Dan sits with Keesha by the pool and asks to talk with her privately because they have so much in common. What, pray tell? Other than being on your knees a lot? Keesha talks about how she wants Jessie gone and Dan says that he wants Memphis in too. Now that she has someone else on her side, she marches in to talk to Libra again and tells her that she's decided f April, she's gonna vote to evict whoever she wants. Libra doesn't know if it's wise to trust Dan because all he does is yell at himself incoherently and laugh at himself in the mirror. Keesha says Dan's the only one they can trust because Rerun's up April's ass without a Trojan, Jerry's offended by Memphis' working penis, and Michelle is currently stalking Jessie even though she ain't never gonna get it.
And then this happens.
You're welcome.
When April leaves, Keesha brings Memphis to the peace room and Libra tells him that if she votes for him and he puts her up next week she will kill him. Dan comes in and Keesha tells Dan that Libra is shifty about him, but he eases their minds and promises that he will vote with them. They all shake and swear and Libra pushes Dan and says after this it's just us! Her husband is probably very very bruised. Then Dan starts jumping up and down in front of the mirrors and shouting "I did it America! I won ten thousand dollas!! YAAY ME! I'm the best America's Player ever!!!" Smooth.
Outside, April wonders to herself if she's pregnant. Or she's thinking about the rising gas costs. Or her woman's intuition is telling her that something isn't right with her alliance. Whatever she's thinking you know it's very deep because she's making that aging deep thought face again.
Aging Deep Thought Face
April spots Jerry on a sun chair and tells him that she was just double teamed. He says "HUH? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" but she refuses to talk above a whisper. Finally, she gets up and does the gyrating and tongue knocking against her cheek thing to symbolize double team. Jerry finally gets it and asks if he can touch her boobs again.
He thinks that they have Dan so he calms April down by telling her that he will go have a conversation with Dan about God and the Military and the parting of the red seas or something to make sure he's not swayed by the other team. Jerry thinks that Dan will do whatever Jerry says because he brought Dan into his alliance and saved him. April laughs and smiles and pats him on the back. He doesn't leave, so she she shrugs and lets him cop a feel before he goes on his way.
Jerry finds Dan playing with his balls in the pool and starts the big talk. "Dan, it's just you, me, and your balls." He lets Dan know that April is gonna put Memphis up and Dan does his best not to splash water at the big prune and snap at him to catch up. Instead, he rubs his ear like he might have water in it and asks if Jerry means that April wants Memphis evicted. Jerry shouts "shut up you stupid woman!" and starts shooing invisible flies away. Dan just stays quiet with his balls in his hands and waits for Jer to continue. Then Jerry starts yammering on about keeping your word and staying true to your alliance. Abraham almost sacrificed his son just because God told him to. You know why? Because they were in an alliance. Jerry gets up and kinda puffs out his chest and walks away with a droopy wink, proud of the education he just gave to his young friend. Dan just looks kinda confused and goes back to his balls.
If America tells me to vote out Abraham, he's screwed. Sorry yo.
Jerry finds Jessie in bed (don't tell Libra, she'll kill him) and tells him that he's got Dan on their side and Jessie's covered. Jessie nods furiously and keeps saying "I know I know I know" over and over before rolling over and going back to bed. Jerry asks if he knows that Abraham almost killed his son because God asked him to and Jessie hits him with a pillow and tells him to lock himself in the bathroom and push the reset button.
« Date My Ex: How CUTE! | Main | So You Think You Can Dance: Finale Part 2: So They Think They Can Still Dance! »


Comments (22)
OK, everyone...let's hear what your one-word response would be when you hear the same houseguests' names that Julie gave Jessie. Was it really as hard as Jessie made it seem? And why didn't he get mad at America disrespecting him when he was trying to sleep? (It really would have been funny, btw, if one of the recorded messages was someone sounding like Renny that first night in the house!)
