Previously on Big Brother, I went to the beach and missed all this:
Deus ex ma-Chima
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am!"
So, the last two episodes were epic. Is there any of that action left, or are we due for a boring episode? Let's do this.
In tonight's news, everyone plans to... wait for it... play hard and win the veto. All except Lydiot, who plans to lose early and go out in a blaze of pink hair dye. Lydia is also shocked she's up for eviction for the 4th straight time. You'd think she would have learned something by now.
Jordan takes Ratalie aside and tells her she's the pawn and she shouldn't have anything to worry about. I'm now almost totally convinced that Jordan has never watched this show. Ratalie has, though, and she knows better. She does what she does best, which is run to her alliance and squeal this new development. Kevin ponders using the veto on Ratalie instead of Lydia. He may be smart, but he's also smart enough to not want Lydia to kill him in his sleep in the jury house.
Meanwhile, Russell brags to Michele that "the best thing I did was stay a loner most of the time. Like a lone wolf." Well, that and doing Jessie's dirty work for the first month. He says he respects Michele for playing the game the same way he has, and he needs a "villain" to take to the final two.
"Would anyone with teeth this white lie to you?"
They worry about the other couple in their alliance and wonder if it's time to get rid of them. Right on cue, almost like a little voice on a loudspeaker told him to, Jeff walks in. Awkward! Here it comes, showmance vs. showmance in the final 4. Can't wait.
Back over in the Nerd Herd, Ratalydiot is having a Who's The Sluttiest contest.
I think we have a winner.
Kevin breaks the news to them that they were being played. They vow to get their revenge on Jessie in the jury house. I guess the mourning period is officially over.
Now that 2/3 of them are nominated, the Nerd Herd decides some gameplay might be in order. Or, in Ducky's words, "We need to create a complete fabrication." I don't know, I think fabricating a creation would be better, but that's just me. Their idea, which is 1) blindingly obvious and 2) not half bad if they can pull it off, is to tell Jeff and Jordan that Russell and Michele are thinking about getting rid of them next week. Lucky for them, as we've just seen, there's some truth to this. They decide to call it, and I don't have captions on so I'm guessing here, but... "Operation Bosley And The Two Angels".
I'd settle for Operation Coordinate Primary Colors.
Anyway, Kevin says he's a terrible liar, so naturally he gets the job of lying to Jeff. Isn't this right up Ratalie's ball of tea? Lucky for Kevin, Jeff is not the world's best poker player, so he buys everything Kevin says. Jeff makes the obligatory proposal to backdoor Russell. Not. Gonna. Happen. Jordan's thoughts: "I have to make sure that me and Jeff are still on top, and that we are safe from all angles, so we don't get like a stab in the back." Apparently Jordan's not any better at geometry than she is at telling time.
And we're live! Green Chenbot (it's a theme tonight, you'll see) gives the first question to Jeff:
"So, how bout that Power of Coupe DeVille, huh? Any regrets using it?"
Jeff thinks the dust has settled now. Oh please say it ain't so. Flipit and Schoonie got all the dust, and now everything's nice and clean and boring again. No dust equals boring recap.
"Kevin, why do you feel guilty about Chima leaving?"
Kevin thinks he could have done more to prevent her "nucular" meltdown. Ducky is also not much good at strategery in addition to being co-depenedent.
"Lydia, or should I call you Captain Unitard, how have your feelings toward Jessie changed?"
"If I get put in the jury house, he'll have one angry pink-haired lady to deal with."
Chenbot: "Now I kinda want to see you leave tonight, to see that happen." HAHAHA. Thank you, programmers, for activating the sass circuit tonight. She then asks Jordan what it was like to be HOH. Jordan says she took a lot of bubble baths. And picked her own boogers. And on that note, let's take a break.
Where's Flipit?
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Comments (17)
Schoonie, odds are in your favor that you'll get a blockbuster episode next time you come up in the rotation. Loved the recap.
shanti
1 of 17 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on August 21, 2009 7:42 AM
I liked Kevin's rechristening of HiroChima. Good name for her, considering the destruction she caused for their alliance.
Still rooting for a Jeff, Jordan, Russell, Michelle final four. I'd love to see four people I actually like have a shot a winning.
2 of 17 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on August 21, 2009 8:11 AM
Two things I found funny: the audience did not applaud once during Lydiot's interview...and there was no goodbye montage for her from the remaining houseguests.
