves. "They gave me an ultimatum." Jerry tells him, trying to exonerate himself. In confessional, Jerry tells us very seriously that he was willing to sacrifice Brian to save himself. Up in the HOH room, Jerry and Brian talk as Jerry tells him exactly what happened, including the fact that Ollie was the ringleader of the whole situation, which is probably what Jerry would think given that Ollie was the one who addressed Jerry for the group. Jerry then very gravely tells Brian that he may have noticed that Jerry wasn't wearing any military attire during the ceremony, because he didn't want to embarrass the Army by going back on his word. I realize that this is coming from an honest place, but: come on. You crawled around on your belly in honey and got covered in feathers like twenty-four hours ago. I love that Jerry is trying to treat the "ceremonies" as if they don't deserve the quotation marks around them. Did you take your hat off, put your hand over your heart and face the Big Brother flag during the ceremony, Jerry? DID YOU?
In the old-timey bathroom, Brian relays the information to Dan about how Ollie and his matching Livestrong bracelet are not to be trusted. It might actually be a WRISTSTRONG bracelet, which would make Ollie more awesome than he already is.
In the backyard, Brian and Dan confront Ollie about the goings-on in the HOH room. Ollie denies responsibility for the event, placing the blame on the entire house and saying that they made a collective decision. He tells them that April, Libra and Keesha backed him into a corner by accusing him of having an alliance with Brian and Dan, and that he basically had no other choice but to participate. This guy, he is good. Dan is like, "So that's it, you're just going to sell us out like that? I wouldn't have done that." Ollie says, "So you would sacrifice yourself and get voted out to save the rest of us?" to Dan. When Dan replies in the affirmative, Ollie is like "Not me, yo!" and then he skates. He is quickly becoming my favorite.
That night, Ollie and April flirt in the dark and make out. Apparently, it took them six days to kiss. I do not know why that is relevant, but hey, I'm just the recapper, people. I'm not here to judge. Wait, yes I am. Losers!
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Comments (33)
Hey Schoonie, thanks for the quick recap. I think there was a couple mistakes, though?
I think Angie, not April, was out during the Sock Puppet show. Also pretty sure Renny has a son Jessie, not Julie's age. Although, according to Jessie, Renny is like 140 so having a son Julie's age is equally improbable, but more entertaining to think about.
I agree that I like this cast a lot better than those in the past couple years, especially the horror of last season. Look forward to the rest of the recaps!
1 of 33 | Posted by bentley1101 | Posted on July 17, 2008 1:11 AM
WOW, this season is so good already. I'm with you, I love the cast this year. They really needed to improve over last year, and they succeeded.
Was anyone else really uncomfortable with the live audience? Wow, I was. Live shows are awkward with the Chenbot alone, but throwing her hostages (LOL) in there as well is just brutal. I had to watch her segments through my fingers.
Please keep making fun of Jessie, it keeps me alive.
Thanks for the hilarious recap!
2 of 33 | Posted by loiseau_chante | Posted on July 17, 2008 6:25 AM
Best. First. Week. (if not ever, than for many seasons at least.) "Poor" Dan didn't even know to change his vote to avoid a target on his back, bless his heart.
A point about Dan. I wouldn't be surprised to hear he has lost his job. If you can lose your job for saying "retard" it's entirely likely a Catholic School teacher loses his job for bungling Catholic tenets.
I'm a recovered Catholic but remember how it works. Confession doesn't work the way Dan said, i.e. you can't plan the sin and just go to confession to make it all better. If his arch diocese is watching, his job might be in jeopardy.
3 of 33 | Posted by dacnova | Posted on July 17, 2008 7:37 AM
Great recap. Sorry to hear about your A/C. Mine is out too but it's a blessing in disguise. I think the heat was the only thing that kept me from rubbing one out to the sight of Peg Bundy giving her "don't evict me" spiel.
I need help.
4 of 33 | Posted by oywhatnext | Posted on July 17, 2008 7:48 AM
"That's like Sir Mix-A-Lot giving advice to everyone about how to stay at the top of the charts." - - Schoonie you rule!
I'm so excited about this season. To see people actually thinking and playing the game (some poorly) so early is great. Even the gold standard of BB, season 6, didn't come out of the gate this good.
Other than Renny and Jessie, everyone else seems reasonably intelligent and savvy about how BB works and what they should be doing to survive and advance. And, much to my amazement, they are on a whole a pretty cool and likeable bunch so far. Even though Brian got way over-aggressive for week 1 in the end he acknowledged his mistake, blamed no-one but himself, and didn't terrorize or villify Ollie for (justifiably) abandoning a ship that had been torpedoed and was sinking fast.
This shows the power of low expectations. After years of disappointment, look how much fun it is to watch a BB cast that isn't functionally retarded or mentally ill.
5 of 33 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on July 17, 2008 7:55 AM
It's funny how Dan is walking around with the loyal/arrogance allure. It's really hard to remain loyal when no one asked you to participate in the mutiny. And when in fact, he is what people in the revenge business call "NEX" What a tool, bless his heart.
