He gets scared around girls, you guys.
After Braden's eviction, the people who voted for Chima figure out pretty quickly that someone double-crossed them. In general, people are not all that sorry about Braden leaving the house, considering that they only knew him for like ten days. Lydia, in particular, is not that sad about it: "Sorry, Braden! There are repercussions for your actions, and the words you say!" What? All he did was call her a bitch. There was absolutely nothing edited out of that exchange at all, right? I don't have the internets.
(Sound of cattle prod offscreen)
"I mean, Braden is a....great guy!"
Jordan immediately confronts Ronnie about the flipped vote, since he's really the only person who could have done it. I mean, Jordan figured it out, and she doesn't know what a 90 degree turn is.
Ronnie is all "No, it was Michele!" like she's some sort of dastardly villain about to tie him to the train tracks. In her labcoat, I guess. Ronnie tells us that he's planning on selling Michele out, except he uses the phrase "under the bus" which would make him dead to me, if he weren't already. Maybe I need to invent a new level of Dead To Me for people like Ronnie, because I feel that they have earned it. People like Ronnie can be Super Dead To Me, or maybe even a zombie of some sort.
Ronnie continues to increase my disdain for him by making another idiotic Star Wars reference which involves calling Jessie Emperor Palpatine (which is stupid in and of itself) and then calling himself "Darth Ronnie". I have a feeling he might have sewn his own costume and everything at home.
Jessie tells us he was excited Ronnie won, but he does it in the most annoying way possible, by screaming a lot and flexing in the Diary Room. I feel like that's all Jessie does. Put the cereal back in the pantry, then go flex and scream in the Diary Room! Celebrate Kwanzaa by flexing and screaming in the Diary Room! Renew your car registration, then go flex and scream in the Diary Room!
Chesty LaRue admits that she is nervous about Ronnie being HOH, because he's the sneakiest person in the house. Casey says he thinks Ronnie is doing all of this because he has a master plan, which he very obviously does not. Ronnie's definitely one of those people who makes moves because they make him look strategic, and not because they actually have any strategic purpose.
After the HOH competition, Michele mans up and tells Chima that she voted to evict her. Chima points out how messed up that is because they're on the same team, which causes Michele to argue that they've never played like they're on a team. So Chima gets loud all of a sudden and starts screaming at Michele about how she doesn't talk behind anyone's back, and the whole thing is twelve different kinds of random. Of course, she should be yelling at Ronnie, since most of this is his fault. Way to create a bunch of dissonance on your team, Ronnie. What a "strategic" "mastermind" you are!
Jeff, Michele and the remaining Populars talk in the empty pool room about who the rat might be when Ronnie enters. Jeff is pretty much the only one who hasn't figured out that Ronnie is responsible for the stray vote yet, so he starts asking Ronnie why he isn't worried about it. Ronnie is all "We have the power this week! Relax!" and totally not lying well at all. The second he leaves, Chesty LaRue outs him. She thinks that Ronnie has orchestrated everything that's happened so far (up to and including the 5-5 tie) in order to start a war between the sides which will result in him being the last one standing. This is, of course, giving him way, way too much credit, but nonetheless, Chesty is not as dumb as her scary cartoon exterior would imply.
Ronnie re-enters the room and continues to try way too hard to convince them that Michele cast the errant vote, yapping about how people's true colors will always shine through. Which is why he loves you. Don't be afraid to let them show!
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Comments (20)
Ok I'm done with this show, cancelled my 2 week free live feed today. It takes forever to cancel but I stayed the course. I can't even look at the TV when Lydia or Jessie are on. Great recap, this had me laughing "YEAH, Mark McGrath is hosting Extra tonight!"
Hahahahahaha! Guess I'll just have to be disappointed this season. Don't know if I'll even watch the shows, may just ck out gasm's recaps, thanks Grodner for another shi**y season.
1 of 20 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on July 20, 2009 9:54 AM
I knew when I saw chesty chewing with her mouth open that we would see that in a screen cap. And thanks for the shock of seeing Jerry, I couldn't not look. Ow, my brain.
Enjoyed seeing Dan this week, how quickly I forgot how yummy he is!
