Keesha and Renny go out next, followed by Michelle, Dan and April. The questions are predictably dumb, in the grand tradition of Big Brother competitions (Who would be a better fashion consultant, Renny or April? Well, that question depends on your affinity for wigs) and the houseguests laugh with each other throughout the segment at the ridiculousness of the entire thing. It's like they're...normal people or something. I love this cast.

Eventually Libra, Ollie, Jessie & Stephen are the only ones left in the game, staying in through several questions. Julie deems it time for a tiebreaker. How many pillows were on the bed during the veto competition? Libra guesses 147, Ollie 550, Stephen 124, and Jessie 200. The correct answer is 300, so Jessie is HOH. Gross!

Despite the fact that the most odious person won HOH this week, I'm definitely thinking this season is on the right track. I'm sure I'm eventually going to be let down when Jessie takes the whole thing, but for now let's just enjoy ourselves. I'm sure Renny is shaking in her leopard-print muumuu right now, though.

Want to get in contact with Schoonie and tell him what a jerk he is? You can e-mail him at schoonie_45@yahoo.com with your questions, comments, or thoughts about his idiotic opinions.

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Comments (33)

bentley1101:

Hey Schoonie, thanks for the quick recap. I think there was a couple mistakes, though?

I think Angie, not April, was out during the Sock Puppet show. Also pretty sure Renny has a son Jessie, not Julie's age. Although, according to Jessie, Renny is like 140 so having a son Julie's age is equally improbable, but more entertaining to think about.

I agree that I like this cast a lot better than those in the past couple years, especially the horror of last season. Look forward to the rest of the recaps!

loiseau_chante:

WOW, this season is so good already. I'm with you, I love the cast this year. They really needed to improve over last year, and they succeeded.

Was anyone else really uncomfortable with the live audience? Wow, I was. Live shows are awkward with the Chenbot alone, but throwing her hostages (LOL) in there as well is just brutal. I had to watch her segments through my fingers.

Please keep making fun of Jessie, it keeps me alive.

Thanks for the hilarious recap!

dacnova:

Best. First. Week. (if not ever, than for many seasons at least.) "Poor" Dan didn't even know to change his vote to avoid a target on his back, bless his heart.

A point about Dan. I wouldn't be surprised to hear he has lost his job. If you can lose your job for saying "retard" it's entirely likely a Catholic School teacher loses his job for bungling Catholic tenets.

I'm a recovered Catholic but remember how it works. Confession doesn't work the way Dan said, i.e. you can't plan the sin and just go to confession to make it all better. If his arch diocese is watching, his job might be in jeopardy.

oywhatnext:

Great recap. Sorry to hear about your A/C. Mine is out too but it's a blessing in disguise. I think the heat was the only thing that kept me from rubbing one out to the sight of Peg Bundy giving her "don't evict me" spiel.

I need help.

JasonR:

"That's like Sir Mix-A-Lot giving advice to everyone about how to stay at the top of the charts." - - Schoonie you rule!

I'm so excited about this season. To see people actually thinking and playing the game (some poorly) so early is great. Even the gold standard of BB, season 6, didn't come out of the gate this good.

Other than Renny and Jessie, everyone else seems reasonably intelligent and savvy about how BB works and what they should be doing to survive and advance. And, much to my amazement, they are on a whole a pretty cool and likeable bunch so far. Even though Brian got way over-aggressive for week 1 in the end he acknowledged his mistake, blamed no-one but himself, and didn't terrorize or villify Ollie for (justifiably) abandoning a ship that had been torpedoed and was sinking fast.

This shows the power of low expectations. After years of disappointment, look how much fun it is to watch a BB cast that isn't functionally retarded or mentally ill.