I think poor Jesse (he of the unfavorable head to shoulder width ratio) thought he would be bringing sexy back to BB when he fact his is also, just a tool. A tool on roids, but a tool none the less.
I think if Memphis, Ollie, April, and Libra honest and truly stick together, they could be a really good team. But since Ollie is only interested in finding out if April's carpet matches the drapes, and April is basically going tell Master that Ollie can read the first chance she gets, I can see Libra turning on the two of them, which would be smart because the next best alliance would be Libra, Memphis,and April.
6 of 33 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 17, 2008 8:41 AM
Don't be too hard on Memphis for the 'stache. it was only done as a joke. i laugh whenever i look at it now.
i am loving this season so far! so much drama for only one week in!!
7 of 33 | Posted by nestofvipers | Posted on July 17, 2008 9:17 AM
I think Rennie looked like Carrie Fisher, post re-hab, last night. But watching her left me pondering this question: Would you go to a beauty salon owner who wears a wig?
8 of 33 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 17, 2008 9:30 AM
I am so giddy. I don't know whether it is because the show doesn't totally suck yet, the recaps are cracking me up or the comments are a riot.
I thought the debacle of BB9 was helping me return to a normal life, but I think BB10 has sucked me right back in...live feeds, message boards, recaps, see you in Sept. kids there's food in the fridge.
9 of 33 | Posted by bbjunkie | Posted on July 17, 2008 9:41 AM
Great recap! What a fun episode, especially the stupid girl fight. I hope they keep it up all season.
I hear you about those girls going on and on and on. BBAD on Monday had the Angie/Michelle misunderstanding about who was going to comfort who. They spent an hour telling each other how much they wanted to go back to being friends. It was such torture.
I watched last night's ep with friends, two of whom are BB virgins. Halfway through the episode, one turned around and said, "Is it me, or is that Julie Chen like a robot or something?" I almost died laughing.
10 of 33 | Posted by lickitysplit | Posted on July 17, 2008 10:11 AM
Damn, we were thisclose to seeing a clothes shredding cat fight between April and Keesha. April may look batshit crazy, but the girl can rock some daisy dukes.
So far so good on this year's cast. A pleasant mix of nutjobs, douchebags, hot chicks and one or two normal people.
11 of 33 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on July 17, 2008 12:26 PM
"She also calls him a "former Air Force Crew Chief" instead of a cell phone salesman. This is because Julie is made of parts from recycled cell phones, so being a cell phone salesman is sort of like human trafficking to her." So I think that was the best line in the whole recap. Totally made me crack up! :-)
So it seems like everyone is really liking the people on this season, which shouldn't be too hard after the crud we were forced to watch last season. I have a few I like and a few I really can't stand, but that's the game right?
Keesha drives me crazy. Everyone says April is paranoid but I think they need to rethink which blonde they are calling that. And what was with all the f this and f that? I get so tired of people who think using cuss words makes them sound cool.
I don't really see what everyone's problem is with Jessie...Then again, it could be because we have the same name. His is just spelled wrong. :-)
Great recap all around though!
12 of 33 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on July 17, 2008 12:45 PM
Memphis and Jessie are the only good looking, sexy guys on the show.
Dan? too spindley.
Jerry? too old.
Ollie? I'll pass (though I'm glad IOWA is representing.)
The gay cowboy, Stephen? Cute but why does he always appear to be on the verge of tears?
I'll say this much for Jessie; Not only did the house rally to save him (oh, and boot out brian too)
but Jessie is obviously the smartest one in the group.
Last season I was rooting for Ryan. This time around I'm behind Jessie and Memphis.
13 of 33 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on July 17, 2008 12:52 PM
Not to snark, but could we start spelling Steven's name correctly? It's a V, not a PH.
That said, I think he's smokin' hot! ('course, I'm a gay guy and he's very much my "type"). He hasn't had a whole lot of screen time yet, though. I'm looking forward to seeing more of him.
14 of 33 | Posted by dacnova | Posted on July 17, 2008 1:05 PM
I like how Ollie mentioned to April that it took only six days in the house to kiss her. Meanwhile, Jerry got to feel her tits like in the first fifteen minutes!
15 of 33 | Posted by foxbasealpha | Posted on July 17, 2008 2:05 PM
Not only was I looking forward to BB10, I couldn't wait to read the recaps here! LOVE THEM! Great job! (Hope you get your air back on soon, Schoonie...I'm in Chicago too. It's HOT!!!)
Back to BB10: If Brian hadn't tried to take control so soon, I think he'd have been fun to watch. The sock puppet show was pretty funny and Brian showed he could laugh at himself for his "8000 alliances."
Renny must have "monotoned" herself to the extreme...she had barely any screen time.
Jessie is a crybaby.
16 of 33 | Posted by trink621 | Posted on July 17, 2008 2:41 PM
Loved the cell phone traffic-ing too!!! Great recap, and just out of curiousity, are you and Flip it using, coz you guys are just too fast this time--I love it!!!
When I saw blue in the title, and Renny's outfit, I thought she was a goner (as I watched PR last night, instead) I was greatly relieved to see her still there (sorry to her haters) but I have to believe there's some Trash TV gold going to happen with her there, call me crazy!