Great recap!
2 of 20 | Posted by alicethemaid | Posted on July 20, 2009 10:19 AM
Grodner is probably trying to bring back the awesome awkwardness of Season 6 and Cappy's Nerd Herd vs. Kaysar and everyone else.
In Darth Ron's defense, I would say he was astute enough not to throw loyalty either way in Week One, but he should not have promised his vote to both sides and gotten some assurances to further his stay in the house. Instead, he's made both sides view him as untrustworthy and no one will be sad to see him go. (As a viewer, I will, since he's playing the game, albeit badly).
How awesome would be it if Chima and Casey have an undercover alliance, a la Danielle and the Christian guy from Season 3? Clearly, none of the dummies in the house would suspect that at all. Especially with a house this divided, it makes sense to align on the DL with someone from the other side.... especially someone that everyone knows you hate.
3 of 20 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on July 20, 2009 10:21 AM
I really hate people who just make things up and I loathe people who go nuts for no reason. So I despise Ronnie, who lied about Jeff “rampaging” or “raging” or something that was simply not happening (Jeff was merely looking bewildered and asking questions,) and I abhor Chima who seems to scream when others make valid or accurate assessments of situations.
When Ronnie came prancing out in his gold lame’, I started screaming, “My eyes! My eyes! It burns!” But it was too late. The damage was done, and I’m scarred for life.
You know this group is awful when Casey starts to look like the likeable one.
4 of 20 | Posted by cattyfan | Posted on July 20, 2009 10:50 AM
I actually really like this season. I agree that no one is really likeable, but I am still amused.
Also, didn't Dan have a girlfriend last season? The tiebreaker question makes me wonder if something happened between them.
5 of 20 | Posted by tv freak | Posted on July 20, 2009 11:22 AM
'Random' is definitely the word for this mess.
I worked on a boat in Alaska with an acid-head who called himself 'Random.'
Just thought I'd throw that one out.
So, am I the only one who is starting to find the Big-breasted one likeable? Seriously.
And Blondie (who has a nice rack herself) did a great Joisey accent, she should get credit for that. Well, anyway, it surprised me. Wouldn't have expected it.
The Bewildered Chicago Homophobe comes off all right, even if he's a complete ditz.
I agree that this crew is hopeless, which is what's making this season kind of enjoyable so far. It's like watching the dancing lights in a screensaver.
6 of 20 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 20, 2009 12:41 PM
First, I'm on Ronnie's side no matter what side he's aligned with. That is until he's kicked out of the BB HOUSE at which point I'm on Russell's side.
Second, Ronnie needs to come out of the closet. Legally Blonde?, Little kitty? Oh, and he seemed to be enjoying that gold two piece outfit just a little too much. Take it down a notch, Mary.
Speaking of 300 it would be so cool if all the actors from that movie 300 invaded the BB house and chased everybody out with the exception of Jessie, Russell and (okay, Ronnie because he would enjoy it so much) and turned it into some SUPER GAY BIG BROTHER house. All those men walking around without their shirts on would be SO hot.
Uh, and Schoonie. Everybody who reads your recaps wants a lock of your hair but personally you can just send me a hundred bucks and a pack of smokes. Just don't expect anything in return.
7 of 20 | Posted by Mr Dangerous | Posted on July 20, 2009 12:42 PM
Mr. D, I'm hoping you try out for next season. Please?
8 of 20 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 20, 2009 12:59 PM
itchy
Loved your very random comments about someone called Random, very glad you threw it out there, it made me laugh. I was pleasantly surprised by HootieMcBoobs, she's smarter than here cup size indicates which is why Ronnie wants her gone, and she will probably be gone as of Thursday. What happens to Jordan's popular team of 1 after that?
9 of 20 | Posted by soapboxx | Posted on July 20, 2009 1:16 PM
You all do know that they really edited what happend, right? Braden used some pretty derogartory and racist language toward both lydia and kevin...it wasn't just what was shown on tv. That kinda pisses me off...CBS made it seem like the two of them blew up over something just as little as being called a bitch or a slut, but it was actually much more than that...
or am I missing a sarcastic point of this and everyone already knows this?
