Big Brother: Christ Takes a Stand Against Numerology

Tonight, on Big Brother...

Picture 10-7
Is Chelsia pregnant with a giant moley mohawked baby, or is champagne a bloater?

We start with booming announcer guy reminding us that everyone left hates Nat. Moose and Ryan say that it might be smart to keep someone who would automatically lose in the final two, but come on. We've all seen this show and we know that even though tonight's outcome is inevitable, Groedner will shovel a bunch of crap down our throats to get us to sit our fat pasty asses down for another hour instead of seeing what's going on over on USA's Law and Order: Special Victims Unit repeats. You know Mariska Hargitay's being chased, or stalked, or just generally being disrespected by child molesters. Good times.

The bot is dressed like she was the very first day she was given to us as a gift. Member that shiny, sweet little bot with a fake flower double sided taped to her? We thought wow, she'll cook, she'll clean...nope. She'll just stutter and cross her legs and bang rich old dudes who run tv studios. That's all well and good, but why is my house still dirty?

Picture 1-28
Pick up a toilet brush and make yourself useful, Rosie.

Anyhoo, The Chen catches us up on the same info booming announcer guy gave us: The world hates Natalie. She tells us that the men are in control, but are they smart enough to wield their power without hurting themselves? We all know the answer to that. If they were any smarter, we would be watching SVU. Smart people solving crimes at 8PM on a Wednesday = cable subscription. Stupid neanderthals quoting pink pleather Bibles = priceless.

Flashback to Sheila tearfully replacing Moose with Nat on the block. Oh boo hoo, Sheila. All she did was talk about how she was gonna slice Nat's Bible and serve it to her on a platter, have the balls to do it! When you boo hoo it just makes you as fake and pathetic as...well, everyone else. I don't know what I was expecting. Nat handing Sheila that HOH was probably the dumbest move made yet this season, but it taught us something. Don't help the needy! If they ask you for money, throw a diet coke can at their head and trust that someone in the government will hook them up with some cold soup and a hole-y blanket infected with ebola and get rid of them. Isn't that why we pay taxes?

Ah, but I digress. Nat fucked up and now she is gonna pay. Sharon tells us that it's an absolute pleasure being on the block with someone who is so delightfully ignorant of the fact that her ass is going home, and Sheila gets cocky with us, saying that Nat is out and "buhbye". Yeah, you're a badass, which is why you had to be handed your only win in the entire game. Sheila becomes more and more entertaining by the moment, but come on. Shut up, you fucking weakling. Your saggy ate up ass would be outta there had this nitwit not stepped up to the plate and helped you.

Nat goes to find Moose and Ryan lying around and playing Candyland. Kidding! They're reading the Bible, duh! Moose asks her what they should do and she says that she has never lied to them and they should keep her. Ryan tells us that Nat is playing both sides and can't be trusted. I love that it's Ryan saying that. He's had deals with every single member of the game so far. Ah, but guys with sculpted model jaws can't be expected to, you know, remember things.

Picture 2-23
E=MC2jawed

Later, Ryan finds Moose, who's decided to butch up the pink Bible with a piece of blue cloth, to decide what to do this week since they have all the power. It goes as you might expect: "Duh" "Dude!" "Yo!" What the..." "We have power!" "Let's ask everyone else what we should do." Smooth.

They decide to have a house meeting, and when Nat comes in for her hourly "you better not put me on the block or God will smite your fat asses" routine, they inform her of the pow wow. They won't tell her what it's about, but to be fair, I don't think they know yet.

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Comments (26)

tadow:

Perhaps you were joking, but the third couple in the house was the guinea pigs. It was captioned on the screen. Thank God this is almost over!

flipit:

perhaps i was joking? you give me way too much credit. i totally wasn't. what a dumbass. i must have been typing and missed the caption. btw, how is that fair? i call shenannies!

anyway thank you for setting me straight. i was getting nasty images in my head trying to piece that puzzle together. xo

Dirty Sanchez:

Sheila gets a gift-wrapped HOH (dump move Nat, ranks right up there with Marcellus's POV brain freeze) and all of a sudden she's a badass. "What are you doooing? I want Natalie goawan!"

Ugh. Stop your whining leathertits, the only reason you're around is because everyone wants to be in the final 2 with you.

Cara:

I am not sure if you were joking either, about the bible, but just in case, the blue cover was Sharon's blankie which she sometimes keeps wrapped around her Precious Moments bible.
Love your recaps!

DP Hooker:

Agreed on sheila, thank YEW! I was saying this shit after Sunday's show when she was talking like such a badass even though she got the HOH handed to her and has not even come close to winning anything else.