Glad Brian redeemed himself somewhat, coz my phone keeps dying, I mean, coz I want to pretend I care, I mean, nevermind . . . Glad you like Ollie, Schoon, me too. I'm not so into sexy times on these shows, in fact, the sounds of smooching in those mics literally turns my stomach, but none the less, kind of a hot match up, and even a little school girl cute--fun to watch April melt down over her Ollie, and damn Keesha, I think they'll slip you some exlax in the diary room, or prune juice, or just get in there and push, there's a long summer ahead, you need to not worry if everyone can smell your . . . Sorry all . . . that's just TMTH!!!
SUNSHINE AND BUBBLEBATHS!
And Fayellis, re: Keesha, bless her heart, go poop!
17 of 33 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 17, 2008 3:11 PM
Great recap, and great season far. What a relief after BB9!
Speaking of 9, how is it day 9 already, I thought that last Sunday was the first day?
18 of 33 | Posted by EZ Rider | Posted on July 17, 2008 3:12 PM
Last Sunday was the premiere, not their first day in the house. They go in a couple of days early because they need to have material to edit and air.
19 of 33 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on July 17, 2008 3:17 PM
Nice use of an obscure Grandpa Simpson reference Shoonie.
These recaps are the best part of BB. That and humiliation.
20 of 33 | Posted by IMissColleen | Posted on July 17, 2008 4:32 PM
juddfan
I could not imagine going 9 days without "dropping any friends off at the pool" Too bad Keesha is not locked in there with Bobby Brown, he knows the 2 finger trick; just ask Whitney. I love to go to school with a blue eyed blonde white girl named "Keesha" GOOD TIMES
21 of 33 | Posted by Fayellis1 | Posted on July 17, 2008 6:04 PM
This season is good so far but I miss A Baller shouting at me through the TV.
22 of 33 | Posted by BRaps | Posted on July 17, 2008 6:36 PM
Hey
Did anyone else notice how long it took Jerry to get back to the couch in the living room after his interview with Julie Chen? I think Brian was out the door already by the time he got his 75 year old tired ass back to his seat! I have to admit that I liked Jerry in the beginning but if I hear him wheeze out all that crap about not wearing anything military one more time I'm going to have to remind him that the North won and the war is over. I know that some house guests are worried about wether they brought enough smokes into the house, my concern is wether Jerry brought enough depends in. I have nothing against old people; God knows I'm heading in that direction myself; but when you have to start slicing lemons to cut the urine smell, well I'm just saying.
23 of 33 | Posted by dizzy | Posted on July 17, 2008 8:57 PM
BRaps, ACK, no. Please! PLEASE! No more Baller! He was a major part of what ruined season 9 for me. (well, one of many, MANY reasons...)
On the other hand, I bet Renny would have loved Baller... ick, let's not go there...
24 of 33 | Posted by dacnova | Posted on July 17, 2008 10:11 PM
BREAKING NEWS! At 11:17 PM EST on the evening of July 17th Keesha finally baptized a Baby Ruth as the world took a collective sigh of relief.
25 of 33 | Posted by oywhatnext | Posted on July 18, 2008 5:05 AM
L
O
L
26 of 33 | Posted by flipit | Posted on July 18, 2008 5:13 AM
Ok, dacnova....you're right, I need to move on and forget about Baller. I just miss his big crazy eyes and ridiculously loud voice.
Also, I haven't found a favorite yet this season. Maybe Libra but I'm not totally in love yet. Even though Michelle is a fellow Portagee I haven't warmed to her either. I was thrilled to see Brian go, three episodes was enough of his smug attitude.
27 of 33 | Posted by Braps | Posted on July 18, 2008 6:51 AM
The TVGasm rule is no discussing the live feeds until the shows have aired! BANNED FOR TALKING ABOUT POOP!
Ha ha, just kidding.
28 of 33 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:46 AM
TG you're kidding, Schoon, that news flash was almost as exciting as Brangelina dropping twins, or Nicole having her pillow Sunday Rose . . . Congrats to the proud mommy, but, as Fayellis will attest, I'm sure Mr. Brown is real disappointed he didn't get his chance to do a cameo on another reality show. He's gonna be eating jello pudding with those two fingers now, to try and ease their tears of loss and regret!!!
And OMG! are they going to feature a segment on the show where Keesha enters blessed birthing room, and later returns blushing, thinner and relieved . . . can't wait to find out!
Thanks oywhatnext!
29 of 33 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on July 18, 2008 12:32 PM
OK OK - I'm sorry! Dammit I made the whole thing up. I was just going for a cheap laugh.
I would like to state for the record though that I was NOT wearing any military garb when I made the comment.
30 of 33 | Posted by oywhatnext | Posted on July 18, 2008 12:36 PM
Great recap Schoonie!!
The Super Troopers 2 reference was hilarious!
Thanks for being so fast, watch the show and can't wait to read the recaps.
31 of 33 | Posted by okreek | Posted on July 18, 2008 1:25 PM
oywhatnext, bless your heart
32 of 33 | Posted by dacnova | Posted on July 18, 2008 8:50 PM
test
33 of 33 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on July 21, 2008 11:45 PM