1 of 22 | Posted by trink621 | Posted on August 8, 2008 6:10 AM
Oh Flip, I am on vacation at the in-laws and I haven't seen the show since the last live show. I have been reading the recaps. What a great way to wake up -- bye bye Jessie. I have been snickering to myself so nobody knows what I am doing. Great recap! Too many funny things. I can't wait to get home a go through my TiVo and see all the hijinks. You make it sound like I missed a good week.
Many hearts to you.
2 of 22 | Posted by bbjunkie | Posted on August 8, 2008 6:14 AM
Why are that dude's jorts on Dan's football team so freakin tight? They're like spandex jorts. sick.
This was such a good episode! Great recap Flip! and is it just me, or is Rerun's head getting bigger by the episode??
3 of 22 | Posted by carrie | Posted on August 8, 2008 7:11 AM
I really liked Jessie, and was sad to see him go. However, him leaving had the potential to stir up much much more drama, so it's a fair trade. Michelle winning HOH was the best. I hope it's non-stop meltdowns this week.
I'm so excited for next week. Bring on the real BB players!
4 of 22 | Posted by lickitysplit | Posted on August 8, 2008 7:12 AM
Were the before her name and after her name April screencaps supposed to be the same? Or was the before supposed to be Aging Deep Thought Concerned Face?
Hilarious recap - Michelle is going to be insufferable this week. When she was hooting and hollaring after winning, i was like "OK Michelle..we get it. you did it for jessie, and he STILL doesn't want to fuck you."
5 of 22 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on August 8, 2008 8:04 AM
I DO really really hate jorts, but I had to laugh there because I'm pretty sure they dressed that ridiculously on purpose.
And also, Dan's sister is HOT.
6 of 22 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 8, 2008 8:18 AM
Also, WORD on the 'Everyone needs to shut up about the Hawaiian vacation already' monologue.
7 of 22 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 8, 2008 8:19 AM
hey guys!! thanks dp! i changed the pics! xo ps schoon of course you like that skinny girl and i don't think anyone dresses like those poor boys on purpose. ;)
8 of 22 | Posted by flipit | Posted on August 8, 2008 9:04 AM
Hi All! Just ran across this blog post and had to comment.
Flip, seriously, I had tears streamin from laughing so much at your recap.
I've been a BB watcher for years and what happened on the last show is exactly why I watch it. It's become a familiar pattern. The flip in house control which in turn leads to an HOH winner out for revenge. The looks on their faces every season is 'Oh shit' on both sides for opposite reasons.
As far as the one word description for the HG's, it would have to be; Liar and would apply to all. If you watch BB After Dark, you get an additional 3 hours per night for the viewers to catch all of their lies and badmouthing each other.
My question is, do they not watch the show and pick up clues about what to do an not do while they are in there. Do they learn nothing?
This gang has got to be some of the most childish BB's I've seen, to get to the point that a 75 year old man has become a gossipy school girls. Sheesh!
The next week or so will be pretty entertaining to watch.
Thanks again for the lols Flipit.
9 of 22 | Posted by DeAnne1233 | Posted on August 8, 2008 9:33 AM
That Memphis sure is a charismatic fellow. At least Jessie was good for a few laughs, intentional or not.
Damn deviant Libra! Maybe she rolls her head in a very perverse way.
Anyone else notice that Ollie has that "Shit, I banged this crazy chick and now I can't get rid of her" look on his face when April talks to him? Just a few more weeks Rerun and you'll be home free.
10 of 22 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on August 8, 2008 10:19 AM
Flippit, you are an absolute genious. Thanks for the hilarious recap as always!
Loves and kisses!
11 of 22 | Posted by renoblondee | Posted on August 8, 2008 10:39 AM
Sorry about the double p there Flip, typo.... you know who you are I guess, lol.
12 of 22 | Posted by renoblondee | Posted on August 8, 2008 10:41 AM
Hey, Schoonie. While I was watching the show with the jorts-wearing football team montage, I may have actually seen Joe from BB8 in that group.
13 of 22 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on August 8, 2008 11:16 AM
Are we sure this isn't Flipbot knocking out all these speedy recaps . . . after all, it's not like our flip it to ponder ending drinking . . . is it!?
