We begin after nominations, as always. Sheila wants everyone else to "come through for her" and keep her in the game. Both Matt and Natalie are happy to be safe. This is news, people. They could be unhappy to be safe, much like roughly half the cast of Survivor this season, which has been filled with a bunch of quitters and whiny babies. James tells us for (rewinds and counts) the fourth time that Sheila and Ryan are nominated. Wait, what is going on? I wish someone would explain to me what these "nominations" are of which he speaks. Wait, so let me get this straight: whomever loses the least amount of weight is subject to the vote? When do they get to be in Girlicious? HOW DOES THIS SHOW WORK?
Matt takes Natalie in the storage room and thanks her. That is not a sexual euphemism, he really offers his thanks. His gratutitous thanks. In her butt. Natalie tells him that he can pay her back with a week of massages. What is with this chick? She should at least try to get to first base.
Meanwhile, Ryan is checking with Josh to make sure that Josh has his back. He stares at Josh dumbly, like he is a giant Swiss Cake Roll. Just so you guys know, my notes seriously, actually say "Ryan is dumb" every single time he speaks, throughout the whole episode. He's not cute dumb like Natalie is, he's dumb dumb, y'all. Josh (because if you betray a secret alliance, no one really cares) is like, "Yeah, sure, I've got your back!" even though Josh could give a shit.
Ryan and Sheila commiserate about how screwed they are, with Sheila talking about how they seem to be bearing the brunt of the rage from James even though everyone lied to him. These two, they can just relate on the same intellectual level, you know? It's like Riding The Bus With My Sister up in this bitch.
And the monk music starts up, and I go "Please, Lord, give us more stupid Bible time" because that was awesome last week. Matt, Adam and Ryan read their pink Bibles covered in pink blankets in their pink room. Matt is just "really into this Bible story", and then Adam starts talking about the Ark of the Covenant, which (logically) leads to an Indiana Jones retrospective, including discussion of the Holy Grail. They decide that if one of them wins the show, they'll spend the money searching for it so they can make even more money. That plan is flawless! The part of the rolling boulder will be played by Ryan, I guess.
Later Sheila is sitting in the backyard with Sharon and Adam comes out. She apologizes to him for being such a bitch at the beginning of the game. It's a totally random time to do it, 35 days into the game, and it probably has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she is nominated. I would also like to point out that Sheila looks almost exactly like Thing 1 and/or Thing 2 in that leotard.
James and the others sit around in the pool, trying to suss out who the mystical third vote to keep James out of the house was. James recaps that they know it's either Matt or Adam. Natalie tells us that she has to do her best to make it seem like Adam was the one who cast the vote, so Natalie very blatantly lies to Sharon, who we all know is not dumb. Since Natalie sort of...is, Sharon figures it out immediately. She just brushes Natalie off, leaving Natalie thinking that she has pulled off some sort of elaborate ruse. This is completely unrelated (sort of), but when I was a kid, we'd take a flashlight and shine it on the wall, and the cat would stalk it all around the room and jump all over it and go apeshit trying to catch it. You would let it get really close, and then move it at the last second, and the cat would look around like, "Shit! I almost had it that time." We used to do this over and over again, for hours. Natalie? Is my grandma's cat.
Later, Natalie is walking by the hamster cage and she notices that the blocks in the cage now spell "POV". Her first thought, undoubtedly, must have been "Oh my god you guys, I've seen Charlotte's Web, and THIS HAMSTER CAN SPELL."
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Comments (13)
I`ll agree that Sheila does look like Thing 2, the only noticeable difference is that Thing 2 has far fewer wrinkles!
PS-Great recap and quick also!!
1 of 13 | Posted by hardlyworking | Posted on March 19, 2008 5:17 AM
The fake POV competition was the funniest thing ever! But, yet again, Sheila disappointed. I was anxiously awaiting a psycho freak out from her and it never happened.
I used to think that James was a little smart about the game. Didn't he tell Chenbot last week that Sheila was running the game? Then he takes her off the block. Stick to panhandling, James...
2 of 13 | Posted by sbm713 | Posted on March 19, 2008 5:52 AM
I was so happy when Sharon told James that Matt was the third vote!! I really didn't want Moose to take the fall for that. But then again, at the time of the disco challenge, I think James knew it was either Matt or Adam who cast that third vote, however he still made the deal with Natalie (not to nominate her or Matty). He should have kept his word for Natalie then gunned for Matt the next week.