Fayellis1:

It's funny how Dan is walking around with the loyal/arrogance allure. It's really hard to remain loyal when no one asked you to participate in the mutiny. And when in fact, he is what people in the revenge business call "NEX" What a tool, bless his heart.
I think poor Jesse (he of the unfavorable head to shoulder width ratio) thought he would be bringing sexy back to BB when he fact his is also, just a tool. A tool on roids, but a tool none the less.
I think if Memphis, Ollie, April, and Libra honest and truly stick together, they could be a really good team. But since Ollie is only interested in finding out if April's carpet matches the drapes, and April is basically going tell Master that Ollie can read the first chance she gets, I can see Libra turning on the two of them, which would be smart because the next best alliance would be Libra, Memphis,and April.

nestofvipers:

Don't be too hard on Memphis for the 'stache. it was only done as a joke. i laugh whenever i look at it now.

i am loving this season so far! so much drama for only one week in!!

cattyfan:

I think Rennie looked like Carrie Fisher, post re-hab, last night. But watching her left me pondering this question: Would you go to a beauty salon owner who wears a wig?

bbjunkie:

I am so giddy. I don't know whether it is because the show doesn't totally suck yet, the recaps are cracking me up or the comments are a riot.

I thought the debacle of BB9 was helping me return to a normal life, but I think BB10 has sucked me right back in...live feeds, message boards, recaps, see you in Sept. kids there's food in the fridge.

lickitysplit:

Great recap! What a fun episode, especially the stupid girl fight. I hope they keep it up all season.

I hear you about those girls going on and on and on. BBAD on Monday had the Angie/Michelle misunderstanding about who was going to comfort who. They spent an hour telling each other how much they wanted to go back to being friends. It was such torture.

I watched last night's ep with friends, two of whom are BB virgins. Halfway through the episode, one turned around and said, "Is it me, or is that Julie Chen like a robot or something?" I almost died laughing.

Dirty Sanchez:

Damn, we were thisclose to seeing a clothes shredding cat fight between April and Keesha. April may look batshit crazy, but the girl can rock some daisy dukes.

So far so good on this year's cast. A pleasant mix of nutjobs, douchebags, hot chicks and one or two normal people.

JustJesse:

"She also calls him a "former Air Force Crew Chief" instead of a cell phone salesman. This is because Julie is made of parts from recycled cell phones, so being a cell phone salesman is sort of like human trafficking to her." So I think that was the best line in the whole recap. Totally made me crack up! :-)

So it seems like everyone is really liking the people on this season, which shouldn't be too hard after the crud we were forced to watch last season. I have a few I like and a few I really can't stand, but that's the game right?

Keesha drives me crazy. Everyone says April is paranoid but I think they need to rethink which blonde they are calling that. And what was with all the f this and f that? I get so tired of people who think using cuss words makes them sound cool.

I don't really see what everyone's problem is with Jessie...Then again, it could be because we have the same name. His is just spelled wrong. :-)

Great recap all around though!

Mr Dangerous:

Memphis and Jessie are the only good looking, sexy guys on the show.

Dan? too spindley.
Jerry? too old.
Ollie? I'll pass (though I'm glad IOWA is representing.)

The gay cowboy, Stephen? Cute but why does he always appear to be on the verge of tears?

I'll say this much for Jessie; Not only did the house rally to save him (oh, and boot out brian too)
but Jessie is obviously the smartest one in the group.

Last season I was rooting for Ryan. This time around I'm behind Jessie and Memphis.

dacnova:

Not to snark, but could we start spelling Steven's name correctly? It's a V, not a PH.

That said, I think he's smokin' hot! ('course, I'm a gay guy and he's very much my "type"). He hasn't had a whole lot of screen time yet, though. I'm looking forward to seeing more of him.

foxbasealpha:

I like how Ollie mentioned to April that it took only six days in the house to kiss her. Meanwhile, Jerry got to feel her tits like in the first fifteen minutes!

trink621:

Not only was I looking forward to BB10, I couldn't wait to read the recaps here! LOVE THEM! Great job! (Hope you get your air back on soon, Schoonie...I'm in Chicago too. It's HOT!!!)

Back to BB10: If Brian hadn't tried to take control so soon, I think he'd have been fun to watch. The sock puppet show was pretty funny and Brian showed he could laugh at himself for his "8000 alliances."

Renny must have "monotoned" herself to the extreme...she had barely any screen time.

Jessie is a crybaby.

juddfan:

Loved the cell phone traffic-ing too!!! Great recap, and just out of curiousity, are you and Flip it using, coz you guys are just too fast this time--I love it!!!