3 of 17 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on August 21, 2009 8:17 AM
Very glad the four stuck to the plan and they didn't backdoor Russell this week.
4 of 17 | Posted by suckitbitches | Posted on August 21, 2009 9:15 AM
Oh, CopyHacker, I truly feel sorry for you. The last two episodes were truly fantastic, and this was bound to be a let down. Have faith, though... there should be plenty of crazy in the rotation for you before this season is through.
And I don't think they did goodbye messages because with the veto still up for grabs there was the chance for several other houseguests to go up on the block and get evicted. They didn't do it last week, either, because of Coup d'Etat. Oh well....
5 of 17 | Posted by slumrville | Posted on August 21, 2009 9:45 AM
I know the first week of the season, Natalie lied about being eighteen. Has she kept that up this whole time or do the other people in the house know it was a lie at this point? I've haven't seen it mentioned either way in the past weeks and may have missed something.
6 of 17 | Posted by Alafoss | Posted on August 21, 2009 10:13 AM
Hey, I didn't write this, shanti! I got the crazy awesome episode from Tuesday. Nanny boo boo and whatnot. Sorry about yo luck, Copy.
7 of 17 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 21, 2009 10:19 AM
There was no goodbye montage because the veto had not been played yet, and there was a possibility that anyone could go home. Every houseguest would have had to make a goodbye video for every other houseguest (including Jordan), and even then, the editors wouldn't have time to cut a goodbye clip package together for every single houseguest in time.
8 of 17 | Posted by schoonie | Posted on August 21, 2009 10:21 AM
I thought I heard Jeff mention in this episode something about Natalie being only 18, so I think that lie is still around, though BB has let her drink. How do they explain that, or is this group all too dumb to ask. Quite possibly.
9 of 17 | Posted by alicethemaid | Posted on August 21, 2009 11:12 AM
RE: Natalie's drinking....I think her alliance once thought that she was "getting away" with something when she drank Jessie's wine, so yes, I think they're all too dumb to realize it. The other thing I find funny, is that you have to be 21 at the time of your application to even be on BB. So....yeah.
10 of 17 | Posted by qupert | Posted on August 21, 2009 11:18 AM
And they have to be ten kinds of stupid to thinkg CBS would alow someone to break the law ON TV. It would make the network liable for criminal charges, as well.
These people are dumb as (kicked) rocks.
11 of 17 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on August 21, 2009 11:42 AM
How come Lydia always looks like a cheap hooker? If I was driving down Sunset Blvd. and saw Lydia I would think, "Hooker!"
Thanks for the recap.
I hope Natalie doesn't win the HOH competition.
12 of 17 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on August 21, 2009 12:33 PM
Mr. D, not only does Lydia look like a cheap hooker but she and Ratalie both constantly look like they must smell horrible. Like some nasty mix of Jessie's ball sweat, skank and B.O. Or is it just me?
13 of 17 | Posted by sandman | Posted on August 21, 2009 1:14 PM
Copy & Schoonie- my apologies. Copy, I knew it was you but had Schoonie on the brain because he's always whining. ;)
When I screw up, I always make sure it's top of the heap and not buried.
14 of 17 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on August 21, 2009 6:31 PM
You mean Schoonie's a guy? Ah shit, you people all look the same to me.
Recappers, I mean. Um...see...I...um...
Anyway, I had my own private nerdy giggle when Lydiot claimed that Jesse was going to pay the Great Piper because in Dutch "pijpen" (pronounced sort of like pipe-uh) means to give a blowjob and in French "piper" (especially when pronounced with my annoying Jersey accent to the wife) means to give a blowjob.
Of course, I had no one here to laugh about that with me, but there you go. Sucks being an expat sometimes.
Oh yeah, Hirochima...how could we have overlooked that one?
I just got back from vacation so I didn't get to rant about that bitch when she was kicked off. I really hope she reads everything people have said about her. Except she'd probably have a complete breakdown. Wish they'd have the cameras on her for THAT.
15 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on August 23, 2009 8:45 AM
Anyone else think Kevin shops at Delia's? He wears the same thing my 12 year old daughter wears!
16 of 17 | Posted by kitty | Posted on August 23, 2009 8:52 AM
Uh, I would say two of the three.
17 of 17 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on August 23, 2009 11:36 AM