Hysterical, Flip, and like the rest, guess we all enjoy some douchery and perhaps will be missing it, but I'm very glad to see the split finally happen and the claws to come out. Good thing Libra got the vaca, coz she's likely toast!!! Well played by Dan, I'm glad to be liking him, and I thought the joy jumps were funny!!! GWRerun just doesn't seem to be the brightest, huh, and glad April isn't lost in delusions of love and is instead just getting some!!!
With Douchey gone, I mean Jessie, hopefully Renny will come out of her shell a bit more and bring on some party girl!!! XOXO
14 of 22 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on August 8, 2008 11:20 AM
Heyyyyy, I LIKE a big ass in jorts... it's such a straight-boy fashion thing (and I like white-trash guys, too). Eh, I'm weird that way, I guess, but Jessie didn't do nothin' for me at all (other than make me want to stab my eardrums and burn my corneas). Flipit, you are da mastah of da ass!
love, J-Mo :)
15 of 22 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on August 8, 2008 12:28 PM
I am so glad to see Jessie go. Jerry needs to leave too, so annoying lately. Also didn't the BB producers think that waking up a 75 year old man with loud sounds might not have been a good idea. Although I guess they thought a heart attack would equal ratings.
Flip: thanks for the Hawaii rant. I feel the same way about people that think all women should have kids. Some of us just don't want to be breeders.
This next week should be interesting.
16 of 22 | Posted by Pixi-stix | Posted on August 8, 2008 12:40 PM
Memphis sure is sitting pretty right now, remember Brian's prediction?
Bye bye Jessie! You are the idiot that did this to yourself.
17 of 22 | Posted by suckitbitches | Posted on August 8, 2008 12:57 PM
This episode was awesome! My Mom and I were on the edge of our seats when the HOH came down to Libra and Michelle and then when Michelle won it, we got almost as loud as she did! Libra has got to go!! I don't even care who she puts up beside her. Just get that annoying woman out of the house. Speaking of that annoying woman, what was with the crap she was giving Jessie for just "sleeping and eating"? If I'm not mistaken, EVERY TIME they cut to Libra in the house she is in bed. And some of Keesha's comments last night pissed me off too. She didn't think it was right to have to vote the way April wanted and yet when she was HOH, everyone had to vote the way SHE wanted. Those two simply make me sick and must be dealt with.
And Flip, Jen will be part of the houseguests coming back. When Julie was talking about it, they showed the people on the screen, one from each of the previous seasons... :-)
18 of 22 | Posted by JustJesse | Posted on August 8, 2008 1:20 PM
Flip, you rock.
But first:
What the hell was up with Dan's "football" "team"?
'80's era Falcon video, anyone?
19 of 22 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on August 8, 2008 4:44 PM
At the end of the show, Chenbot mentioned that houseguests from previous seasons were going to compete against the current turds. Wonder who they will be (Bunky? Jen? Matty? Chicken George?)and what the competition involve them doing?
20 of 22 | Posted by foxbasealpha | Posted on August 8, 2008 4:45 PM
From what I gathered/saw there is:
1- Chicken George
2- Bunky?
3- Amy
4- Jun
5- Jase
6- Janelle
7- Boogie
8- Jen
9- Matty
21 of 22 | Posted by bentley1101 | Posted on August 8, 2008 10:14 PM
I don't get it...we're supposed to stick up for Libra now? She's almost as annoying as Jessie--actually even more so because Jessie was a hoot and Libra's just plain boring. So why can't I spank her for ditching her kids? Can I at least make fun of her for always posing with her 'good side' facing the camera?
Anyone notice that Renny keeps looking better and better each week? Maybe it's just because the other gals get more and more haggard.
Can't help myself, I like Dan. And even more now that I see his hot sis (despite the collision with the Avon delivery van). Of course, now that I said I like Dan, he'll be booted out next week. Sorry, fella.
22 of 22 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 11, 2008 9:30 AM