Big Brother: But...I'm HOT!!!

Tonight on Big Brother, a giant sparkly pink bird hatches a fifty something year old hairdresser named Renny. Thanks giant sparkly pink bird!

Picture 18-9
Suck it, Chita Rivera!

The bot welcomes us to eviction night wearing a shoulder baring sweater and a green rubberish looking skirt and jangly diamond bracelets. The studio audience looks as confused and uncomfortable as ever, but I am glad they're there, because they've given the bot a sense of showmanship. Sure, she still fucks up every other line, but she does it with gusto and sassiness now because there are actual people in the seats to impress and not just the imaginary billions Moonves insists are watching.

As you know, Jerry refused to use the veto on Tuesday, leaving Jessie the Incredible Sulk on the block with Memphis, the no good womanizer. Jessie is very confident and arrogant, believing that everyone loves him and he will be staying. He makes a little horn sound and shouts SWEET BEANS! Memphis isn't as confident. He tells us that his alliance is now done and "it's time to start from square one." Too bad you didn't come up with that stroke of genius a little earlier, tiger. Probably too busy making the women swoon. Those over thirty's are like putty, ain't they?

While April is in the diary room patting herself for getting her way and getting Memphis out, Keesha tells Libra in the peace room that she really hopes April changes her mind about getting rid of Memphis because there's no one in the house with enough balls to wear the tacky headpieces he does. Including Renny. Libra calmly agrees with Keesha, but in the diary room she's like thunder, shouting and rolling her head and telling us that Jessie's gotta go cuz all he does is eat and sleep. Dang, Libra. Since when does eating and sleeping your life away constitute grounds for eviction? I'd be homeless.

Libra and Keesha decide that they have to talk April into getting rid of Jessie and what do ya know? It's April! She comes in and acts like she's looking for something when Libra jumps down her throat, telling her that they want Jessie gone because he's gunning for them. April's answer is "we all have people coming after us." HA. Keesha starts sighing loudly and refusing to look at April. Then she tells us that she hates April. Ya don't say! I didn't see that one coming. Then she pouts with her arms crossed like she was just told that she's never getting a pony no matter how many chores she does.

Picture 11-32
It's just a zit. Calm down.

April tells them that no one gives Memphis credit for being a good player but he is. She doesn't give any evidence, and we certainly haven't seen any evidence of that, but believe what you will hon. "Just because he's not as loud as Jessie, or as huge as Jessie, or as closeted as Jessie, and just cuz he doesn't make horn sounds with his mouth or make Michelle think she might actually get some before she's in her fifties..." She seems to forget where she's going with that line of thinking and stops.

April stays in a whispering tone but Libra tells her to calm down anyway and starts getting defensive about April's imagined defensiveness. She complains that April always says she wants the girls to communicate to her but then when they do she gets upset. Maybe it's your way of communicating, Libra.

Picture 12-26
How can this face be misconstrued as anything but loving?

Libra gets herself all worked up and tells April that it's not right that she's planning on helping someone who's gunning for people in her alliance. April talks big in the diary room, but she's a giant wuss, so instead of saying anything now with actual people she's talking about around, she just stares at the floor, makes that severely aging "I'm thinking deeply" face she gets and stays quiet.

Later, Keesha sits outside with Memphis and tells him that everyone agreed to vote how April wanted them to this week, and Memphis shakes his head in disgust. Welcome! The rest of us have been shaking our heads at this do whatever the HOH tells you to strategy for weeks. He tells Keesha that the HGs might as well go in stand in line for an iPhone and cut their hair into fauxhawks and just baabaabaaaa together. Keesha agrees that the only time it's good for people to act like mindless sheep is when she's holding the crook.

Big Brother: But...I'm HOT!!! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6 

« Date My Ex: How CUTE! | | So You Think You Can Dance: Finale Part 2: So They Think They Can Still Dance! »

Comments (22)

trink621:

OK, everyone...let's hear what your one-word response would be when you hear the same houseguests' names that Julie gave Jessie. Was it really as hard as Jessie made it seem? And why didn't he get mad at America disrespecting him when he was trying to sleep? (It really would have been funny, btw, if one of the recorded messages was someone sounding like Renny that first night in the house!)

bbjunkie:

Oh Flip, I am on vacation at the in-laws and I haven't seen the show since the last live show. I have been reading the recaps. What a great way to wake up -- bye bye Jessie. I have been snickering to myself so nobody knows what I am doing. Great recap! Too many funny things. I can't wait to get home a go through my TiVo and see all the hijinks. You make it sound like I missed a good week.

Many hearts to you.

carrie:

Why are that dude's jorts on Dan's football team so freakin tight? They're like spandex jorts. sick.

This was such a good episode! Great recap Flip! and is it just me, or is Rerun's head getting bigger by the episode??

lickitysplit:

I really liked Jessie, and was sad to see him go. However, him leaving had the potential to stir up much much more drama, so it's a fair trade. Michelle winning HOH was the best. I hope it's non-stop meltdowns this week.

I'm so excited for next week. Bring on the real BB players!

DP Hooker:

Were the before her name and after her name April screencaps supposed to be the same? Or was the before supposed to be Aging Deep Thought Concerned Face?

Hilarious recap - Michelle is going to be insufferable this week. When she was hooting and hollaring after winning, i was like "OK Michelle..we get it. you did it for jessie, and he STILL doesn't want to fuck you."

schoonie:

I DO really really hate jorts, but I had to laugh there because I'm pretty sure they dressed that ridiculously on purpose.