I was glad the boys made her vote Natalie out but like you said, Sheila is angling to get back on good terms with everyone in the house right before they leave. It would make me sick if she won it all. I guess with Midge winning HOH he is putting up Sharon and Sheila, and we all know Sheila is not going to win the POV right? KNOW THAT.

James is such a dick, and then to go into see Chelsia after he made her cry and be like HIIII are you ok? with that shit-eating grin on his face, wow.

wormfood33:

i call shenanigans on that relationship question too. i swear, why do i get the feeling it was a trick question to screw sharon out of winning? big brother it's so hard to trust you!!

great recap but you missed the best part-- natalie's face when she realized that she just pledged her loyalty out loud to the boys and now she needs shelia to save her. the pleading look on her face was awesome!!

anyway, i liked nat when she started but she went a little christ crazy (and other kinds of crazy too) and now i'm very glad to see her gone.

bigjr6633:

The question about the pre-existing relationship was obviously rigged so Sharon wouldn't win. I mean seriously who was going to think of the guinea pigs as a pre-existing relationship.

BB sucks, Sharon should've won that last HOH, this year sucks, can they just end this show already?

Hey Buddy:

wormfood -

How could the "relationship question" be meant as a trick to keep Sharon from winning? Didn't they all have to answer the same question? I'll grant you that it was the stupidest question/answer ever, but it was fair.

I don't think Rye-Bread and Baller are the stupidest contensants to ever play the game, but their nicknames are possibly the worst.

wormfood33:

HB--
i see what you're getting at.

i guess what i meant was, not that the question was rigged, but the answer.

the producers could have easily had two answers for that question so that they could control who got the point.

not saying it happened, not saying it's even likely. i just don't trust BB the way i used to. wouldn't put it past them.

Alafoss:

The amazing thing is that Ryan only got the question right because he misunderstood it. The question was only about the people remaining in the Big Brother House, but Ryan seemed to think it included people in the sequester house, too. Hence his statement that the pre-existing relationship was between Matt and Sheila.

Scarlet:

I had the same theory about the last question, it was rigged. Case in point... play it back and notice the bot's awkward pause... I'm pissed... Sharon would have won and there would have been no tie-breaker... they couldn't have that. BOLOGNI!!

lexxi1129:

Great recap, Flipit!

The best part of the show was at the end when they were all pondering the existing relationship that's still in the house...Sheila was looking at Moose, saying "You do look like my cousin on my father's side!" Hilarious!

weasel dearest:

Is it called a "just dessert?" A dessert is served at the end of a meal and this is the end of the show...

The look on Natalie's face when she was told it was a "tie" was priceless.

It's ironic that Natalie finally had to pick a side and, then, she picked the wrong side.

Keep putting up shots of Ryan without his shirt. Is he going to be handsome and rich?

gittel712:

Last night was the first time I have watched this show. Is the big, dumb looking guy autistic?

gittel712:

Last night was the first time I have watched this show. Is the big, dumb looking guy autistic?

gittel712:

Can anyone tell me if the big guy with the vacant look in his eyes is autistic?

gittel712:

My apologies to all for posting the same question three times. I am learning as I go along:)

TinkerbellAPixie:

I'm on board with thinking that relationship question was rigged. There was an unusually long pause before the bot revealed the answer. The length of the pause could imply that she was waiting for further instructions from the booth.

It seemed all the OTHER questions were designed to debunk some of the houseguests more wild theories. They HAD theorized that the toy in the gp cage had meaning, they thought the number 8 had meaning and they kept assuming there were more relationships in the house.

I think the original answer was that there were not more relationships in the house. BUT - they saw that Ryan was guessing Fact while the others guessed fiction and it was an opportunity to pull a tie.

THEN - the tiebreaker was a type of question that Ryan had already proved to be quite adept at. In a previous POV comp and in the 21 game luxury comp - when the games required solving quick math problems - RYAN has always gotten the most right (even tho he was too chicken in the POV and folded each time).

I think BB rigged the outcome, I think the relationship question was hooey, i think the teacup question last year was hooey, I think the golf game a few years ago with martin was hooey and I still think there was a second gunman on the grassy knoll.

Phew...there... I said it.

Btw, still amazed at how pitiful this year's sequester house is. I guess when you are a crappier cast you get crappier digs.

giffordsaz:

This week surprised me I must say. Adam and Ryan planned to force that vote and they did it very quietly. They told each girl they were safe and never let on what they were actaully going to do.......

I am happy though, Natalie was driving me bat crazy with all her stupidity...