I don't think this is really spolier material, since it happened last week, but it is very material to what happened and CBS misrepresented what happened...
10 of 20 | Posted by pappy44 | Posted on July 20, 2009 1:57 PM
Not to worry, pappy, I think everyone here is aware of the Braden thing.
The thing is, these are recaps of the reality SHOW, not the reality.
Which is really kind of cool, when you think about it. It definitely drives home the silliness of the calling this genre 'reality.'
11 of 20 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 20, 2009 2:10 PM
It drove me nuts how Ronnie mentioned several times after nominating Laura and Jeff that he was giving them the opportunity to fight to save themselves. You didn't create the Veto Competition Ronnie, it's there every week! Are they supposed to be grateful to him for it?
12 of 20 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on July 20, 2009 3:36 PM
I like Laura, Jeff, Jordan and Casey but sadly it seems like this alliance won't be lasting very long. But since it is Big Brother I guess the people that most of America hates have to last the longest. Ugh.
Schoonie, I'm surprised you didn't mention how when Ronnie was crying he said that he promised he wouldn't cry. I legit LOL'd seeing as how he already cried on National Television when he found out he was going to the Big Brother house. Man do I hate Ronnie. He's one of those people who thinks they are so great because they're "weird."
13 of 20 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on July 20, 2009 4:15 PM
I have livefeeds-I also rarely go on them. I was on the other day...to download my free MP3 songs.
I have been reading your recaps way more than watching this time. I don't get it.
I was very excited when Dan made a cameo and made me dislike the HGs even more.
14 of 20 | Posted by hoxharding | Posted on July 20, 2009 4:56 PM
Love the recap schoonie!
make sure you don't mix your trekker and star wars references...its like choosing btwn BSB and NSYNC. there can only be one for those types of folks. (not me of course, i loved them both)
I thought I was the only one going crazy and actually nodding in agreement with laura. who woulda thunk we would end up rooting for hooters?
15 of 20 | Posted by shelley | Posted on July 20, 2009 7:51 PM
Ronnie is so full of shit. By putting up Laura and Jeff, there's no way they'll be able to back-door Russell. They needed both of those votes in order to complete the eviction, even if someone comes off the block. And that's assuming that someone uses the veto. DUMBASS.
Clearly, I'm on Team Jordan/Jeff/Laura/Casey.
16 of 20 | Posted by slumrville | Posted on July 20, 2009 8:53 PM
It's hard to believe anyone in the house could make Jessie seem almost acceptable.
Ronnie is heinous. Even worse than that douchebag Jerry.
17 of 20 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 21, 2009 12:00 AM
Just a random blast from the past:
JORTS!!!!!!!
18 of 20 | Posted by slumrville | Posted on July 21, 2009 5:35 AM
That competition was so hilariously uncomfortable. No matter how much upbeat music CBS uses, they cannot hide how much the houseguests hate each other. I cannot believe (okay, I can) how horrible Chima and Natalie are. The comments they made throughout the game were stupid.. and you know they are the same ones who turn around and screech whenever someone else comments. Grr, I hate those two.
The best part was how hilarious Jessie was when he saw Dan. It was like Dan was the reminder for them that Jessie really is a moronic tool, and not the amazing BB player they pretend he is.
19 of 20 | Posted by lickitysplit | Posted on July 21, 2009 9:58 AM
Ronnie, lying for absolutely no reason, when you are horrible at it, does not make you Dr. Will, it makes you evicted next week. (I HOPE). Serious hate rays shoot out of my life when I think about him.
That luxury competition was so stupid. We don't know the houseguests well enough yet to care about the questions they were asking. And they aren't giving us anything, as you hilariously pointed out. Accents as a filler? What happened to the Big Brother Edit I know and love?
Sadness.
I despise most of these houseguests. can Laura or Jordan, Jeff, Casey, and Michelle? possibly become anything close to The Sovereign Alliance from s6? Cuz I already hate Jesse, Russell et al MORE than the nerd herd.
Russell is Cappy plus Evel Dick times one thousand.
20 of 20 | Posted by loiseau_chante | Posted on July 21, 2009 7:44 PM