And also, Dan's sister is HOT.

schoonie:

Also, WORD on the 'Everyone needs to shut up about the Hawaiian vacation already' monologue.

flipit:

hey guys!! thanks dp! i changed the pics! xo ps schoon of course you like that skinny girl and i don't think anyone dresses like those poor boys on purpose. ;)

DeAnne1233:

Hi All! Just ran across this blog post and had to comment.

Flip, seriously, I had tears streamin from laughing so much at your recap.

I've been a BB watcher for years and what happened on the last show is exactly why I watch it. It's become a familiar pattern. The flip in house control which in turn leads to an HOH winner out for revenge. The looks on their faces every season is 'Oh shit' on both sides for opposite reasons.

As far as the one word description for the HG's, it would have to be; Liar and would apply to all. If you watch BB After Dark, you get an additional 3 hours per night for the viewers to catch all of their lies and badmouthing each other.

My question is, do they not watch the show and pick up clues about what to do an not do while they are in there. Do they learn nothing?

This gang has got to be some of the most childish BB's I've seen, to get to the point that a 75 year old man has become a gossipy school girls. Sheesh!

The next week or so will be pretty entertaining to watch.

Thanks again for the lols Flipit.

Dirty Sanchez:

That Memphis sure is a charismatic fellow. At least Jessie was good for a few laughs, intentional or not.

Damn deviant Libra! Maybe she rolls her head in a very perverse way.

Anyone else notice that Ollie has that "Shit, I banged this crazy chick and now I can't get rid of her" look on his face when April talks to him? Just a few more weeks Rerun and you'll be home free.

renoblondee:

Flippit, you are an absolute genious. Thanks for the hilarious recap as always!
Loves and kisses!

renoblondee:

Sorry about the double p there Flip, typo.... you know who you are I guess, lol.

nerrawllehctim:

Hey, Schoonie. While I was watching the show with the jorts-wearing football team montage, I may have actually seen Joe from BB8 in that group.

juddfan:

Are we sure this isn't Flipbot knocking out all these speedy recaps . . . after all, it's not like our flip it to ponder ending drinking . . . is it!?

Hysterical, Flip, and like the rest, guess we all enjoy some douchery and perhaps will be missing it, but I'm very glad to see the split finally happen and the claws to come out. Good thing Libra got the vaca, coz she's likely toast!!! Well played by Dan, I'm glad to be liking him, and I thought the joy jumps were funny!!! GWRerun just doesn't seem to be the brightest, huh, and glad April isn't lost in delusions of love and is instead just getting some!!!

With Douchey gone, I mean Jessie, hopefully Renny will come out of her shell a bit more and bring on some party girl!!! XOXO

J-Mo:

Heyyyyy, I LIKE a big ass in jorts... it's such a straight-boy fashion thing (and I like white-trash guys, too). Eh, I'm weird that way, I guess, but Jessie didn't do nothin' for me at all (other than make me want to stab my eardrums and burn my corneas). Flipit, you are da mastah of da ass!

love, J-Mo :)

Pixi-stix:

I am so glad to see Jessie go. Jerry needs to leave too, so annoying lately. Also didn't the BB producers think that waking up a 75 year old man with loud sounds might not have been a good idea. Although I guess they thought a heart attack would equal ratings.

Flip: thanks for the Hawaii rant. I feel the same way about people that think all women should have kids. Some of us just don't want to be breeders.

This next week should be interesting.

suckitbitches:

Memphis sure is sitting pretty right now, remember Brian's prediction?

Bye bye Jessie! You are the idiot that did this to yourself.

JustJesse:

This episode was awesome! My Mom and I were on the edge of our seats when the HOH came down to Libra and Michelle and then when Michelle won it, we got almost as loud as she did! Libra has got to go!! I don't even care who she puts up beside her. Just get that annoying woman out of the house. Speaking of that annoying woman, what was with the crap she was giving Jessie for just "sleeping and eating"? If I'm not mistaken, EVERY TIME they cut to Libra in the house she is in bed. And some of Keesha's comments last night pissed me off too. She didn't think it was right to have to vote the way April wanted and yet when she was HOH, everyone had to vote the way SHE wanted. Those two simply make me sick and must be dealt with.

And Flip, Jen will be part of the houseguests coming back. When Julie was talking about it, they showed the people on the screen, one from each of the previous seasons... :-)

Anonymous:

Flip, you rock.

But first:

What the hell was up with Dan's "football" "team"?

'80's era Falcon video, anyone?

foxbasealpha:

At the end of the show, Chenbot mentioned that houseguests from previous seasons were going to compete against the current turds. Wonder who they will be (Bunky? Jen? Matty? Chicken George?)and what the competition involve them doing?

bentley1101:

From what I gathered/saw there is:
1- Chicken George
2- Bunky?
3- Amy
4- Jun
5- Jase
6- Janelle
7- Boogie
8- Jen
9- Matty

itchy:

I don't get it...we're supposed to stick up for Libra now? She's almost as annoying as Jessie--actually even more so because Jessie was a hoot and Libra's just plain boring. So why can't I spank her for ditching her kids? Can I at least make fun of her for always posing with her 'good side' facing the camera?

Anyone notice that Renny keeps looking better and better each week? Maybe it's just because the other gals get more and more haggard.

Can't help myself, I like Dan. And even more now that I see his hot sis (despite the collision with the Avon delivery van). Of course, now that I said I like Dan, he'll be booted out next week. Sorry, fella.

Post a comment

3