I also think the final couples answer was rigged.
But tell me this...
Did sharon actually hear the final question? She answered 3 hours which was close to Natalie's total time,not everyone's times totaled up. Even in my math addled mind I came up with 7 hours times 60 minutes... 7 x 6 = 42 and the zero comes up with 420 minutes....... then you had Sharon's 7 minutes. and I wasn't even there!

(my pek will be so proud of me!!)

Hi flipit.. how are you doing babe????

misticristi:

Gittel712,
No, Adam isn't autistic, he's just drawn that way.

Okay, I know that everyone is going to disagree with me but I think BB asked the couples question because the groyp that is left is sooooooooooo boring that this will make them all question and second guess each other and shake things up. I for one am really glad that Sharon didn't win. I think her whole plan is to sit back and not do anything but win the last important compitions and win the the whole game. I hate that. I actually felt bad for Nat

JustJesse:

"Sharon never moves from behind that lampshade, and I kinda love her for it, but it's also the reason I can never get behind Sharon. She's done NOTHING, and will continue to til the very end if they let her."

Perhaps that is her strategy? I mean, yes, she has been on the block like 5 or 6 times now, but she is still there. Nat stirred the pot and look where it got her. Why not let the other houseguests get upset with eachother, take one another out, and then reap the rewards? Granted, she probably doesn't deserve to be in the final two, nor do I think she will make it that far, but I think she has played one of the smartest games in the house. And with the low level of anything the people in this house have, that's saying quite a lot!

FuriousFlipper:

Ah, great recap.

I want the whole "under the bus" thing retired. It is over.

Even though I wanted this Natalie eviction to work, I must say that the idea of these four together is a bit snore inducing. We shall see.

And Sheila, glad that she had to make that decision. For a second there, I thought that she would wimp out.

And James - unbelievable.

Josh is a sociopath. Sue me.

CheriesTake:

I was actually hoping Nat would pull it off and stay. She is batshit crazy and also very entertaining. The rest of these people suck big donkey balls! James blowing Chelsia out of the water like that and then acting like it was no big deal shows just how much of an ass he is. Pathetic. It almost made me feel sorry for Chelsia but then I remembered Chelsia. She's a bitch.
Whoever up there called Sheila leather tits, I am still fucking laughing at that. Thats her name from now on! 46 my ass!
Thanks flipit,
love ya!

hardlyworking:

misticristi,

I will agree with you, I`m not convinced that the couples question was rigged.

I think that what we witnessed was a classic ChenBot malfunction. It seemed to me that the ChenBot was confused...her hardrive was telling her the answer was "fiction" but yet, her cue card was telling her it was "fact".

While we had the benefit of captioning to let us know who the question was referring to...I wonder if the monitor that Julie was viewing also showed the captioning.

On the other hand I wouldn`t put it past CBS to rig this for one guest or another to win, it just didn`t feel like that was the case. I think they knew that this would stir up the remaining guests.

MissThing:

I am tttttthrilled that Nat got evicted. She was a slut, and a stupid slut at that. I am still surprised that she passionately and frequently denied giving several BJs mere days after meeting Matty. HELLO. You know damn well that it must have been all caught on tape, since all you talk abut is what America thinks about what their seeing. WE ALL SAE THE HEAD BOBBING NATTY.

I don' want Ryan to get it, cause I don't want Jen to benefit (what a coneied biatch Jen was. And, she threw Ryan under the bus by claiming he wa a racist to save herself) Right now, I don't have a strong favorite I'm rooting for. Out of Sharon, Sheila and Adam, I guess I'd vote for Adam. The strongest plaer of the three of them, and the most entertaining.

duckncvr:

I felt really not right about the relationship question.. I figured the answer would be "fact" just b/c it was just too obvious it would be "fiction." I think Ryan said "fact" for this same reason. I think he thought the answer was really "fiction", but figured Sharon would answer it that way, and if the obvious answer was wrong, and he answered the non-obvious way ("fact") then he'd be up one on her.. I don't think he misunderstood the question at all -- each pairing Julie mentioned had one person still in the BB house.. I think he was as surprised as everyone at learning there's another relationship in the house.. Totally bogus stupid question/answer. And Julie's awkward pausing makes me call BS nonetheless...

Also, Sheila played her voting nat off as a direct result of nat's swearing allegiance to the boys, and NOT as what she initially wanted to do, anyway, which is a smart move. So, why did she make such a big damn deal about it after Nat left?? I also love how ryan and adam's goodbye speeches were edited to look like ryan voted for nat to stay, and adam voted for nat to go... if either of those two make it to the final two, it will be interesting to see how Nat votes based on that..!!!

and how stupid are those boys -- do they really believe if sharon had a vote that nat would have answered them the same way in that confrontation?? duh..

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