Previously on Big Brother, James yelled at people while wearing underwear that he stole from Lane Bryant.
Julie welcomes us to tonight's live show, wearing...well, she actually looks pretty damn good. I mean, she's got a big plastic chain around her waist, but that's just there from that one time when she broke free from her restraints and leveled several Midwestern cities. She tells us all the stuff that the previouslies just told us, as she does every single Wednesday. Man, I love that she just wants us to get the message. I know I say this in every recap, but I hate when this show does this shit, every week. What happened on Tuesday? LET'S REWATCH IT EIGHT TIMES! I am convinced that there are subliminal messages in that shit, because that's the only reason they'd do it. To make us all want some Pringles, yo.
But first! Julie tells us about how there are "crocodile tears", and they totally must have programmed her not to short out at the concept. Producers: "Here you'll say 'crocodile tears', Julie.' Chenbot: "BUT...my data says that crocodiles have no tear ducts. ERROR 404!"
After the veto ceremony (Way to go in the veto comp, BTW, James. That was pretty sick), Sharon tells us that she's pretty sure Josh is going home. Josh, however, is feeling confident. He also has a yellow bandana on his head. Isn't there some sort of gay bandana code? If so, how did the only straight BB recapper end up with this episode? Oh, wait, I read about the bandana code on this very site! Now I don't hate myself for knowing that. However, I will not be looking up what it means, because it's probably watersports or something, and that will gross me out.
However, Natalie does not want to be a tiebreaker, because it's almost certainly going to make her enemies. Josh looks concerned about this. What do you do when you are concerned? Well, cry until everyone votes for someone else, of course! Josh waits for Adam to walk in from outside and he just manufactures this spectacular show for him. He makes it look like Adam has walked in on him, and it starts out really really poorly acted, and then all of a sudden Josh is seriously crying and tears are literally falling off his nose and then he's hugging Adam and then Adam is crying and I have no idea what is going on. Luckily, someone will probably be telling me about it in flashback in like two minutes.
Adam, to his credit because he is probably a nice guy and also a bit dull, actually tries to make Josh feel better by hugging him and at one point, he wipes his nose for him. Just like he does with the retarded kids when they escape from their pen and bump their heads!
In the hot tub with Josh and James, Natalie would like them to justify keeping Josh around. "How do I know you won't come after me?" Wait, so Sharon won't go after her too? Wait, then Sharon and Natalie are in the HOH and Natalie is telling Sharon everything about how Josh came to her and tried to make a deal. Sharon promises that she won't put Natalie up all of a sudden (?) and they decide to form some sort of female alliance. So then they're calling Sheila up and they forge this alliance. Sheila is incredulous about Josh trying to make a deal, which I do not understand. Have any of these people actually met Josh?
Natalie tells us that she's going to go work Adam and Ryan to make sure that they don't vote to keep Josh. She brings Ryan up into the HOH and he tells her that he's safer with Josh in the house, which she is unable to negate. Ryan does think he can't trust Sharon, however, so Natalie goes and gets Sharon. Sharon tells him that she'd never betray him, and then they form The Most Boring Alliance Ever, because they have so much in common. Like the fact that they're both boring. As hell. Also, why is this show insisting on painting Natalie as some sort of strategic mastermind?
James and Josh talk by the pool, where Josh tells James that he thinks Natalie will keep him. "I'm tired of babysitting Sharon anyway" he says. Wait, so he's been babysitting her? I've got it all wrong!
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Comments (10)
It seems like James only has this clear "perspective" when he is not the one being persecuted/lied to/backdoored/left alone with no friends nor allies/evicted and then brought back into the house. Didn't he spend the entire Tuesday night episode crying? He's just full of shit.
Does anyone else notice how nervous Sheila is during the live vote when she has to interact with the ChenBot? She looks like a deer in headlights and talks in a totally different voice than she uses in the house. I would have thought a Penthouse pet with as much acting experience as her would be more comfortable in front of the camera.
1 of 10 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on April 3, 2008 4:39 PM
Josh's poor parents. His mom looked like she just wanted to crawl into a cave and hide.
Being true to yourself = misogyny, calling women cunts, making comments about someone's dead dad, crying like a little bitch, and flitting about with a feather duster while your man boobs flop around. You keep it real Josh!
2 of 10 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on April 3, 2008 7:13 PM
Hi! Did anyone else notice that they did NOT show a goodbye message from Sheila to JoshUAH? (I am SO glad he is gone, by the way. Hope his folks find out about the drugs up the a** and teach him about HIV.)
3 of 10 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on April 4, 2008 9:51 AM
It was very satisfying to see Joshua go. Now if only they could get rid of Hobo Hank, everything would be perfect. Dull, but perfect.
4 of 10 | Posted by Hey Buddy | Posted on April 4, 2008 11:23 AM
Yeah, they don't show all of the goodbye messages for some reason. If they're that hate filled and raunchy, then put them up on the web site on the After Dark show. Maybe they're pressed for time because they have to recap what happened in the previous episode 8 times.
That was a sucky HOH competition, especially when you're down to the final 6 and it's almost set in stone that certain people will get nominated if they don't win HOH. Not that I have any empathy for Hobo banana hammock wearing Hank, but it has to suck to go up on the block because you didn't know how many pillows are in the house.
5 of 10 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on April 4, 2008 3:28 PM
So funny ,again, and I wasn't even drinking. I like the re-caps better than the show. God help me I'm so ashamed, I actually, sorta, just for a moment, thought Adam was a tiny bit sweet and almost cute (?) when he was being nice to asswipe Josh. I loved when he was talking about his crappy crying and he said he would be great on a soap! Holy crap! I think he figures this is one big audition tape for the Young and the Restless. Bottom line, they all suck. I hate myself for even knowing who they are.
6 of 10 | Posted by michele | Posted on April 4, 2008 8:48 PM
C-MacKenzie..."drugs up the *ss" Hunh? What is that about? Did he do something like that?
7 of 10 | Posted by ReeseWitherspoon | Posted on April 5, 2008 1:09 PM
I already miss my boy Josh. There will be no gay sensibility in the house anymore. No eye rolling. No smirks. No random shower nudity. No screaming. (Oh, wait, Chelsia's boyfriend is still there.)
It'll be straight-ees 24/7 now. I'm probably gonna fall asleep during every episode from this point on.
Thankfully, Ryan is still in the house to perk me up.
8 of 10 | Posted by weasel dearest | Posted on April 5, 2008 3:33 PM
Ok so this is from the live feeds, no it isn't a spoiler:
Adam/Ryan/Natalie are all accusing BB of making the games to James' advantage. Adam said that they (BB) know James is up all night counting things, and he was one question away from winning. The only other person that counts that much is Natalie, and she couldn't play.
I know he didn't win, but I've been starting to think that too. The whole "mystery box vs. James" thing was obviously created that day, when the producers found out the house voted James out (it wasn't a live vote). They want him there to "make good tv".
9 of 10 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on April 6, 2008 12:22 PM
Reese-oh yes he did. Coke in fact. That's one thing CBS will never show: all the talking between James/Chelsia/Josh about their nasty sexual exploits. Josh also doesn't think you can get HIV if you are a "top"....
I'm so glad he's gone, and Michele I'm with you. I think he was trying to audition for a soap. What a jackass.
10 of 10 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on April 6, 2008 12:39 PM