3 of 13 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on March 19, 2008 7:25 AM
Homo Hobo Hank drove me crazy with his obsession about finding out who was the 3rd vote. Uhh, what about the 5 that originally voted you out? By the way, did you tell Chelseeeuhhh that you volunteered her to go up on the block last week? I guess I'll give him a pass since this is probably the first feeling of power he's had in his life.
I'm glad Sheila is staying put. She's such a ray of light and happiness, it would be a shame to lose her.
4 of 13 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on March 19, 2008 8:14 AM
Thanks for the awesome and fast recap!
Can't stand a hypocrite. Especially one with a pink mohawk and rude tats. He makes plays and tells everyone it is just a game. He gets voted out and seeks vengeance on all who seek to distroy him. Not a game then, eh? He gives his word about not putting Matt up but finds ways to justify going back on his word. Makes me sick.
The only thing worse for Matty when he gets voted out is when he gets to talk to Julie and find out that it was almost his crush Alex who almost made it back in. I am expecting tears.
5 of 13 | Posted by MrsC | Posted on March 19, 2008 8:48 AM
Want to know a funny side-note to the faux-POV comp joke? I wish they would have shown this on the show last night but they rarely ever show scenes where BB speaks to the houseguests through the intercom system. For any who may not be familiar with what I'm talking about, BB has a set of robotic-like messages that tell the houseguests when to do certain things (adjust microphones, go to diary room, etc).
Well, right after she figured out she had been duped, Sheila headed right back to bed. She turned out the light, removed the leotard, climbed under the covers, and as soon as her head hit the pillow, the intercom says, "Sheila, please go to the diary room". The outside houseguests totally lost it then because they knew that the producers were getting their own shits and giggles in.
6 of 13 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on March 19, 2008 9:07 AM
I didn't even bother watching last night's show because I knew the recap would be 1 million times better =)
Also I knew what happened.
I hate James, hate Josh, hate Chelsia, and I'm starting to hate Sheila. Ugh what is with these people this season.
And my crush on Ryan is officially gone. He is such a moron. And now he just looks goofy to me.
I'm on team Natalie. She's the only one really left that I can stomach.
7 of 13 | Posted by pixi-stix | Posted on March 19, 2008 10:06 AM
Plus, we are so quick to forget James/Chel-see-uh giving Matty their word he wouldn't go up on their first HOH, then promptly nominating him. James is just the latest in a long line of hypocritical, homo hobos.
Ok so maybe the line isn't that long, but he is a hypocrite and he seriously needs to drop this vendetta and ultimate power trip he's going on this week. I'm so tired of hearing about it. I hope his hobo ass is back up on the block next week so he will STFU.
8 of 13 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on March 19, 2008 10:46 AM
Thank goodness A-Baller didn't have to take the fall for that stupid third vote. Love him!
Matt blew it when he didn't even try in the veto comp. How many times have we heard him say you can't trust a pink-haired dude? You'd think he wouldn't have felt so safe.
9 of 13 | Posted by BRaps | Posted on March 19, 2008 4:03 PM
God is probably watching American Idol like everyone else.
Good one Schoonie!!!
At first I thought Thing 1 and 2 were the original and sequel of the movie . . . . silly me . . .
10 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on March 19, 2008 4:11 PM
Has everyone forgotten that James lied to Matt and nominated him for eviction? That he also offered up Chelsia last week? All the lectures about honesty from him really were irritating. He is a total hypocrite. Shelia is running the game, think about it, last week she got Ryan to take off Matt and this week she got James to take her off the block. James seriously acted crazy about the 3 votes. Who cares? He is a nut. If you watched Chelsia last night when he was freaking out, she started looking at him funny. O yeah, by the way he said he was the first player in history to by voted back in and take control but that isn't so, That was Amy and she won the POV and refused to take Roddy off which resulted in his eviction. And remember James offered up Chelsia AFTER he thought she was flirting with Ryan and Matt. Kids wierd and insecure. He's falling apart, a stronger group would have called him out. Sharon knows, she's just biding her time. Wow what a ramble! Great Recap!!
11 of 13 | Posted by mistichristi | Posted on March 19, 2008 4:43 PM
"The Quest for the Grail begins at sunrise. But first: body shots."
Funniest. Caption. Ever.
12 of 13 | Posted by lickitysplit | Posted on March 20, 2008 8:31 AM
>And the monk music starts up, and I go "Please, Lord, give us more stupid Bible time" because that was awesome last week.
omg. I said the same thing. Rather, I shouted it (quietly since the baby was sleeping). then I laughed heartily when the graphic came up!!!
13 of 13 | Posted by erraticdawnzie | Posted on March 20, 2008 6:19 PM