When I saw blue in the title, and Renny's outfit, I thought she was a goner (as I watched PR last night, instead) I was greatly relieved to see her still there (sorry to her haters) but I have to believe there's some Trash TV gold going to happen with her there, call me crazy!

Glad Brian redeemed himself somewhat, coz my phone keeps dying, I mean, coz I want to pretend I care, I mean, nevermind . . . Glad you like Ollie, Schoon, me too. I'm not so into sexy times on these shows, in fact, the sounds of smooching in those mics literally turns my stomach, but none the less, kind of a hot match up, and even a little school girl cute--fun to watch April melt down over her Ollie, and damn Keesha, I think they'll slip you some exlax in the diary room, or prune juice, or just get in there and push, there's a long summer ahead, you need to not worry if everyone can smell your . . . Sorry all . . . that's just TMTH!!!

SUNSHINE AND BUBBLEBATHS!

And Fayellis, re: Keesha, bless her heart, go poop!

EZ Rider:

Great recap, and great season far. What a relief after BB9!

Speaking of 9, how is it day 9 already, I thought that last Sunday was the first day?

schoonie:

Last Sunday was the premiere, not their first day in the house. They go in a couple of days early because they need to have material to edit and air.

IMissColleen:

Nice use of an obscure Grandpa Simpson reference Shoonie.

These recaps are the best part of BB. That and humiliation.

Fayellis1:

juddfan

I could not imagine going 9 days without "dropping any friends off at the pool" Too bad Keesha is not locked in there with Bobby Brown, he knows the 2 finger trick; just ask Whitney. I love to go to school with a blue eyed blonde white girl named "Keesha" GOOD TIMES

BRaps:

This season is good so far but I miss A Baller shouting at me through the TV.

dizzy:

Hey

Did anyone else notice how long it took Jerry to get back to the couch in the living room after his interview with Julie Chen? I think Brian was out the door already by the time he got his 75 year old tired ass back to his seat! I have to admit that I liked Jerry in the beginning but if I hear him wheeze out all that crap about not wearing anything military one more time I'm going to have to remind him that the North won and the war is over. I know that some house guests are worried about wether they brought enough smokes into the house, my concern is wether Jerry brought enough depends in. I have nothing against old people; God knows I'm heading in that direction myself; but when you have to start slicing lemons to cut the urine smell, well I'm just saying.

dacnova:

BRaps, ACK, no. Please! PLEASE! No more Baller! He was a major part of what ruined season 9 for me. (well, one of many, MANY reasons...)

On the other hand, I bet Renny would have loved Baller... ick, let's not go there...

oywhatnext:

BREAKING NEWS! At 11:17 PM EST on the evening of July 17th Keesha finally baptized a Baby Ruth as the world took a collective sigh of relief.

flipit:

L

O

L

Braps:

Ok, dacnova....you're right, I need to move on and forget about Baller. I just miss his big crazy eyes and ridiculously loud voice.

Also, I haven't found a favorite yet this season. Maybe Libra but I'm not totally in love yet. Even though Michelle is a fellow Portagee I haven't warmed to her either. I was thrilled to see Brian go, three episodes was enough of his smug attitude.

schoonie:

The TVGasm rule is no discussing the live feeds until the shows have aired! BANNED FOR TALKING ABOUT POOP!

Ha ha, just kidding.

juddfan:

TG you're kidding, Schoon, that news flash was almost as exciting as Brangelina dropping twins, or Nicole having her pillow Sunday Rose . . . Congrats to the proud mommy, but, as Fayellis will attest, I'm sure Mr. Brown is real disappointed he didn't get his chance to do a cameo on another reality show. He's gonna be eating jello pudding with those two fingers now, to try and ease their tears of loss and regret!!!

And OMG! are they going to feature a segment on the show where Keesha enters blessed birthing room, and later returns blushing, thinner and relieved . . . can't wait to find out!

Thanks oywhatnext!

oywhatnext:

OK OK - I'm sorry! Dammit I made the whole thing up. I was just going for a cheap laugh.

I would like to state for the record though that I was NOT wearing any military garb when I made the comment.

okreek:

Great recap Schoonie!!
The Super Troopers 2 reference was hilarious!
Thanks for being so fast, watch the show and can't wait to read the recaps.

dacnova:

oywhatnext, bless your heart

schoonie:

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